It's been over a week since I'd visited the forum and, of course, had to read up on the latest happenings in your journal.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with those guys. I'm glad you played it safe and are okay.♥ I have read posts by numerous women who said that it was very uncomfortable or scary (and some even said insulting) to go from being rarely noticed by guys to begin receiving a lot of attention after losing weight. I think women like us are in a unique situation. Women who spend most, if not all, of their lives at a normal weight have spent years around men and have mostly figured out how to handle men in various situations. However, women like us who have been overweight as well as sheltered well, we haven't. This is all new territory for us and not just in regards to men. I guess we should look at it as we do our weight loss... One day at a time. Or one situation at a time if need be. Essentially this is an all new us in a brand new world. With the help of others in the same situation we can do this too.
The pictures you posted were so great! You look fantastic!!! I hope you're very proud of your hard work!
Last edited by Jesslan Rose; 10-05-2015 at 10:24 PM.
Jess thank you for your post and omigosh you're so freakin' close to Onederland, way to go! I wholeheartedly agree with you, what you said, for me it was scary NOT flattering because these were men in a vehicle and I'm ashamed to admit I've seen too many episodes of Law and Order, so I felt threatened. There is a time and place, and a stranger woman exercising alone on a walk when you're in a truck isn't it.
I do wish there was some sort of group for people who've been "invisible" most of their lives dealing with being noticed for the first time. I remember years ago I had one of those women magazines like First for Women or Woman's World and they did an article on a woman who'd had gastric bypass and she said so many awesome insightful things, one of them being that when she was 400+ lbs she was a flirt because it was safe, but at the time of the article she was about 250 lbs and guys now took her flirting jokes seriously. Or how some people are nicer to you when you're heavier because you're seen as not a threat or so-called competition, but when you near their size or get smaller it changes. I hate to say I feel my weight loss has caused the loss and strain in some friendships.
Last edited by Candidcamster; 10-05-2015 at 11:44 PM.
CandidCamster on being down 105 Lbs! It must feel awesome. Keep Up the Great Job! Thanks for the encourgement on the binge eating. I'm still struggling to get back to Onderland. I have been having alot of eating events going on lately. But hope to be back to Onderland by next week sometime.
Candidcamster, you are super close to Onederland, also! Congrats! You will be there before you know it, and I have a feeling you won't need any breadcrumbs from me, haha. You will have to start a new thread soon. Way to go!
Thank you so much VickieLou and LesGetFit! I am sorry I am behind, I haven't been feeling super great over the past couple of days, here's hoping tomorrow is better.
I had a mini binge on the 7th, but I could have binged worse than it was, my food journal was slightly exaggerated (this is going to sound bad, but if I am planning to overeat a certain food, I will add it, in the end I didn't have the sandwich that I tracked, so I need to go remove that).
My lowest weight so far was 210.6/210.4 (depending on which scale I choose to believe) but right now I am going through PMS right now, so I guess my weight won't "settle" until near the end of the month.
My log for October 6th,
Weigh in - ? I can't remember but I do believe it was clothed and slightly higher (see weigh in on the 7th)
Calories for the day - 1,888
Exercise - None
My log for October 7th,
Weigh in - 213.6 (with clothes on, but my clothes didn't weigh as much as 2 lbs. so I consider this a gain)
Calories for the day - 3,199
Exercise - None
My log for October 8th,
Weigh in - 215 (believe it or not, I am not freaking out, I had binged the night before, weighed myself after eating and with clothes on lol)
Calories for the day - 1,626
Exercise - None
Last edited by Candidcamster; 10-09-2015 at 04:55 AM.
Behind a couple of days, going through pms and I binged hardcore tonight 10/10, got my bday dinner out of the way with 2 veggie breakfast tacos, pancake with syrup and butter and lots more. Realized I'm kinda over Chick Fil A's egg and cheese biscuit sandwiches, that was good and while I love So Delicious brand ice cream bars their cookie dough isn't the greatest...for my bday I'm taking a break from the scale until Friday.
Last edited by Candidcamster; 10-11-2015 at 03:28 AM.
Thank you so much LesGetFit , it has been a crazy week for me. I have been off-track for the past week nearly, wait that isn't true! I just looked and it was 3 days. That is not good, but sometimes I notice I will exaggerate how badly I've done to allow myself to do worse, NO, not today sister! lol I am going through PMS right now, which alone makes me heavier on the scale, but to add insult to injury yes, I've been binging over the the past few days. The combination has jumped my weight up from 210.6 lbs. (91 lbs. down) to 217 lbs. as of today. What was supposed to be just 1 day of poor eating choices, has become "I'm going to have a birthday WEEK of poor eating!", beyond my body not being where it could be aesthetically, more importantly the food choices I've made are anti-health and ultimately anti-me. I won't "binge" tomorrow, but I will not be "perfect" by any stretch of the imagination, however today isn't my b-day so yeah I am back on track today. Today 10/13 also marks 20 months on my healthier-lifestyle journey, woohoo! I will make good choices today however, and from the 15th of October on...So stay tuned.
