[akacutie]

I don't know what has gone wrong today. I am embarssed but I need to talk about this with someone.

I am a compulsive over eater though not currently doing anything to work through my mental issues with food. I have only worked food part- for years actually with no lasting results. I do almost anything I can to avoid naming feelings that lead to binges. I am sad to say I also purge. This is big because I have never admitted this to anyone else. The one time someone heard me throwing up I said I ate so much that it just happened and said that if I ate to much that happens some times. I was just more careful to make sure no one ever heard me. I don't purge enough to lose weight though, it is usually a result of a really bad binge and the resulting guilt.

Tonight is the second binge in a row followed by a purge. I don't know what has set this off. I am just trying to get back on a program after a two week break with normal eating (no binge). I have joined a year long challenge in the chicks up for a challenge section and I think that might have been to much pressure.

I am going to try and be binge free tomorrow. Also I might remove myself from the year long challenge and focus on a smaller goal perhaps?

I am off to journal now. I am trying to journal more to help with feeling that lead to overeating.

Thanks for listening-

[enchantedonyx]

*hugs*
Hang in there! I'm glad you could share your day with us. I agree that smaller goals might be better for you right now. Best of luck. We're all rooting for you.

[weenser]

Hi Cutie,

I just wanted to tell you that it is huge that you've thrown down here. You are not alone.

I say definitely pull yourself out of the challenge, because the pressure of a competition is so likely to trigger you. Adding a new set of standards to judge yourself by -- on top of the ones you already have.

I'm with you...

[Billies Pottery]

I hope that talking about this helps you to move past those issues.
All of us chicks will be here to help when you need us.
I would be lying if i said i had never thought about making myself purge after a binge. I've never done it though.
I have, however, drank dieter's tea as a way to push everything on through my system. Not really much different really.

I thought about drinking that tea again last night after i had my carb crazy binge fest. But i don't want to do that again.
That tea is bad stuff. You sort of get hooked on it, without it you get constipated for days. The first time i used it, i drank it daily for 2 weeks in a row. I lost a few pounds, but it wasn't worth it because my bowels have never been the same since. Aside from the ongoing constipation issues, i became lactose intolerant. Cleansing teas strip you of all your natural flora.

I sort of feel like this is a confession of my own.
The 3FC is the best.

[caniwasteurtime2]

i know its hard, but dealing with those emotional issues will help so much. being honest with yourself is the first step, i feel. i was never honest with myself and hid behind the food i binged on. the faster i ate, the less i had to think about whatever i was running from. slow down, take your time, breathe deeply, and you can do it. seriously.

[fatmad]

Good luck with smaller changes.
And Billie, try taking acidophilus or other probiotics to get your intestinal flora back to normal, or eat a good active culture yoghurt.

[Billies Pottery]

Thank you fatmad, i do take probiotics and it helps a lot. When i quit taking them tho, i get problems again. I just have to take them all the time.