I stepped on the scale this morning for my weekly weigh-in and I'm up nearly FOUR POUNDS from last week.

??? ???

So, I went back and looked at my week.

Well, last Thursday (weigh-in day), I was very pleased with my weight and another inch lost on my waist. I also got some very good news about a situation that had been causing me a LOT of stress for a couple of weeks.

Of course, that led to a nice celebration at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I did very well with my food choices... but that pitcher of margarita was followed by a bottle of wine and... well... you know.

Friday, I had two glasses of red wine with dinner.

Saturday, a bottle of champagne on a date.

Sunday, my husband and I had two bottles of wine with dinner out. Continuing the celebration? Or is it now a habit?

Monday, nothing.

Tuesday, hard apple cider.

Wednesday, nothing.

Okay, but that's FIVE days out of SEVEN when--even when my food choices were "on plan" or within only 100 calories of being right on track--I added booze (and not a small amount, most of the time) to the mix.

So, now I'm certain I've developed a habit.

I like how it feels to get a little loose. I like the celebration of a toast. I like altering my mindset a wee bit because I keep myself so tightly wound and in control during the rest of my day. I like to be a social drinker in social situations.

I don't get drunk. I "hold my booze" well due to being such a big girl and having a high tolerance. I don't binge drink or black out or anything that makes me worried about something like alcoholism. If anything, I'm hyper-sensitive to the possibility of any addictive behavior, so I'm always mindful of that.

But OBVIOUSLY, I'm going to need to cut out/cut back (way back) the boozing if I want my weightloss to continue.

I posted this in the CHICKS IN CONTROL section because this does seem like a control issue, a binge-like situation, a trend that could lead toward something harder to break out of if I don't get it under control (but mods, please move if I'm wrong in thinking this is where this goes--thanks). I'm hoping that some of you amazing people might have some suggestions on how to break this cycle.

Things to say to myself/do for myself when:

1. I want that first drink.
2. I convince myself that I'm "good" otherwise, so I can afford the drink.
3. I get bratty and say, "I can have whatever I want, dammit," and have a drink.
4. I feel sorry for myself for preventing myself from having a drink.

I've tried using logic in each of these situations, before. And apparently, this isn't a logical situation most of the time. It's tied up in so much other "stuff" that I can't reason with it and say, "Hey, Grace, just choose NOT to have a drink today. You'll feel better tomorrow," and believe it, more than a couple of times a week.

Even if I could just flip the numbers to having "two drinking days" and "five non-drinking days" per week, I know that would be a victory. *Usually*, that's about the ratio I live with. Something just got off-kilter this past week, and I'm trying to get back on track...

...when what I really want after that "bad" weigh-in is a nice cocktail. (Kidding! I'm "dry" today. It's tomorrow I'm concerned with.)

Thanks in advance for any tips you might have!

Thanks for your honest post, Grace. This is my current battle too. Of course there's always the munchies that go with the wine once I get started.

I've decided to instigate a few new rules for myselfr:
1. Ration what I have in the house cause if it's there I'm gonna enjoy it. Budget wise I know the larger bottle of wine is a better deal, but an open bottle is an empty bottle at my house, so I'm gonna start buying only the regular bottles and limit myself that way. (At one point I bought only the individual serving bottles!)
2. I live alone so it is so easy to come home from work, open that bottle of wine while I fix dinner and then finish it off after dinner. Instead I'm going to force myself to drink something else with dinner if I'd already had a pre-dinner glass of wine rather than continuing.
3. Working back up to this one, but in previous successful WW efforts I forced myself to drink alcohol only if I had activity points to trade for it. You should have seen that trreadmill flying
Hope some of this helps and I'm looking forward to reading other responses.

Thank YOU, Parsp. I appreciate your quick reply. And yeah, the will power certainly gets wonky when the booze get in the brain, eh? Luckily, I've been pretty good about NOT doing the munchies thing, because I figure I've "spent" my "snack budget" on the alcohol itself. MOST of the time.

Ooh, that's so true! "An open bottle is an empty bottle." So so so true. Not every time, but certainly often enough that it's worth going with the smaller ones and not keeping stuff "on hand." Good one!

Oh, that's sooo hard though, isn't it? Because it's yummy and you've already had some... and, yeah, I see where I get into this bind. I figure, "in for a penny, in for a pound." That's not a great mindset on this issue, eh?

Oooh, another great tip! THANK YOU! I think we're getting a Wii Fit here soon (and if not, whatever, anything physical is going to have to do, dangit) and I love the idea of having to trade off in order to get the "reward" of the booze.

