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gah. they said they don't think they can help me?

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Old 01-06-2009, 02:14 PM   #1
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Unhappy gah. they said they don't think they can help me?

so, my mom and i decided that it's time to make a healthy change in our lives and we thought that maybe we'd try this program called the N.E.W. kids program. we were reccomended to try it by my pediatritian, it's like this program with four different people, a nurse, pediatritian, psychologist, and nutritionist. and you meet with all of them and talk about everything and they help you make goals on how to change your unhealthy lifestyle into a healthier one.

well, our appointment was yesterday and we met with everyone except for the psychologist cuz i guess he wasn't in for the day or whatever. and they asked me all these questions, about my food intake, my life, my issues, etc. i opened up to them. i told them about the b/p episodes, i told them about the plain old binging, i told them about the self injury, i told them about everything. like seriously everything. and i dont' open up to people like that, at least not in person. it's easier to do it on here because i'll prolly never meet any of you guys, i mean, don't get me wrong, it'd be awesome to meet you cuz you all seem like great people, but it's easier to open up to people you've never met than to open up to people who have seen you and are face to face with you and can judge you and stuff.

anyways, i opened up to them, i told them all this stuff, and then they go around and tell me that they don't think they'll be able to help me.

i felt like they were telling me that theres nothing they can do, like i have cancer or something and i'm dying. i know i can do this on my own, and maybe i will end up doing it one my own. with my therapist and me and my mom. but it just hurt. i don't open up to people, and this is why i don't open up. people say they want to help and then you tell them everything and they leave you.

well, needless to say when i got home from that i ended up eating like everything i could find. and then i couldn't purge because my mom was there, so i was freaking out about that, and yeah. last night ended up being terrible. i guess now i'm glad i didn't purge though. that's one step in the right direction. now i just need to work on finding a way to deal with things that doesn't involve binging, purging, self injury, or any other negative thing... gah.


i did want to end on a happy note though... looking through all the smilies i found one that made me extremely happy. and i'm gonna post it, cuz it'll bring a smile to my face to see it. (i can't tell you why it makes me happy, i have no idea... it's just fun...)

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Old 01-06-2009, 02:43 PM   #2
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Hey there. I think you should watch Oprah this week. It's her Best Life week. She talks about her own weight issues and about how you really have to love yourself and be comfortable in the body that god provided you with at this moment even overweight. If you can't learn to love yourself in the body that you have today it's hard to lose weight. You also have to make sure your doing it for the right reasons. Who cares what those People said. Use that as motivation and get healthy, but do it for YOU and no one else. It has to be more about being healthy not being skinny. Yeah being thin will be a great bonus to be more healthy but the Healthy part is the most important. If you look at it as "I just want to be skinny" Like Bob Greene says on Oprah you will end up either
1. You won't ever get "Skinny" and feel like a failure.
or
2. You will get skinny and you will find that it still doesn't make you as happy as you thought it would.
You have to want to go on this journey to be healthy and for yourself. So take it as motivation, start making small changes each day and find a fun way to work out. It doesn't have to be in a gym. Find something you like to do like maybe dancing classes or a dance video you can do at home and start eating healthy foods. When you start to feel like you need to binge and you want something sweet get some fruit it has natural sugar in it or even Sugar Free Pudding I love it, I don't taste to much of a difference and it makes me not crave sweets.

Kay!

P.S I haven't lost too much weight yet but don't forget "we are all in this together." It's a lifetime journey to learn how to be a healthy person. This is a great forum for advice and support!
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:26 PM   #3
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God bless you girl! That you won't be distracted by what "some" say is a great testament to what you're made of! I agree with Kay that Oprah will be good this week, (and I'm no fan). Yesterday was AMAZING.
One of my favorite quotes is, "There is great satisfaction in doing what others say you cannot." I am hopeful that those who are available to you will help you on to success. Keep us posted!
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:57 PM   #4
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Realize too that their decision might not be based on what you think it was. It may have been a lot of factors, that may not even have to do with you at all (your parents' insurance, the number of patients they have waiting for services).

Working in social services for years, I know some programs make screening guildelines that seem almost arbitrary. Ten nearly identical programs and each might decide they "can't" work with a certain issue - and it will be a different issue in each program.

