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Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 12-02-2008, 01:07 AM   #1
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Unhappy I'm On a Binge

As much as it kills me to admit it, I know it's the only way I can make any progress. I am on a binge. Hey--at least I'm telling someone.

After work I went to Taco del Mar because I was hungry and nothing I have in the fridge sounded good. Thing is--I went grocery shopping just today. That's probably part of it, since I spent all but $10 of the money I have left from my paycheck, and the next payday isn't until the 15th. I know my mom will help me out, and I do have plenty of food in the house now so I won't starve to death, but still. Money is a stresser.

And then there's the fact that I'm SO freaking lonely these days. My boyfriend and I broke up on July 17th (he broke up with me and then told me he'd been cheating on me for pretty much the entire 3 1/2 years we were together). I'll never want to go back to him, obviously, but I miss having another person around. All the guys I've met since then are either looking for just one thing or entirely emotionally unavailable. I just want someone to really talk to and have a connection with. I love my friends and all, but it's not the same.

So basically, food is my comfort and my friend. Specifically, that Taco del Mar taco salad and this can of triple chocolate fudge frosting are my friends. Why, oh why can't my vice be something else? Like NOT eating?

I know that I'm going to feel really really horrible when it's all said and done. Usually a binge for me ends with me curled up in bed feeling nauseous. It's actually quite akin to the feeling of having drunk way too much and being sick, except that I've never been able to throw up after a binge.

At least I've admitted it, though, and I've been honest here. The relative anonymity of the internet helps. So tomorrow, even though I'll be just as broke and lonely as I am today, I'll try to do better. For now, though, it's time for me to turn out the light and curl up in my bed. That's the only way I'll stop eating (other than finishing the can of frosting).
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Old 12-02-2008, 02:01 AM   #2
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Honestly, I think you are inspiring! I am sooo impressed that you came on here to talk about it. I usually only post the good things I do to celebrate, and other than one time recently, I pretend like these bad times dont happen.
At least you`ll wake up in the morning...and...well...Its another day..
Gotta love cliches.
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Old 12-02-2008, 02:41 AM   #3
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Hey KendraLynn,
I think it's great that you had the courage to share that! The funny thing is, I did exactly what you did and I even blogged about it. Like everyone else on here said, the important thing is you realize why you did it and most importantly you realize that tomorrow is a new day. I bet it feel good to get all that stuff off your chest. I eat for reasons other than hunger sometimes too, something I am really trying to work on and change.

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Old 12-02-2008, 04:32 AM   #4
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FYI- Your cheating ex was unavailable, too. Actually, he was aparently too available. At least he did you a big favor and got his unfaithful tail out of your life so that now you can be able to receive the love of someone who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. You can make it through this time. Just dont give up. You've dropped some serious weight! (Not to mention the poundage of that dude). One thing you di tha i have done- It sounds like you got way hugry. Is it possibe for you to keep premade meals/snacks around? I had a friend a long time ago tell me that even after she had dropped a bunch of weight and maintained it, there were times when she had to change the route she drove home to avoid a chain that sold her trigger food. Anywho- best wishes to you. That binge was nothing but a blip on the screen for you. Take care.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:21 AM   #5
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Can I let you in on a little secret? Having someone in your life doesn't equate to feeling fullfilled. I've been happily married for 17 years to a great guy and have 3 kids and I still feel lonely. I'm learning that I have to learn to love ME first before I can get past the binging. Binging for me is that self-destructive thing I do.

Hugs and hope you feel better tomorrow.
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Old 12-09-2008, 03:29 PM   #6
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We all do this! Don't even sweat it, you'll drive yourself insane. Just get right back on and keep going! Eventually, we will reach a point where you don't bing anymore (hopefully.) Every single person on here has binged or screwed up at some point... If they didn't get right back on track, no one here would ever lose weight! Best of luck & I hope you are feeling better!

PS-You're better off without that jerk anyways!!!
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:05 PM   #7
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Wow, you are so brave. When I overeat I tend to just hermit and chew.

Not sure if this helps, but I had a very good friend who was single for ages, and I do mean years. Someone who was perfect for her came along when she was having fun and had joined a salsa class with some friends. Sometimes people come along when you least expect it and aren't looking. Is there something you always wanted to learn that you could go do for yourself?
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Old 12-09-2008, 09:07 PM   #8
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PS- your profile pic is beautiful!
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Old 12-10-2008, 01:27 AM   #9
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I have been on a binge too. Thanks for sharing- feel less alone.
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Old 12-10-2008, 08:46 AM   #10
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Hope you are getting past your binge now. Don't dwell on it with guilt. Just move on. You are VERY brave to come and admit it. Its easy to post that you are this many or that many days binge free. Much harder to admit when you go over the line.
I also think your pic is beautiful.
Glad the boyfriend is gone, you will be able to move on when you are really ready, and you will find the right person then.
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Old 12-20-2008, 04:29 PM   #11
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Well to admit the truth I just had chocolate and shouldn't have! AAAAAAAGHHH
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Old 12-23-2008, 09:02 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KendraLynn View Post
After work I went to Taco del Mar because I was hungry and nothing I have in the fridge sounded good.
I know exactly what you mean, KendraLynn! When I'm in the mood to binge it doesn't matter how much food I have at home. Unless it's canned frosting (one of my favorites, too) and pizza it doesn't sound good to me at all.

I've been going through binge **** the past few months so I know how you feel. I'm slowly coming to recognize the emotional stressors that are behind it and am getting a grip...one tiny bit at a time. Still, progress is progress.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:38 PM   #13
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Thumbs up Don't Despair!


