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Weekly Chat April17-23/06

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Old 04-17-2006, 10:16 AM   #1
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Default Weekly Chat April17-23/06

Putting the coffee on.......be back in a bit
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Old 04-17-2006, 10:51 AM   #2
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We had a very nice easter dinner yesterday with the family. I gained 8lbs yesterday I hate when that happens!

Im going to buckle down and get busy getting this weight off. Like I mentioned the other day, Im to a point where its now or never. It absolutely has to come off....Ive had enough! I am so sick and tired of being on a diet, way of eating, whatever you want to call it....Im sick and tired of it! I want to be a normal weight, and I want to eat like a normal person!

So my new journey begins today.....to Normaldom!
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Old 04-17-2006, 11:04 AM   #3
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I had a nice Easter too. Not OP but not off the hook either. It was nice that my Easter outfit (something I hadn't worn in several months) was significantly looser than the last time I wore it.

I love Robin that you mentioned normalacy. That is a pretty illusive thing for me. I think the best I can hope for is to make peace with my relationship with food. I have no idea what normal is? My DF has been the same weight for 30 years and doesn't seem to care about food one way or the other. Is that normal? I have no idea!
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Old 04-17-2006, 11:52 AM   #4
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Robin, I don't think it is going to work that way honey. For those of us who have been very obese, we'll never be able to eat like "normal" people because we don't know what normal is. Normal is different for differnt people too.

I've noticed with my husband who is thin as a rail and has a high metabolism to go along with it, he can eat or skip meals and it doesn't seem to matter. He never gains. Most mornings he doesn't eat breakfast, but he drinks this coffee loaded with sugar and creamer. Then for lunch he may eat a big meal or he may skip it. Or he may eat an average size meal. At dinner he never takes seconds, but he always has a full plate. If he doesn't feel like eating he just won't, but at other times he has to eat NOW. He doesn't eat sweets much though (unless you count that horrible coffee).

I know I couldn't eat like he does and be as thin as he is. My metabolism just isn't the same, I love my sweets and I have any number of times wanted a second helping. I don't much eat breakfast either, but I'm not sure that is a good thing, I think with my metabolism it would probably help.

No. I don't think normal is normal. There isn't any normal. All of us are programmed a little differently and what works for one doesn't always work for someone else.

I can understand your frustration and your desire to be there, but this has to be a lifelong journey. It has to be something you can live with and something you think you can do forever. I'm not saying you have to eat at 20 grams or less forever, but for this to work, you have to accept that there is no going back.

The going back will lead to what happened to me where you get to a nice reasonably low number (like where you are at) and then you start gaining until you have most of it gained back. I was at about 222 to 225 or so kind of fluxuating around that point for a long time feeling like you are and then I just got sick of the whole process. Started eating whatever I wanted because "I wasn't losing any way" and gained back up to 268.5 which is where I found myself last December. You don't want to go there.

We have to learn to love ourselves where we are. We have to celebrate EVERY success. And sometimes the only successes we have to celebrate are the losses we've already made and our ability to maintain those losses!

When I was at my lowest, I kept being unhappy and complaining that I couldn't lose any more. Maybe my body needed a rest, maybe I needed to see some progress I wasn't seeing, maybe I needed to buckle down harder or maybe my body had just reached a plateau and it wasn't budging from there.

But people said some things to me then that hurt, that made me feel like they were assuming that I "cheated" too much or wasn't following the plan correctly. Maybe they were trying to be helpful, but it was really hurtful to me and it made me very discouraged. Made me feel like I was never going to be "perfect enough" to lose the weight I wanted to lose. And I just got so sick of feeling like I had to be "perfect" to do it all. I knew I could never be perfect. I think that kind of thinking made me give up.

It wasn't the diet, it wasn't the WOL or the effort to eat right that was discouraging me, it was the lack of progress and the beating of myself up all the time. I got tired of working so hard and still hating myself for not being able to accomplish what I wanted.

You know what? This isn't a race. It doesn't have to happen today or tomorrow. It doesn't have to happen this year (although we would all like that). And there is no failure in continuing to do our best. We have to learn to love ourselves right where we are, in the skin we are standing in. And we have to do this weight loss thing in a way we can handle for the long term. If we can't see ourselves living this way for the rest of our lives, then we are kidding ourselves. We will gain it back unless we are determined not to go back to old habits.