That'll both keep me from drinking as often AND increase my exercise a LOT, should I want the drink more than not want to exercise!!

You've reminded me that back when I was on a "gym binge" (like 100 days straight of gym days), I really curtailed my drinking simply because it was just so much *easier* to work out if I didn't have the dull ache of the "one too many rounds" from the day before.

What a wonderful tip! I'll have to EARN my cocktails. I love it! Much more likely to either WORK to earn it OR just cut the drinking way back (win-win, either way, right?). Excellent. Thank you.

Absolutely!! Very helpful already. Thank you!!! And I too am eager to see how this thread progresses.

I'm already feeling more hopeful, so thanks for that!

I also like to have a cocktail. It can lead to bad choices and water retention so I have been trying to limit intake. I am a calorie counter and a lower carb- type eater. I factor the bevvie (usually wine or a vodka drink) into the count and take it from there.
Last weekend I drank beer for the first time in a very long time. You read my post following that escapade...

Wedding anniversary this weekend and 50th birthday next - any suggestions for how to indulge without falling off the wagon. I'd love to have a special drink or dessert or something!!!!
Just started calorie counting and daily walking Sunday and have lost over 3 pounds (need to update my stats) so far and don't want a setback. Before I decided to do this, I bought all the ingredients for a most excellent Mexican Mudslide (basically a kahlua-amaretto-bailey's choco shake) which is most tempting...
Going out to dinner for the anniversary (French restaurant who's food I don't like much, which is good) but spending my birthday at a cabin in the woods...

Thanks for the great tips! I've been struggling myself. I love coming home from work and having a glass of wine. The problem is when I have a glass of wine... and another one ... and next thing you know, no mas wine to be had. I will definitely have to give these strategies a try!

As the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (my mom has 19 years of sobriety now), whose whole family on that side are alcoholics, a couple of things I've gleaned from them. One, not everyone who is an alcoholic "binges" or blacks out. Yes, those are signs of alcoholism, but they are not the only signs. Generally speaking, the alcoholics in my family have traits in common such as being able to hold their alcohol well, being social drunks, keeping drinking to the evening hours, having "just a few," and daily intake. My mom says she is what's called in AA a "high bottom" drunk...someone whose entire life didn't have to be in the gutter before she was able to realize she needed to change. And yet, she's still an alcoholic--the key point being inability to regulate intake.

I would suggest that if you continue to find that you have problems regulating your intake, it's preferable to quit entirely (even forever) rather than allowing alcohol to continue sabotaging your goals and your life.

Somehow, I was fortunate enough to avoid the clear genetic tendency toward alcoholism that dominates my mom's side of the family. (My sister seems to have avoided it too.) I drink 4 measured ounces of red wine with dinner merely because I want to improve my health and raise my HDL levels--generally I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel. However, I have my own addiction to sugar which is only controllable by complete abstention, so I guess it balances out

Good luck in quitting.

Yes. I do that too. And that's how I know it's not just staying within my calorie count that's gonna make a difference. It's actually choosing the *right* kind of calories, it seems. I can stay within calories every day and still not lose weight, and I think it has to be the booze to blame! (Or at least partly.)

Ah yes. Good point.

First off, congrats!! What a great week or two!! Very exciting!

I really like the tips Parsp suggested above. Really good. I'm going to start trying those for myself!

How delightful! Have a marvelous celebration!

Yeah, I agree with you, Parsp's suggestions are awesome and may just be the fix I've been looking for. Yay!

Congratulations to her! How wonderful!!

Excellent points. I wasn't suggesting that binging and blacking out are what equals alcoholism by any means. I was simply setting the stage for the post: letting everyone know where I am and where I am not. Sorry for the confusion!! I don't want to make it seem like I know all of the "things" that equal alcoholism or any addition, by any means. I was just sharing where I am.

That is fascinating! Very interesting perspective. Thank you. I'd never heard of that and think it's definitely something to think about.

Oh, my! I never said alcohol was sabotaging my life. LOL LOL Oh, no! Ugh, it's so hard on a message board sometimes. I was tracking five days out of the past seven that showed me my weightloss was surely being sabotaged by the drinks. But more than anything, I'm trying to keep what you're describing from happening at all! There's no "continuing to sabotage [my] goals and [my] life" going on here.

I absolutely appreciate and am grateful for your concern. I'm sure, with a (side of the) family of alcoholics in your life, you're sensitive to these issues and I do really appreciate that.

