Originally Posted by dietcokehead98
....but I'm bumming and I can't help it!!!!!!
Yes, you can help it. For that matter, only you can help it.
It's entirely normal to feel this way, but you can do something about it. If you believe that your thoughts and feelings are outside your own control, then they always will be. If you realize that your emotions and thoughts are like horses, and you have the reigns, you will be more able to change the course of them.
Do you want to control your emotions, or do you want your emotions to control you?
I strongly believe that more weight loss attempts are abandoned because of disappointment and frustration than because of actual failure (I'm losing, but I want to lose more, and if I can't what's the point?).
Comparing yourself to someone who is losing faster is going to increase those negative feelings. If you make weight loss unpleasant enough for yourself, you're going to give up.
Men do tend to lose weight faster, though it's not always true - When hubby and I were going to TOPS together, I often lost more than he did, and he'd get frustrated because he knew that men were supposed to lose faster than women. That he wasn't losing faster than every woman in the group really bummed him out. It wasn't the only factor, but I think it was part of the reason he quit and persuaded me to quit with him, because "we can do it at home."
It only illustrates that anyone (even men) who believe they "should be doing better, but can't," can go down that frustration path that leads to giving up entirely rather than coming to terms with what they are able to do.
It's easy to fall into the "it's so unfair" mindset, but while it's normal, it's also counterproductive, so you've got to find ways to get out of that trap. Anything you can do to stay out of that mindset (or give yourself permission to be in it for only a very limited time period) will help you in the long run.
I am not saying that you're wrong to feel this way. I'm just saying that you can choose to feel differently - with practice. Only you can tell if you're reaching a point in which your negative thoughts and emotions are interfering with your ability to suceed, but be aware of the possibility so that you can recognize it and choose not to go down that path.