Her best friend Lenda. Lenda was a sweet gal. and had known Carborina for years, through thick and thin. She had helped Carby achieve the body she now had. Lenda herself was known for her low-carb culinary creations. And, her favorite color was yellow.
how she thought she should get the store going. Lenda was splendidly surprised to hear that someone would have the guts to openly admit that Atkins was the way to eat. So she volunteered to pitch in and help get the store going. The first thing they both did was....
buy some tiaras. Carborina and Lenda both believed very strongly that they were princesses and that all the women who would be visiting their store would be princesses, too. Best to have a good supply on hand.
After the princess-wear had been purchased, the pair got to work on...
... ordering all of the supplies for the Ultra Low-Carb Paradise store. The process went fairly quickly as everyone was ultra-eager for a low-carb establishment such as theirs to come into existence. In fact, in the last election the President had been elected by a huge margin and it was thought his pro-Atkins platform had been his ticket into the White House.
After the store items were all efficiently ordered, Carborina and Lenda headed to the day spa for their royal treatment. Both girls started with a mud mask and it wasn't long after the mud had been applied that another woman (who smelled slightly of lemon chiffon mixed with cinnamon) was shown into the room. As the technician began applying a mud mask to this new woman (who smelled slightly odd), the woman began to rant and rave about...
the taxi driver that cut her off on the way over here making her bite into the lemon filled powered doughnut a disaster. Lenda could not keep her giggles under control, the more this women ranted and raved the harder she would laugh. The women got up being very irritated with this, peeled the cucumbers off her eyes and...
jumped up, shouting "Girlfriends, I'm about to stick these cucumbers where the sun don't shine!" Carborina and Lenda stood gaping at the spectacle before them. There, standing only a sweet Italian sausages length away from them, mud dripping from her chin, cucumber seeds glistening on her cheeks, stood the CEO of Harpo Productions, Oprah herself. The cucumber seeds could have been the seeds of inspiration themselves, because Lenda and Carborina turned and looked at each other, both realizing what this moment meant for them and their plans. They turned to Oprah and said....
"Can we be on your show to talk about our new Atkins store?" Oprah, surprised, looked at them and said "What in the world is so great about Atkins. I heard that was bad for you." Carborina and Lenda looked at each other and grinned. They then ushered Oprah to sit down, relax and listen to what they had to say. By the time they were done Oprah had a gleam in her eye and a plan. She decided that she herself would try Atkins so that....
she could become slim and gorgeous enuf to have the guts to pull off a Janet Jackson bares all stunt at next year's superbowl....how exciting would that be?
Oprah was just filled with ideas and while the ladies chatted they did not notice the other mud slathered face next to them - listening carefully and speaking discreetly into her palm sized tape recorder....why who could that be??? Well it was none other than...
It wasn't a her it was a HIM!! It was Dr. Phil in disguise and he was riding on Oprah's coat tails again, trying to listen to the ladies conversation. Oprah descretely recognised her stalker and told the ladies she would meet them at a top secret location to discuss their further plans and her plans to financially back the girls if they could help her loose 20 pounds in 1 month. She whispered the location in Carby's ear she said......
When the swallow flies north at midnight, meet me at the intersection of East West Street, and West North Boulevard. There I will reveal my diabolical plan to take over the world... I will from this moment on be known as "Brain" while you, my dearies, will be known as Pinky and Tall Man.
But seriously, after they all got over their good laugh, they decided to meet at Oprah's favorite coffee shop.
...what her ultimate goal weight would be. Carborina and Lenda presented Oprah with her very own copy of the Atkins book and told her that alll she needed to know was inside. Oprah began reading immediately turning the pages, her mouth salivating at the thought of how good being thin would feel.
What the ladies did not know, as Oprah sat reading the book was that Dr. Phil, having ridden on Oprah's coattails for so long knew exactly where their meeting would be held and was in fact only a few feet away from them, hiding behind a newspaper!!!! He could hardly keep his excitement to himself and he chuckled and chortled behind his paper, plotting....
the downfall of Oprah's Atkins start. He figured if she started on Atkins then all his fame and glory would be thrown out the window. So the more he listened the more he resolved to get rid of the 2 girls. After all, if making sure Oprah fails the Atkins plan and the other 2 girls aren't around to help, he can be there to help Oprah pick up the pieces. So he left and went....
However, while crossing the street, Dr. Phil was decapitated by his own book that someone had thrown out of the window of their car. It was a terrible mess and quite a tragedy for many people.
When Carborina, Lenda, and Oprah heard the news....
They were startled and amused at the same time...it all seemed so ironic. They started Oprah on her new way of eating, they explained to Oprah that Atkins is not a diet that it is a way of life and she was about to change her life and her way of eating for life and she would feel great.
Meanwhile Stedman happy in his fortune he had from Oprah was at his downtown apartment sleeping with his skinny girlfriend on the side. They happened to catch the commercial for Oprah's new show and it talked about her new found weight loss plans. Stedman was horrified, he threw his chick outta the bed and ran to get his clothes on "if she looses weight then I am done for, she will look for something better and dump me off the gravy train" He ran out the door "BUT Stedman wait you forgot......"
"Your pants.... and my lipstick, on your collar. Oprah will be furious if she finds out about me!!"
Stedman ran on, the warning unheeded, but never made it to the studio which is where Oprah and "the girls" were setting things up for the show. He mysteriously disappeared and was never heard from again. The skinny girlfriend was heartbroken.
Back at the studio, Oprah got a mysterious phone call telling her that "it was taken care of..."
The girls were a little taken aback to accidentally discover that Oprah was actually the kingpin of the Chicago Mafia. They were suddenly a little nervous... and as they looked around over their shoulders, they saw...
