[Candidcamster]

Thank you both @ Jerseypagirl & Lesgetfit, my eating has been extremely off goal, I've put on a bit of weight, but I believe it may have been worth it for the epiphany that followed. This quote was in my head and I wanted to share it especially for those who feel like their commitment is waning -
"Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that."
The only way for THIS problem to change is if we do, and any plan that says otherwise is probably lying. I'm back on track, more worrying about the health ramifications of my eating binges/poor diet than the gain itself. I'll update soon xoxo!

[Candidcamster]

So where do I begin, today I stepped on the scale and the pre-calibrated weight was 234.something, the actual weight (clothed) was 227.something, not sure because I may have blacked out or something ...pardon my language but wtf?!! Lol
Ok now that we've gotten past the shock, how is this possible and what does it mean? A handful of days ago I was registering at 10 or so lbs lighter, going by today's weigh in that is nearly 20 lbs up from my lowest, what gives? Not my size 17 pants which are fitting more snuggly, but that is another story, I've been binging, I'm depressed, not in a "get down from that bell tower" way, but just generally down because to be honest the situation that is hindering our internet installation is not improving. I'm an open person about most of my life, but certain things I'm a bit private about and this being one of them, it affects me mainly relating to my weight loss, but even economically because I work from home, and without internet I'm severely stifled. Which then leads me to food to make myself feel better, whatever, and means I've gained nearly 20 lbs in less than 2 months.

The good news is that it is also my PMS time, which means I probably didn't gain 5 real pounds overnight regardless of the 2 brownies I ate for breakfast...but I must admit if even 5 lbs of this is PMS weight, then I'm a lucky girl because I've been gorging myself on junk food and healthier options alike with little restraint.

Here's the better news, I found an old mini paperback food journal to log my meals in, the pre-mfp way, today being day 1. I have 27 more days to log before filling this one up. Hopefully by then the internet issue will truly be resolved (if not I'm sure I can find another booklet ) and more importantly I'm in better condition physically and emotionally than I am today or have been over the past couple of months.

Today begins at 227.something, let's see where I land this time next week (Thursday January 21, 2016), many blessings to us all xoxo!

Btw - wherever you decide to change is the best place to start, wait not for that perfect moment, because it won't weight for you , you can do this! If you've fallen like me, get up with me! I truly love you guys, thank you for all of your support. It was the one thing I feel I missed in my previous weight loss ventures. I'm aiming for around 1,800-1,850 calories for today but tomorrow and on 1,600-1,650 sounds better to me, though I may raise them slightly should I work out, we'll see, stay tuned!

[LesGetFit]

You can do it! Whether it's online or in a notebook, you know how and you can do it!

[Candidcamster]

Originally Posted by LesGetFit

You can do it! Whether it's online or in a notebook, you know how and you can do it!

Thank you so much Lesgetfit, I'm doing ok though I did have ice cream for dinner oops lol.
Yesterday was 1,800
Today was 1,870
I'll try to check in tomorrow xoxo!

Btw in spite of my gaining weight, this cashier I like at Safeway just noticed my weight loss tonight, that felt good but funny because I've gained, you know?
I weighed without clothes and it was 223.4 , better than yesterday, and it will keep getting better. Lots of love, we can do this!

[kiwi1222]

Also hadn't been on in a while, but Candidcamster, you got this. I have been following your journey and you've been more motivation than you know. Keep pushing forward.

[Candidcamster]

Originally Posted by kiwi1222

Also hadn't been on in a while, but Candidcamster, you got this. I have been following your journey and you've been more motivation than you know. Keep pushing forward.

Kiwi you are doing WONDERFUL omigosh, you're kicking major butt! Thank you so much for posting, I'll finally be able to post pretty regularly thanks to an "unlimited" data plan on my cell phone, not as good as home internet but it will alleviate so much stress and help prevent me from being engulfed in triggering situations. Thank you for sticking it out with me, I'm still here and here I will remain . With my recent troubles, around 16 lbs of regain, internet drama, etc. I strongly considered starting from scratch and deleting my screen names but messages like yours remind me why it's important to stand and fight even when you're seemingly losing or at least getting knocked around. You ladies inspire me, seeing your presence on 3fc and your tickers move, fills me with pride, coughs *envy* coughs, motivation and happiness.

[kiwi1222]

We're all in this thing called life together

[Candidcamster]

Originally Posted by kiwi1222

We're all in this thing called life together

Agreed! I have so much to say that has been hitting me lately, it's overwhelming. One thing though, my weight gain had me feeling lost and depressed, and full of disappointment and hopelessness. I remembered when I was more active in the wlj community and someone would post their regain along with their fears and shame, and I would be supportive either in spirit or message or both, but I've denied myself that same support, why? It's important to be in your own corner and support yourself. Forgive yourself (myself), learn and move on, after my food coma last night that is what I'm intending to do. I'm not aiming for perfection, merely to be better, healthier and quite frankly thinner than I am today.


Keep going!

[LesGetFit]

You definitely deserve self support! You have done so much already, and you can't forget that. I'm glad the Safeway employee noticed because maybe you needed that reminder. We all mess up, but we can all do better tomorrow, and we all deserve some self love! Like Kiwi said, we are all in this together. We have all faced some issues and we will just end up stronger (and thinner). Lots of love right back at you!