KendraLynn, it's good you're being honest with yourself!! Don't beat yourself up, it's so easy to be tempted by yummy food when we feel down emotionally and it's a tough blow to deal with from your ex! The good news is that you've lost a lot of weight already - and boy will he be sorry!! Jump right back in the saddle, I have to try so hard every day but you are beautiful and motivating others, hang in there - chances are you won't want that fattening treat if you can wait it out! Look at what you've accomplished already - Good for YU!!
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Old 12-25-2008, 11:25 PM   #14
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Hey sweetie,

Don't feel bad. I'm also on a bit of a binge. My boyfriend and I broke up recently so I've turned to food for comfort. It's tough to get out of the rut but it takes time, support and loving yourself Hang in there!
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Old 12-26-2008, 02:33 AM   #15
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When I was in my early 20's and realized I was a binge eater and was gaining too much weight, I got desperate and got diet pills from my doctor. I took them for a week and was elated that I had no desire to eat when taking them, but I actually stopped taking them just so I could binge. The binging was not about the food...it was about using food to self-medicate.

I came to this forum for support, but also knowledge about binging and how to cope with it. The second part may be here and I just haven't found it yet. So I started doing some googling and came across a site that pretty much nails what I was looking for. And this is something that I really already knew, but it's easier to eat than it is to face my problems, so I needed to be reminded of this.

I cannot link to the site, because it's against forum policy, so I'll cover most of the points that hit home in my own words, and will quote one part at the end. I don't want to promote the site because they are trying to sell a product. I am not encouraging anyone to buy their product. I just found so much good free information on their site that I'd like to share. So here is a synopsis (with some of my own thoughts added):

Quote:
Compulsive eating is not done because you are hungry. It is done because you are not dealing with some emotion or stress in your life. It could be depression (in which case you may need medication and therapy), or sub-clinical depression (in which case therapy may help, or finding the right self-help books or programs to teach you how to find better tools to use than food.

You may be a perfectionist, or not know how to deal with relationship problems, or stresses on the job, or in school. You may have grown up with lack of self-worth for various reasons. You may have been emotionally or sexually abused as a child, or been obese as a child and despise your self-image.

The biggest mistake that people who binge make is saying to themselves, "I'll never binge again!" Even though almost everyone that binges says that to themselves, it sets you up for self-hatred, guilt and failure. YOu will binge again because it makes you feel better emotionally, and it's OK...as long as your goal is to learn what is causing you to need the food to self-medicate and learn to make positive steps toward improving your self-image and changing the habit from binging to successful techniques, and emotional maturity. It's a habit that needs to be broken, just like any addiction is.

There are goals to look at to feel successful in your journey. Are you binging less often? Are your binges shorter duration? Can you forgive yourself for being human and making a mistake? Do you recognize why you are binging? Are you getting better at facing and dealing with the cause of binging? Are you learning to love yourself (positive self-talk)? Take one gentle step at a time. You are looking for progress, not perfection.

Emotional eating is the number one reason diets fail. Going on a diet is just punishing yourself for being bad. And eventually, you will tire of the punishment or feel bad about something else, and go off the deep end. Then, if you forgot why you were binging in the first place, you fall back into the old cycle of self-loathing, instead of continuing on the progress of learning how to deal with your emotions in more positive ways.

Just because emotional eating makes you feel satisified now, doesn't mean that's the only way to feel satisfied in the future. After you've learned to find that satisfaction without food, you will look back and wonder why you thought food was the only answer.

When you eliminate compulsive eating as a coping mechanism, you start to learn how to tackle the real problems. Giving up emotional eating is not a loss. It is actually preventing you from coping with life's challenges.

The stronger the habit of using food to cope, the harder it becomes to stop using it...so when you see yourself falling back into binging, don't beat yourself up over it. Just realize that you need to refocus yourself on what the real problems are again and dealing with them honestly (even though it may be painful). Just take it in small steps. Emotional eating allows us to suppress feelings that we need to address to fix. Suppressing them doesn't cure them. Only facing them will cure them. They will just keep coming back to urge you to binge again and again till you face them.

Here are some hints that your eating is emotional:
hunger comes on suddenly
cravings for specific comfort foods (usually not healthy choices)
hunger feels urgent
you find yourself eating unconsciously when you aren't even hungry
even after feelign full you still crave more food
you can't stop thinking of a certain kind of food
after eating you feel guilty

If you are addicted to food a lot of your day is spent thinking about what you are going to eat, when you're going to eat, and whether or not you will have exactly the right food in front to satisfy your food addiction. This is one of the reasons dieting is not really a good way to cure addictive eating. You are still spending all your time focusing on food.
This last part is quoted directly and I will be happy to supply the link to anyone who wants to read this site for themselves, in a PM.

Quote:
All addiction stems from a place of arrested psychological development. It represents a place where people didn't learn to soothe themselves and so they seek that comfort in a substance, whether it's food, drugs or alcohol. Each time you avoid dealing with reality by overeating, you lose confidence that you can in fact face reality. Overtime this lack of confidence has you reach for the comfort of food more and more often.

When you shut down your mind too many times with food, binging becomes a compulsion. That means your mind always believes it needs food to deal with stress. Once that happens, you can't control what you eat no matter how hard you try.

You binge to cope with your feelings.
You binge to create the illusion of feeling good.
You binge to feel "safe" or to shut out the world.
I'm not advocating anyone go into therapy (although that may work for you), but you might want to do some research...maybe from the internet or library. Or just self-reflection to figure out what is really driving your food addiction. Once you find the real problem and start to work on it, your compulsive eating will probably cure itself.

That is not to say you don't want to change your lifestyle now by choosing healthy eating and exercise. That too will help you improve your self-image. But I'm trying to offer suggestions about the question asked in this very thread. Why am I binging again and how do I stop it?

Last edited by recidivist; 12-26-2008 at 02:35 AM.
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