I don't know what has gone wrong today. I am embarssed but I need to talk about this with someone.
I am a compulsive over eater though not currently doing anything to work through my mental issues with food. I have only worked food part- for years actually with no lasting results. I do almost anything I can to avoid naming feelings that lead to binges. I am sad to say I also purge. This is big because I have never admitted this to anyone else. The one time someone heard me throwing up I said I ate so much that it just happened and said that if I ate to much that happens some times. I was just more careful to make sure no one ever heard me. I don't purge enough to lose weight though, it is usually a result of a really bad binge and the resulting guilt.
Tonight is the second binge in a row followed by a purge. I don't know what has set this off. I am just trying to get back on a program after a two week break with normal eating (no binge). I have joined a year long challenge in the chicks up for a challenge section and I think that might have been to much pressure.
I am going to try and be binge free tomorrow. Also I might remove myself from the year long challenge and focus on a smaller goal perhaps?
I am off to journal now. I am trying to journal more to help with feeling that lead to overeating.
Thanks for listening-