Thanks for everyone's responses. I appreciate the support and am glad to know I am not alone and that I am in the right place.
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Originally Posted by Circebee
What these episodes might really be are your very best attempts to comfort yourself when you need love and hope. It's not YOU that is the problem, it's that your toolbox of self-help techniques is only filled with one tool- FOOD. When all you have is a screwdriver, you use it for every repair, right? So, you may need some help (I found a great eating disfunction therapist, and there are many good books out there) expanding your tool box!
Circebee, you are so wise. I love the analogy of the toolbox and screwdriver. I never thought about it like that. And I think you are right about substituting eating for other things...what's funny is that I have a wonderful and supportive husband and friends that are good listeners and I guess I'm not using them, I am using what ails me as an excuse to eat. It's a knee-jerk reaction, I don't even think about it until the bag of chips is almost gone, or my stomach is so full of pizza that I have to unbutton my pants etc. I also have a good therapist and psychiatrist but I have so much other crap going on that I am working on that the eating goes on the back burner! I know if I say that I want to work on it that they will say that I need to work on the underlying things that make me eat, and I guess that makes sense. I am just impatient. I took your suggestion and ordered a few books off Amazon: "Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters" (a Hazelden book) and "The Thin Books: Daily Strategies & Meditations for Fat-Free, Guilt-Free, Binge-Free Living". I like the daily affirmation/meditation books, I have one for another problem.
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Originally Posted by fabat45
i too, have eaten the bag of chips, cookies, candy bars on the way home from the store and then stuffed the bag way down the trash can. and then think to myself " who does this?" Has any one else ever had the thought of "why cant i be like everyone else that i know that can eat a normal amount of food and be satisfied. i hope you find comfort in this forum, reading other people's struggles and success's is really a great thing.
I am sorry that you go through this too, but I am glad to see someone else with such crazy habits. I feel so insane! That is exactly how I was thinking (Who does this?)...and in the past, when I get a bag of chips and want to throw it in the trash, I have had to crush the bag so that I won't dig it out of the trash and eat it!!! Crazy. I feel like such a pig. I wonder why I can't be like other people, too. I think it will help visiting this forum, I've found other forums on this site tremendously helpful. Thanks.
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Originally Posted by Serena C
It seems like my arms and hands aren't connected to my brain as they rummage through the fridge and shovel the food in.
Oh yes, this is how I feel. Sometimes my brain will kick in and ask me what the **** I am doing but my sick side tells the healthy side to kiss off and continues to eat regardless. Usually I don't realize what has happened until I am almost done eating, or done eating.
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Originally Posted by yoyodieterinvegas
Your "occasional" purging worries me. Can you discuss this with the Dr. or Therapist who perscribed the psychiatric meds? When I first came here everyone repeated over and over plan, plan, plan. And those buffets? Honey, I live in the buffet capital of the world here. Don't try to be perfect and don't try to change all your unhealthy behaviors all at once. Take one step at a time, one day at a time. Revel in even the smallest of victories and brush off the setbacks like a gnat.
Yoyo--- I'm glad I don't have a sweet tooth, but I guess a salty tooth is just as bad. I can totally picture myself eating a cake and then buying another one to eat just one piece...I would probably do that too (except with something salty or cheesy). I should bring up the purging with my docs, maybe if they know I am doing that they will bring that issue to the front burner. Unfortunately, I am bipolar, so the meds are here to stay.
I never thought about purging affecting my meds but it's something to consider. I've GOT to find a healthier way to deal with this, and I hate to exercise so it's gotta be something else. I think I will try going for a walk. I also saw a thread on here that is cyberbinging...it seems like a good idea to post what I want to eat and how many calories...I think that might make me think more about it. re: planning...the funny thing is that I take great care in planning out healthy menus every week, I balance out calories and fiber and fat and everything and I pick interesting things to eat. It just all goes out the window when I am hungry or lazy or emotional. I have a gmail calendar that I use a lot for planning...I put my meal plans in that along with other things, kind of like what you do with your calendar. And I use Fitday too, although I haven't used it in about 3 weeks because I am too ashamed of how I've been eating.
re: LV buffets...oh man, I know you live in buffet ****...that must be so tempting. I live in San Diego and there are about 6 casinos within an hour and they all have buffets. We only go to one casino's buffet and I am sure that I could get something semi-healthy but my mind goes into addict mode when I am there, so I just have to stay away, I think. I made a New Year's resolution to not go to buffets this year...we'll see if I can keep it up. Thanks for your support and you AREN'T a windbag...you said very helpful things!
I don't know how I got here (a binger), I used to be a "normal" eater. I was a healthy weight. But I wasn't healthy in other areas of my life, I guess the dysfunction just transferred to eating issues. I think I am making progress on the issues that affect me but I have a long way to go, as you can see. It truly helps to know I am not alone and I can post on here and maybe someone can relate to what's going on. I think about food constantly--- planning for the week, making a grocery list, daily I look forward to dinner, I search out recipes, etc. It's sick that I am so in love with food.
Thanks, everyone. Now who's the windbag?