[Candidcamster]

Originally Posted by LesGetFit

You definitely deserve self support! You have done so much already, and you can't forget that. I'm glad the Safeway employee noticed because maybe you needed that reminder. We all mess up, but we can all do better tomorrow, and we all deserve some self love! Like Kiwi said, we are all in this together. We have all faced some issues and we will just end up stronger (and thinner). Lots of love right back at you!

Thank you so much girly @ Lesgetfit, sometimes it's easier to be kind to another than ourselves, there is a great quote I'd like to find and post on it.

Eta - this isn't the exact quote but it's similar:
“The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts.”
— Bryant McGill

[HappyinBG]

Hi Candidcamster!

I so enjoy reading your blog and your 100% honesty about what you ate and what exercise you do, or don't do. Keep up the good work and I hope your internet issues get resolved!

Keep on posting girl!


Debbi

[Candidcamster]

Lesgetfit, I hope you see this, I saw your ticker and screamed with joy! Omigosh you've come so far, that is beautiful! Congratulations on the new decade, your goal is close at hand, I can't wait to read your goal post outlining your journey, inquiring minds want to know!

I haven't posted in this particular thread in a little while, though it has been a huge source of support through my lack of internet drama, and previous to it, I'll be honest I felt like I letdown the team. When this thread began my weight was similar (perhaps even lower) than it is now. I've been battling the "terrible two's" for nearly 2 years now. Journeying from 300+ lbs., down to 209.2 (sometime in late November/2015) and bouncing back up to the mid to late 220's in less than 3 months after hitting my lowest of 209.2. I had things planned out about hitting Onederland which I'd hoped would happen by my b-day in October, then When that didn't happen Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, you get the picture. For some of us things are more straight forward, but when you're an inactive food addict such as myself, it will be like the difference between taking a horse and buggy vs. Flying lol. I'm kind of ok with that, doing things my way, wanting others to know you don't have to be perfect to lose weight.

HappyinBG thank you so much for the awesome message, it means so much to know others are with me on this path. So many times I've wanted to run and hide (irrational I know) for feeling like a failure but the kindness and acceptance I get HERE on 3fc has prevented that.

I've been back on track a few days since binging for 4 days straight, I weighed in lightly clothed today 224.2, which is 15 lbs higher than my ticker weight, tut tut lol. I'm in a much more productive space, I do have internet service albeit sloooow on my cell phone, so I'm still here. My 2 year anniversary of when I began my weight loss journey is on the 13th of February, I'm very geeked about that! Xoxo everyone ttys!

Eta this little reminder :
"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

Earl Nightingale

Another reminder :
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. - Winston Churchill

And yet another:
"It is not enough that we do our best; sometimes we must do what is required."

Winston S. Churchill

I'm a motivational/inspirational quotes junkie, and a little bit of a Winston Chuchill groupie.

[LesGetFit]

Thanks so much! I will probably try to go a little lower than my goal weight, maybe 140ish, but we will see. My weight is dropping more and more slowly, but as long as it keeps going down, I'm happy.

Do not stress about Onederland, it will happen when it is meant to happen. You have lost so much, and you can lose these 25 pounds the same way (and not perfectly, you're so right about that!). Do not ever feel like a failure, you are amazing!

Your two year anniversary is my 6 month anniversary of when I started my journey, haha. Enjoy the weekend!

[Candidcamster]

Originally Posted by LesGetFit

Thanks so much! I will probably try to go a little lower than my goal weight, maybe 140ish, but we will see. My weight is dropping more and more slowly, but as long as it keeps going down, I'm happy.

Do not stress about Onederland, it will happen when it is meant to happen. You have lost so much, and you can lose these 25 pounds the same way (and not perfectly, you're so right about that!). Do not ever feel like a failure, you are amazing!

Your two year anniversary is my 6 month anniversary of when I started my journey, haha. Enjoy the weekend!

You're doing fantastic! Thank you again for being so supportive, it definitely helped during some rough times lately. Yesterday I had a good day with 2200+ calories, no exercise, I gave myself permission to have (1) 90 calorie coconut milk ice cream sandwich, and a couple of hard boiled eggs on my salad, my weigh in yesterday was 222 nude.
Today I came in at 220.6, which is 1.4 lbs. down, woohoo! This is my pms time too, so I'm hoping to lose a few more pounds by the end of this month.

Also I finally changed my profile and ticker from 209.2 *sniff,sniff* we'll meet again my love! Lol
Let's keep going everyone, make the decisions to put ourselves before our cravings or despair, your wellbeing is far more important than cookies, brownies, chips, ice cream you name it! True deprivation is eating your consolation prize while letting life pass you by, not saying no to cookies.

[cherrygarcia80]

Hey candidcamster, you've done amazing on the weightloss! Such an inspiration! There will always be some setbacks in life and yours is a small one in comparison to all that you had lost, glad to see you back on the journey to achieve your goals. I took a peek at your blog and saw some of your before/after pics, girl you have done a phenomenal job and look amazing! Hats off to you