If there are other programs, your therapist might be able to help you find them. If there aren't, it doesn't mean you have a "death sentence," it just means your journey is going to be a bit more complicated.
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:42 PM   #5
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SAMMI ~ I agree with KAPLODS: They may have meant that they couldn't help you, because THEY don't have the expertise to give you the help you need. I think you will do better with your therapist and your mom's support; and many people here know what you are going through as well. We have many people who come here who suffer from ED's.

Like the others have said, maybe if you can take the focus off blaming yourself, and put the focus on getting healthy, then you are less likely to feel like a failure. Keep in mind, that many wonderful, intelligent, and very successful people struggle with weight issues, like OPRAH ...

Some people try to comfort hurt feelings by eating food, but then try to correct or cleanse or undo that mistake by purging; while others believe purging may also be a kind of self-punishment, stemming from feelings of frustration and helplessness, as is 'self-injury'; and your therapist can help you with these issues by helping you learn how to love and forgive yourself.

I'm still working on the issue of munching myself, but now I try to recite positive, loving statements to myself when others hurt me. I know that I am sensitive and when I am criticized by others, it hurts my feelings; so I would often run straight for the munchies. I am so much better now than in the past; and I am building a tougher shell, so-to-speak.

We can't protect ourselves from all hurts, but I am weaning people out of my life who just can't seem to respect and care for other people's feelings. Some people are chronically critical, nastey, or grumpy; and no-one enjoys being around them. So, I am learning to fill my life with kind and good friends and family only.

Keep coming back: there are many people here who really understand and care ... and GOD BLESS you with much success on your new journey towards good health. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:02 PM   #6
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I would call and ask if they don't think they can help you if there is another avenue they can recomend or a doctor they can refer you to. To be honest they may want you to deal with the b/p and self injury before they would help you, but they should have told you that.
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:46 PM   #7
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SAMMI ~ I just took a break to go have dinner; and I thought of a tip that might help you as well. If you make a mistake and eat a bit too much for a snack or one meal, then on the next meal or snack, just eat lighter.

For instance, if you eat too many crackers for a snack ~ at dinner cut your simple carbs down, and have a nice salad with chicken and fruit for dessert. Many ladies here use that trick to compensate and even things out over the day or the week.
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Old 01-08-2009, 08:08 PM   #8
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so they called my mom later, i guess, and of course she didn't tell me this til later in the evening on tuesday, but yeah, they called her and were like,

"we've been thinking about this and we like that your daughter seems ready and knows there's going to be a lot of hard stuff to deal with and everything, but we'd like you both to come back for an appointment with our psychologist, so he can evaluate you and see if our program will suit you."

so we went back for an appointment today and the psychologist asked me all these questions and we talked and he said that usually they don't work with people who have eating disorders because they know it's harder for eating disordered people to just start eating healthy, sometimes the behaviors people start out with will just turn into different bad behaviors, like restricting or w/e. so yeah, he said that if they work with my therapist and if i continue seeing her (which there's no way in heck i'll stop seeing my therapist, she's amazing) that they think they will be able to help us. so we made up this treatment plan, and yeah, they're gonna help me.

and thank you guys, i know that i have to do it for me. and only i can change things. its just nice to have their support because they can help me with everything and motivate me and ya..

it was scary though cuz they were talking about my bloodwork and how my insulin has like doubled in the past year and the psychologist said that the lap band surgery is an option for me, and i was like, um NO!. cuz i don't want to have surgery. i don't want people ripping me open and sticking something foreign into my body. but i'm also scared about the high insulin cuz i don't wnat to have diabetes. but yeah, they told me that it is possible to make my insulin level go down by losing weight and becoming more healthy. so that was definately a motive for me to work on everything. which is good. >.<
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:00 PM   #9
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sammi: I'm so happy for you, getting into this program. You must have really impressed them with your mature attitude and readiness, if they don't usually take people with eating disorders.
Feel free and welcome to keep coming here for support, as well as the other sources you have there and with your therapist. You have all the right tools, but we can be here for when the ride isn't always smooth.
good luck
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Old 01-10-2009, 02:03 PM   #10
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I wonder what it is about the program that it wouldn't be able to suit you?

Good luck this time around, Let us know what happens at the psychiatrist
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