The Godfather appear - yes it was Marlon Brando, shuffling in with his pants undone and his fly open - but nevertheless it was him...in the flesh - and there was a lot of it!
Oprah had an idea - what if we put Marlon/The Godfather on Atkin and show everyone how it's done and how we can return Marlon Brando to his previous studmuffin status.
Carborina and Lenda looked doubtful - would it be possible to morph this pudgy guy into something hunkable? Well maybe, but first we should definitely call.....
Richard Simmons, we need someone who can get this guy exercising, but not just anyone we need someone experienced with BIG people. Carby made a phone call and told Richard of their plans for Oprah and Marlon, Richard was elated to help. He packed up his tank tops and silky shorts and was on his way to Chicago......
.....where upon arriving Carby and Lenda were horrified to see the man before them. There was Richard Simmons, still in the same tank tops, still in the same silky shorts but with a WHOPPING HUGE BEER GUT!!!! It would seem that Richard, devastated by how he had so easily faded into the scenery so many times in his life had taken to drinking beer. And not just any beer, regular carbohydrate loaded beer. In fact, he had a beer in his hand when he got off the plane, his tank top was hanging a little to the left exposing one man boob and he had his other hand down the back of his silky little shorts doing God knows what.
Carby and Lenda looked at each other and...
quickly calculated that a chest and back waxing was not only definitely in order, but could possible shave up to 2.06 pounds off his now-bloated frame. Plugging their ears with some wax to help deafen his childish screams, they worked through the night, attempting to complete the first step in their plan to restore the aging exercise icon to a semblance of his former self.
The next morning, after finding Richard huddled in the bathroom over a box of honey glazed Krispy Kremes, the girls realized this was too monumental a task even for their combined efforts. Someone else would have to be recruited for the job. But who? They quickly came to the realization that there was really only one person with the know-how to help. Only one person with the sheer determination, knowledge, and power to pull this one off. So, out of desperation, they called......
Jane Fonda - the next best thing to Richard Simmons. As a former aerobics exercise queen they figured that she must be able to do something - either about Richard, Marlon or Oprah!
Jane answered and listened to Carby and Lenda's predicament - hmmm she pondered, now where did I put my striped leotard and matching leg warmers? and do they still fit? Up to the attic she went to find her gear...unfortunately on the way down she slipped and broke her hip (too bad she was not taking her calcium supplements regularly) and was now out of commission.
The girls sent her flowers and were getting very discouraged...Oprah was harassing them about the show....Marlon was licking melted butter off his fingers....and Richard was trying to get him to rub it over his newly shaven chest - not a pretty picture to say the least.
Take over themselves, they quized each of the 3 on all of the points of Atkins and started teaching them to count carbs and do their daily food log, then the key point for sure.....each got an account on 3fatchicks.com, daily they started posting their food logs for everyone to see and they noticed that with the support of the people on the message boards it wasn't as hard as they thought......all the sudden the 3 of them noticed that low and behold they were loosing weight!!! Not to mention they felt so energetic and happy. They just felt GOOD!!!! SO GOOD that they felt like exercising!!! They all got memberships to Bally's total fitness and they would work out there at least 3 times a week. The were beeming and beautiful!!!!
Carby and Lenda by this time with the financial help of all 3 of these people had opened up a full size LOw carb resturaunt/ store and plus & regular size clothing store all in one for all walks of life!!! They felt so great looking at their 3 little students that they asked all 3 of them to be spokesmodels for their new store, they all agreed and were eager to help.
everyone else jumped on the bandwagon - not only had Subway introduced more Atkin wraps and snacks, but so did McDonald's, Burger King, Red Lobster and othe rmainstream restaurants....poor Carby and lenda were forced to declare bankruptcy.
They were left with some old Atkins bars (stock from the store), a few xxl pairs of sweatpants, and some used Richard Simmons tapes......feeling dejected they went to the airport and decided to......
go to South America for vacation, they still had a little money left and they were going to burn it away!!
After flying into the biggest airport in the middle of South America they just got a car and drove for days. FINALLY they found an oasis, a beautiful little city of cabanas right on the beach. They checked in!!
When they checked in they found out that their american dollars were worth 4 times more in South America than in the US, they were still rich!!! They partied!! WHOOOOOHOOOO. Then they found out what this little town was all about.....it was made by women for women!! Each cabana had your very own RED HOT CABANA BOY!!!! yippeeeee He did all of your washing and fetching, all were certified in massage and aromatherapy, and were bartenders too so that they knew just the right drinks to make. They also were personal assisstants to do all of your work for you too so you could party and make money, they also were personal sylists and cheuffers. And They had certified nannies and teachers for the chicks with kids!!!
Heaven on earth!!! Plus remember the cabana boys were RED HOT too (if you know what I mean!!)
Oh my goodness we will have to live here for life.......
this is pure heaven. Lenda had an idea. While Richard was on the 3fatchicks site one day, she remembers looking over his shoulder and seeing a recipe posted about homemade protien bars. She remembers what great responses it had from others posting and how delicious they sounded. "Carby" she screamed "there is still hope for our fame and fortune yet!"
She whispered in Carbys ear explaining all the details. Carby jumped up and down excitedly. "Yes! this will work!" The women quickly called over one of the cabana boys and....
They send Carby's Red Hot Cabana Boy on a mission to gather ingredients!! NO better place to make the bars than right here...no spys and everyone thinks we are done for so we will have plenty of privacy!!!
The sweaty red hot caban boy reaturns tired from his efforts but he has all the ingredients they need and they are off to work. Lenda notices though that things are sweet enough for the bar she has a splendid idea......
Meanwhile,
Carby tells her Cabana boy "why don't you take a swim and cool off when we are done I will......
let you rub me with oil...and sample my new protein bars - guaranteed to put more muscle definition on the already RED HOT cabana boys.....however little did Carby and Lenda know that while out searching for the ingredients - the little spy of a cabana boy copied the recipe and had already sold the patented recipe to none other than.....
Martha Stewart, she was looking for fast money and a new business because she has soooo many legal fees now! The red hot cabana boy got a handsome sum for his deal with Martha and Martha got.......
What she deserved... since the RED HOT cabana boy failed to convert the recipe from metric to standard correctly so the protein bars that Martha made were definitely NOT a good thing. They were downright nasty - so the girls were still in business.
The RED HOT cabana boy may be really HOT looking, but he was a little short on the intelligence area because he got caught and then fired - so he may be really rich from Martha's money, but he was OUT as far as tending to the ladies. Poor Sap - he decided to seek his fortune elsewhere in the world while Carby and Lenda plotted their futures as low-carb protein bar mavens.
They were working on their new flavors when the phone rang....
"Can we talk?"....why it was none other than the famous Joan Rivers - she had heard about the soon to be released protein bars (seems her new pool boy had a distinct south american accent and had a great dislike for carbohydrates)....and wanted in on the deal.
Carby and Lenda were not sure what to make of this? What could Joan Rivers to for them in return they pondered?????.......................