NSVs -
Lately the compliments have been coming, this lady whom I adore at Sephora, last night she was telling me how much I inspired her to join Jenny Craig, that meant so much to me. I don't even think of her as overweight because of how she carries her weight, but ironically she's heavier than me, which shocked me. Sending her positive vibes on her journey.
A couple of days ago (I can't recall which day) I visited a Torrid store for the first time in months, in search of a bra that fits. My former bra was a 46D and there was a lot of gapping in the cup and looseness in the band, well I tried on a handful of bras, and the one that fit the best was a 42DDD (my breasts have shrank with weight loss, however this is my new cup-size in relation to my new band size). If you shop at Torrid, you're probably aware that their prices can be a little steep, but I ended up paying a mere $2 and some change for this due to some coupons that were attached to my membership account *woohoo*!!
Also at Torrid, I've been averse to plus-size clothing at least for the past 5 months, and so for me to try on their clothes was a big deal, but I did it and I so happy I did. I tried a pair of skinny jeans in a 12 and they FIT!! OMG seriously? They fit me similar to a Juniors 15 or a tight 17, so while it isn't the same as a straight size 12, it still means so much to me that I can fit into Torrid's smallest pants, coming from fitting into their largest sizes (26/28). I also put on a size 0 denim jacket and got it to button! Um to be clear I looked like a stuffed sausage, but just getting a denim jacket to button meant a lot.
I am sure there are more, but I'll get to it in another message. Another good thing, I hate being lectured about my eating, I try not to do it to others, and I hate when people wag their finger at me because it will sometimes make me want to overeat. That said, a MFP friend commented on my post about waiting until the day after my birthday to clean up my eating, saying for me to do it today, and wow did I need to hear that! I needed that! She wasn't harsh she was just real, and I needed that, because I would hate to get back up to the 220's, which was another lie I told myself "I probably weigh 220-something" to help keep me down, and eating gluttonous amounts of food. Today I'm back, tomorrow, um probably not so much, and then back on track for the rest of this month if I have anything to say about it .
Last edited by Candidcamster; 10-13-2015 at 03:07 PM.
I feel you on the PMS, for sure. My TOM started today and I have already eaten more junk today than I have in the last two weeks haha. Even with my small dinner, I will barely be under my calories for the day. Why does our cycle have to do this? Haha. Plus I'm up with water weight because of TOM, and I want to get to Onederland. Ugh the struggle is real.
But we will do it! And I hope your birthday was wonderful and TASTY!
Thank you Vickie & Les, tonight I am heading out to dinner w/my mom, it has been a great day so far super thankful. I have been eating "light" but plan to eat extremely heavy tonight, not so bad that I'll need a stomach pump, but enough where the thought will cross my mind lol. I'll post later, and tomorrow I will be back on my game. Yesterday I did clean it up, and lost 2 lbs. of water weight overnight after consuming 1900+ calories (my body was so used to 3,000+ and up, that the little decrease must have shook me up). My weight went up to 217 yesterday, and down to 215 today, not weighing in again until Friday, and plan to finish out this month from the 15th on with purpose. I'd like to put in a real effort of either reaching Onederland or being super close, under 205 I hope. Stay tuned, and thank you to everyone for the comments & posts, they are super motivating to me. <3
Hi everyone, this is just a quick check in, I pigged out super hard for my bday on the 14th, cleaned it up the next day on. My next planned indulgence will be on Halloween I want to finally try my Snickerdoodle Cashew Milk Ice Cream by So Delicious, but in the meantime the goal is to stay on track, I lost 1.6 overnight going from 216.6 yesterday to 215 today, hoping to get the PMS whoosh soon along with good eating habits. I'd love to end this month at my lowest of 210.6 we'll see. My calories over the past couple of days have been in the early 1,800's. My goal for the next 2 weeks is 1600-1800 calories a day not exceeding 1,999, I'm going to give it my 100, ttys!
Hi everyone, the past 2 days (the 17th & 18th) have been awful as far as my journey goes. I came in at 215 nude on the 17th which is 4.4 lbs. over my lowest but I considered it a victory considering my weight was nearing the 220's again, well now I am pretty sure I am either there or just about because over the past few days I've been binge eating really bad. I found myself desperately searching for Weight Watchers meetings in my area that meet later than 6:30 pm on weekdays, to almost no avail (there might be a few, but they are no where near me ) I am desperately feeling like I need that group support now. I feel that while I'm getting support from you guys and on MFP that I really need accountability and a group. I found TOPS which I'd heard about many years ago, that may be the way to go for me, we'll see, but something's got to give.
