Such a pretty face ...

FatToFitWife · 01-05-2012, 07:01 AM

I've heard this my whole life ... 'You have such a pretty face', 'you could be a model ... If you list some weight' ... I can't even begin to describe how mad this makes me! I mean, I always feel so stupid just standing there, like ... Well gee thanks, if only I wasn't so fat!
And saying that to someone alnost 100 lbs. overweight is just so hurtful because my self esteem is already pretty nonexistent, although no one jnows that, and this just makes it so much worse.
What are some comments that just p*** you right off? I will say it does give me a little fuel to keep going though

Will they still tell me I'm pretty when I'm at goal and they're not just pitying me? LOL!

sontaikle · 01-05-2012, 07:21 AM

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW!! DON'T LISTEN!!

I can't tell you how much I HATED that! Why is it only that thin people are beautiful everywhere?!

It's also one of the reasons why I cringe when people say "You're so beautiful now!"

now

That word now bugs the **** out of me when they add it. I think I was beautiful before I lost weight! I'm still the same person—I'm just smaller!

losermom · 01-05-2012, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sontaikle

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW!! DON'T LISTEN!!

I can't tell you how much I HATED that! Why is it only that thin people are beautiful everywhere?!

It's also one of the reasons why I cringe when people say "You're so beautiful now!"

now

That word now bugs the **** out of me when they add it. I think I was beautiful before I lost weight! I'm still the same person—I'm just smaller!

So true! So true.

to both of you!

jeminijad · 01-05-2012, 08:24 AM

I don't really mind it

I guess I'm the odd one out. Its not a secret that most people view fat as unattractive, KWIM? They aren't telling me any new, hurtful thing. Their comment is in line with the dominant paradigm, so to speak.

I've always seen 'you have a pretty face' as a) a real compliment; a pretty face is a good thing, regardless of whether the giver feels that it is at odds w/my figure, and b) a guarantee that when I finally do something about my weight, my final results will be lovely.

runningfromfat · 01-05-2012, 08:59 AM

Some people have no social tact. Unfortunately, it's the way life is. Goodness knows I said a lot of stupid things as a teen (hopefully I've learned a thing or two since then!).

I get that it upsets you... is there some sort of come back you'd be comfortable saying to them? Maybe to show how insensitive that comment is?

jessica2231 · 01-05-2012, 09:25 AM

I was once told by my 70year old hispanic grandmother. that i had such a beautiful personality and face but that if I never lost weight I would never find someone to love and marry.

1. in some weird way she meant it with love
2. Today I have a fiance that ive been with for 3yrs and I found him when I was at my highest weight ever 255
3. He loves me either way and he thinks I am focusing on something that doesnt really matter... and honestly i think it took me this long to truly want to be healthy because of my grandmas comment i wanted to find someone who loved me no matter how much i weighed.
4. I allowed comments like this because i let myself beleive them... Yes. I didnt love me I didnt think I was pretty. but today I know I am beautiful inside and out no matter what. But I want to be thin and healthy and I dont want diabetes like grandparents or highblood pressure or any of the other conditions that go along with obesity.

FatToFitWife · 01-05-2012, 09:26 AM

Sont- exactly!! Now? Really? Ugh, some people!

And, yes, some people really need to learn tact! I wish I could say something more blunt, but unfortunately I usually just smile ... Something I need to work on

mrsmurphy · 01-05-2012, 09:32 AM

I CANNOT stand when someone tells me that "you have such a pretty face." I have extended family members say at times, "Your face is so gorgeous, imagine how beautiful you would be 100 pounds lighter" or "your so pretty, you'd have soo much potential, if you were thin."

That is something I worry about for the future. I am married now and my husband married me at 293 pounds. He loves me for me and always has. I worry that when I lose a lot of weight, I am going to hate people. lol I worry that I am going to snap on someone if they give me a compliment that I normally wouldn't receive at 293 lbs.

BeachKitty · 01-05-2012, 10:16 AM

My sis & I have heard the pretty face comment so many times we've started to jokingly refer to ourselves as butta bodies!

mammasita · 01-05-2012, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessica2231

I was once told by my 70year old hispanic grandmother. that i had such a beautiful personality and face but that if I never lost weight I would never find someone to love and marry.

My own parents have told me this on many an occasion.....in addition to never being successful unless I lost weight, never having a boyfriend unless I lost weight.....UGH. Just terrible.

FatToFitWife · 01-05-2012, 11:03 AM

Ugh!!!
I feel I may snap too, once I lose the weight if someone comments and I take offense! Grrrr. We are all beautiful and those who love us as is are in our lives for a reason, and those who are unkind .... Well, to heck with them!

charlaine09 · 01-05-2012, 11:31 AM

ive heard that since i was like 5 and i didnt get big until i was 14-15. i think its cause for me anyway, i was always much taller than the other girls and thus looked bigger in proportion. my mom would talk to other moms and they'd tell her their kid was like 50 lbs while i was like 60lbs and mom would come home determined that i be one of the pretty girls too, but i was like 4 inches taller or more than them lol but it annoyed me when i was thin and fat, i cant make myself shorter then the other girls so i cant even fix that sorry mom lmao. i think alot of its jealousy too. alot of the ppl that said it to me that were thin were really not pretty face wise, not to be cruel, but the genetics just didnt bless them, so its their way of thinking well ill never have her face but because shes so fat im still winning, by putting you down they step up, its one less pretty person they have to compete with cause they are fat, at least in their minds

princessgina00 · 01-05-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeminijad

I don't really mind it

I guess I'm the odd one out. Its not a secret that most people view fat as unattractive, KWIM? They aren't telling me any new, hurtful thing. Their comment is in line with the dominant paradigm, so to speak.

I've always seen 'you have a pretty face' as a) a real compliment; a pretty face is a good thing, regardless of whether the giver feels that it is at odds w/my figure, and b) a guarantee that when I finally do something about my weight, my final results will be lovely.

Not necessarily. Some people actually lose their pretty face after they've lost a lot of weight. Just something to keep in mind.

Aluli · 01-05-2012, 01:30 PM

This one guy I was interested in...told me.."I've always been attracted to BBW's". Who wants to hear that??

ghlover · 01-05-2012, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsmurphy

I CANNOT stand when someone tells me that "you have such a pretty face." I have extended family members say at times, "Your face is so gorgeous, imagine how beautiful you would be 100 pounds lighter" or "your so pretty, you'd have soo much potential, if you were thin."

That is something I worry about for the future. I am married now and my husband married me at 293 pounds. He loves me for me and always has. I worry that when I lose a lot of weight, I am going to hate people. lol I worry that I am going to snap on someone if they give me a compliment that I normally wouldn't receive at 293 lbs.

I dont think so - I think you will be too busy flaunting it in front of them to waste time snapping at them