but also kind of crazy scared. It's day 6 since I cut out sugar and simple carbs(bread, pasta, etc.) and I have no binged once or even gone over calories a little bit.
I've had some cravings here and there but they are absolutely not at all what they used to be like. I could write a really long post about feeling completely trapped by food but I won't. Right now I feel like I'm having the most normal relationship with food that I've ever had. I eat healthy meals when I'm hungry, I'm not hungry in-between meals, I'm not worrying about calories all the time. I might see some food I shouldn't have and acknowledge that I'd like to eat it, but then I realize I don't want it. I'm full, and I'm losing weight and that the food I'm looking at isn't all it's cracked up to be.
However, I'm terrified that this won't last. I keep reading things about ketosis and stuff. Right now I'm eating right around 60gs of carbs a day, all from veggies and a small portion from fruits and dairy.
I've been a binge eater for years now, on and off calorie counting and Weight Watchers, wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I don't believe at all that my binging was emotional. It's almost always my body reacting very strongly to cravings, beyond what I consider controllable. People say it's always your choice, but I have been addicted to cigarettes before and I'd say the two cravings were comparable for me. So strong that I'd often give in, almost against my will, because I couldn't handle the pressure of being stretched except that with cigarettes the craving went away. On calorie counting I always felt stretched, even after months, like a rubber band being pulled all the time.
Anyways, I'm finally feeling so happy in my body. Food isn't controlling me. I'm thinking a lot about my new lifestyle, but not the way I used to think about calorie counting. Calorie counting used to be like pulling teeth because I was eating food that left me ravenous an hour or two after eating. I'm looking forward to this semester of low carb eating. I'm not worried about falling off the wagon everyday. I'm not worried that my busy schedule will interfere because I know I can go 4+ hours without feeling hungry.
It's insane. I'm sorry this post is so long. I just wanted to tell you all that I'm happy and scared to be doing this but so far the benefits have been just amazing. I'm not 100% sure if I want to be in ketosis or if I'll have to drop my carbs to 50gs a day but I feel like it's completely do-able and I also feel like low carb is something I could do forever. I was always ashamed that I didn't find calorie counting to be that way, or Weight Watchers, when they were supposed to be so manageable! I never could do either more than a few months at a time.
Anyways, hallelujah everyone! I might just have found the best way of eating for me.