Try and relax. I know you want it now. I do too. But love yourself. Celebrate your successes and realize that you may never be "normal" like you imagine others are. They aren't normal either. Each person must find their own normal.
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Old 04-17-2006, 12:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Try and relax. I know you want it now. I do too. But love yourself. Celebrate your successes and realize that you may never be "normal" like you imagine others are. They aren't normal either. Each person must find their own normal.
What is normal to you and what is normal to me are 2 completely different things....that much is obvious. Telling me to relax will not solve my problems. Relaxing is what got me in this situation...and YES it has to happen now. You know this or you wouldnt be fasting the way you have been. I have come a very long way in my weightloss journey, and Im not about to give it up now. I was "normal" once....but **** happens and life gets in the way....new habits are formed, and learned....I need to get back to my "normal" self. So yes......I can say I want to be normal again, and I will be. With or without support from anyone else!
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Old 04-17-2006, 12:54 PM   #6
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Robin it sounds like I have upset you and if so I apologize. I meant relax emotionally, not with the diet. You just sounded like I did when I got so disgusted with the process that I gave up, and I didn't want that to happen to you. I was trying to be supportive, not to hurt you at all. Please forgive me if I said something that bothered you.
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Old 04-17-2006, 02:30 PM   #7
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Morning! Actually afternoon.
I have to say I really feel like Robin about getting this weight off now, already. I was looking at exercise stuff and found a statement that exercising before you eat is more beneficial for fat loss, alot more. I figure I'll give it a shot. exercise can only help anyway. So it is after 2 and i just ate breakfast. Yeah it was a busy morning. we have an acre out in the country and it is beautifull. I mowed (with a push mower) half of it this morning; kind of broke something off the lawnmower so dh will have to look at it later.
I applaud everyone with the courage to weigh this morning. I had a delightfull Easter meal. A couple of times yesterday. So today it is time to buckle down and get things done. I'll weigh in on Friday. My birthday is basically in 2 weeks and I had so wanted to be in shape for it, but I am going to concentrate on the first day of summer (June 21st) to be at or near goal(size 8). And that is 21 pounds in a little over 2 months so very doable (2 sizes). Anyway I have already found keotsis again and plan to stay there.
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Old 04-17-2006, 02:31 PM   #8
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I know this is hard. You are both wonderful people and I'm glad we have this forum to talk in

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Old 04-17-2006, 04:40 PM   #9
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I was trying to be supportive, not to hurt you at all.
Thanks for that Sherry, but it wasnt how I read it. I understand that you meant well, and Im sure in a different frame of mind I would have taken it for how you meant it. But relaxing is not something I can do right now, its not an option. If anything I have to tighten everything up and not let anything relax....otherwise Im not going to get to where I need to be. my "Normal" So, its all good, thanks

Ciarra, our goal dates are very close, mine is June 27th. The last day of my dd's school, and the beginning of summer vacation. We can do this!!

Lacey

Made it to the gym with my new gym buddy. She is too funny...doesnt like having too many men around here either!! It's going to be nice to have someone to go with and keep each other motivated.

Well, I took too much time off this afternoon at the gym and Im behind on some of our work....so Im off. Have a nice evening ladies.
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Old 04-17-2006, 05:02 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinW
I was "normal" once....but **** happens and life gets in the way....new habits are formed, and learned....I need to get back to my "normal" self. So yes......I can say I want to be normal again, and I will be. With or without support from anyone else!
I agree with you Robin, I was "normal" once, had some major crud happen in my life, and poof.... all those bad habbits I fought for 10+ years and never gave them a 2nd though came back. It wasn't over night but boy is sure feels like it was.

I need to get this weight off NOW too. I need to change.

Good luck ladies in your journey.... I'm behind you all the way
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Old 04-17-2006, 08:06 PM   #11
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Hi ladies. Just poping in to say hi and that I am still alive. I will be MIA for the next couple of days, but promice to catch up and catch you all up. -Sandra
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Old 04-18-2006, 08:33 AM   #12
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I'll be popping in and out throughout the next week. No need to worry. DH is off from work (vacation) so we'll be doing fishing and other stuff I'm back on induction and thinking of doing the fat fast. I don't drop the weight like Sherry did on it---but if I can drop a few pounds or get the metabolism jump started to even drop a pound I'll be happy. Time to run
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Old 04-18-2006, 08:46 AM   #13
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Hi sweeties!! Thought I'd jump in and see how everyone is doing
Have a great day!!

Brenda, hope you have a blast spending time with your dh!!
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Old 04-18-2006, 09:10 AM   #14
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Hey ladies. Well I'm finally back online again after 5 days of pure chaos. My kids went to their grandmas for 5 days and I had a thousand things to get done while they were gone and still work nights. So obviously I'm exhausted. But I think we'll be back in our routine starting today...thank goodness.

Brenda - have fun with dh. Fishing sounds fun...especially this time of year when its not too hot yet.

to everyone else too. I'll never get caught up on all of the posts I missed, but I am trying to read some of them.
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Old 04-18-2006, 09:14 AM   #15
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Good Morning

Brenda~ have fun with your hubby! I love having mine all to myself too.

Well, 4 of the 8 "easter" lbs are gone *whew* I even feel better today! Im moving in the right direction.

Have a workout planned at the gym, and some yardwork. I have a flowering almond I have to get planted. Of course I decided I want to put it right where I have beautiful bunch of daffy's blooming. I should be able to move them without too much trama....I hope

Have a great day ladies, and thanks
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