So glad you've avoided that genetic tendency! Must be a relief!

Again, I thank you for your concern and I appreciate your post.

Well, not looking to quit, but I'll accept your "good luck" toward finding a better balance than I've had in this past week. If you'll allow me to apply that luck in that way.

Again, thank you everyone for these great posts.

Parsp has me so inspired to try some good strategies out that I look forward to tomorrow when the "opportunity" comes around and I make a better choice.

That's all any of it is about after all, isn't it? Making better choices. And doing so consistently enough to have a long-term impact.



Thank you, everyone!!!

I'm going to have to run a marathon this week in order to indulge as much as I'd like!!

Ooh! Sounds like a party is ahead!!

I'm loving this "exercising to earn the treat" philosophy. It really will have so many added benefits!!

Hee!

One day down. Followed my own advice last night and purchased only 1 small bottle of wine for the evening. DS's were there and cooked dinner so all I had to do was sit and watch and enjoy. When it came time for dinner I asked for WATER with my meal (yea me!) Glad I found fellow supporters in this journey!

One day down for me too.

Parsp, I'm so glad to be on this journey with you. You've given lots of support and just knowing I need to come back here and be accountable helped a great deal last night, as I headed home from a business meeting and considered pulling into the market to pick up something to eat and a bottle of wine to go with it.

Instead I came home and ate something I had here. No drink.

It was JUST FINE.

Today will be the challenge, but I'm going to commit to "earning" any drink with activity "points." I'm not familiar enough w/ WW or any other program that tabulates what exercise is "worth," but I think I can at least figure out that I have to do SOMETHING more physical than sitting at my desk and working in order to earn a cocktail today.

Wish us all luck!

Yay, us!

I limit myself to either only on friday evening or only on saterday evening ..depending on my hubby's day off ! and the babysitter .... ( sometimes this is friday AND Saterday evening ) LOL I take 2-3 shots of captain morgans with diet coke plus ( since dieting I've found its reduced to one ... don't know whats up with that but my body must be changing ) its a real treat for me because its also the ONLY time I ever drink anything w/caffine in it wooo its saterday whip out the diet coke plus!!!

I don't intend on quitting this pattern unless I see it stunting my weight loss because it doesn't effect me any other way ....

I think for you .. you just have to set your self your special allowed times and make sure that is somewhat limited !

it is much easier for me because the week days consist of motherly /wifely dutys ( my motivation not to drink at night )

jsut think of any excuse why you CANT drink instead of thinking why you CAN have a drink ... it really works for me

this is a big thing for me ... sad to say .. that I use to limit myself .. I justify my drinking times ... like say I tell myself .... I'm gonig to get all the bedroom closets cleaned out and organized today or declutter a whole area completely( friday & saterday also happen to be my time to do cleaning I don't durring the week days ) and then night time I feel this big sigh of relief if I completed it and I can reward myself ... If I don't get it done .. I don't even desire my "friday night drink" because I feel like I didn't "earn" it ..... my drinking would not be justified in my own mind ..

(I never realized how Odd this is untill typing it out and re-reading it )

That's awesome. I wish I had the rigors of a "regular schedule" to help define "work time" and "play time" for me. I mean, I wouldn't trade my erratic schedule and extremely flexible work/life for a more "standard" job, by any means, but it's clear that it would be helpful for the lines to be more clearly drawn, at least when it comes to dealing with "play time" and limits.

You're absolutely right. I need to remember that a "treat" is just that: A TREAT. And that should make it something that happens infrequently enough to be special. (Then I'd bet I'd need to remind myself that just because I'm only drinking once per week (or whatever the treat interval becomes) doesn't mean that one time needs to be a HUGE blow-out, since it's the only chance for whatever number of other days that I'll get to "have at it." *sigh* This all-or-nothing mentality is at the root of so much "control" behavior and probably the weight issues to begin with.)

Anyway! Yes. You're right.

Thank you. Great tips!! Everyone has been so very helpful, here. I love this place!!!

Hey, whatever works, right? If it's helping you reach your goals to have that mindset, then it's "odd" but "essential," probably. I've gotten really good about not judging my little "tricks" for staying on plan or keeping myself aligned with my goals. I realize we ALL have something we do or say to ourselves to keep us on-target. And what works for each of us might not work for the others.

But I love it when I hear/read suggestions here that look like they might work for me. I can try 'em out and see if others' strategies work with mine. That's awesome!!!

Part of what makes this community so dang great.

Everyone, let's have an amazing weekend!