A reason why I think this may be happening, to some degree is that I am in this unknown space and I am starting to choke. Not that I didn't backslide in the 260's (which wasn't exactly unknown to me having reached that decade 9 years earlier in 2005), or 250's (can't really remember that decade well), or the 240's (omigosh this was a rough decade) and the 220's (what a relief to have those behind me, wait... lol) it looks like the 210's are another rough decade. Lately I am loving what I see in the mirror & in pictures, and it is stealing some of the drive I once had, feeling "normal" as opposed to just "fat" (though I am well aware especially when I am nude that I am still "fat"), actually being able to shop in regular stores and not feeling like a snobby sales girl is going to chase me out (this has never happened because I would just avoid these stores before recently) or make me feel unwelcome, wow a good feeling. However that is called "getting too comfortable" which isn't healthy for me. I put up my scale, my last recorded weigh in with my clothes on was 219.8 on the morning of the 18th (the day after my binge & previous weigh in of 215 nude), the scale is put up for now, I am not even planning to weigh myself on Friday (my official day). As the scale is a bit of a trigger for me, I feel this is best. As for Onederland I will get there when I get there, but I WILL get back on track with eating for my health, and stop punishing myself w/binge eating or BECAUSE I'm not perfect, I'm enough, I've gotten this far, I must complete the journey, and I will. Thanks for reading this, I just needed to get it off my chest, I've been so emotional lately.
Today has been wonderful thus far, very thankful, I still have at least one more meal and possibly a snack to go, but so far I've had -
Breakfast - Trader Joe's Steel Cut Oats (frozen kind) 1 serving + Tabatchnick Organic Black Bean Soup (1 serving) + banana and a pear *yummy*
Lunch - 2 open-face sandwiches (meaning each sandwich was made w/1 slice of bread) topped w/5 slices of Tofurky between the 2 of them (which is 1 serving) a squeeze of lemon (love doing this now) and some tomato and guacamole (instead of mayo *woohoo*).
Dinner - Not sure yet, but I will finish the night at around 1800 calories or lower, so help me! lol
So yesterday, I definitely went over my goal, not on purpose but I misjudged the calorie content of some dehydrated vegetables from Whole Foods, that combined with a few other things, brought me significantly over, however today is a new day. I planned on not weighing myself for a couple of weeks (until around the 2nd of November) but broke down and did so (clothed, which is not the weight I count) and I realized my favorite scale is screwed up, initially it gave me a 214 weigh-in, then I tried again not believing my eyes, and it went up to 216 and last attempt 218 *ack*, aka I need to get a new freakin' scale lol! My other scale had me at 218.2 with my clothes on and a little bit of breakfast in me, so I am guessing I weigh around 217, not great news, but hey I've been through worse, I'm dealing.
On the night of the 18th, I had an epiphany, I realized I needed to get back to eating to be healthy, and let me weight loss happen naturally as opposed to forcing it or obsessing over it. It has been so hard lately because I've never been so close, now I have people judging me based on my progress (not in a bad way, but any attention can be overwhelming at times), I'm appreciating how far I've come, etc. and these things have been playing with my head. There is this lingo in the weight loss surgery community called "normies" meaning someone who can eat carefree without gaining much weight, the opposite of most of us trying to lose weight in other words. Well I tried to figure out "Am I eating like a normie?" and I realized the answer is no, I am eating like an addict, eating when I'm not hungry, eating when I am emotional or overwhelmed, whatever, in other words for reasons other than its intended purpose I am eating.
Last edited by Candidcamster; 10-20-2015 at 02:01 PM.
With the help of others in the same situation we can do this too. 
thank you for your post and omigosh you're so freakin' close to Onederland, way to go! I wholeheartedly agree with you, what you said, for me it was scary NOT flattering because these were men in a vehicle and I'm ashamed to admit I've seen too many episodes of Law and Order, so I felt threatened. There is a time and place, and a stranger woman exercising alone on a walk when you're in a truck isn't it. 
CandidCamster on being down 105 Lbs! It must feel awesome. Keep Up the Great Job! Thanks for the encourgement on the binge eating. I'm still struggling to get back to Onderland. I have been having alot of eating events going on lately. But hope to be back to Onderland by next week sometime. 
CandidCamster! You are almost to single digits to Onderland. You will be there soon.
lol. I'll post later, and tomorrow I will be back on my game. Yesterday I did clean it up, and lost 2 lbs. of water weight overnight after consuming 1900+ calories (my body was so used to 3,000+ and up, that the little decrease must have shook me up). My weight went up to 217 yesterday, and down to 215 today, not weighing in again until Friday, and plan to finish out this month from the 15th on with purpose. I'd like to put in a real effort of either reaching Onederland or being super close, under 205 I hope. Stay tuned, and thank you to everyone for the comments & posts, they are super motivating to me. <3
) I am desperately feeling like I need that group support now. I feel that while I'm getting support from you guys and on MFP that I really need accountability and a group. I found TOPS which I'd heard about many years ago, that may be the way to go for me, we'll see, but something's got to give. 