I've got a fit man... and then I, the work in progress

  • My man is extremely fit and I honestly can't believe he's with me. We workout together when our schedules allow it but I am so insecure because I'm still working towards my goal, my desired body! He says he loves my body and feels me all over and all the while I'm dying on the inside! Like, can he feel my stretch marks! Yuck! I got them once I lost weight, around my belly button. I can't even wear two piece bathing suits bc I'm insecure about them, they're visible and haven't fade away. Someone please, enlighten me on what I can do to move past this hump, this huge insecurity that is keeping me from sharing myself fully with my man.

    Greatly appreciated!
    FindingSuccess
  • The best advice I can give you is to believe him! He says he loves your body and thinks you're hot - I've been close friends with a lot of dudes over the years, especially as a lesbian myself, and most guys just don't BS about this type of thing. What men do seem to be attracted to is confidence, a woman who lives in the moment, a woman who isn't afraid to just be herself.

    I think it's great to work toward your goals and to really notice your body when you feel it's changed; take a few minutes on those low-bloat days when your pants fit great and think about feeling good. When you notice a little bicep peeking through, congratulate yourself. I think it can be the little things that help make one feel more confident.

    Good luck. Sounds like he's a keeper and he's into you. Have fun and embrace yourself.
  • It rare for a man to stay with someone they don't want to be with - so just remember he is with you because he wants to be - and he wants to be with you most likely because he finds you attractive. Please realize that.

    Also while you are clearly not at peace with your body, remember that does not mean somebody else can't be.

    Also while you might still have plans to keep working on your body and change it (I do as well, its why I am here), try to work on loving of your self right now. which you can do, even though there are parts you are working on changing. Don't fall into the trap of not enjoying your relationship until then

    You sound like you are in the middle of your weight loss journey, so try to enjoy and feel proud of all the changes you have made. Maybe try on some of your old big clothes.

    Other things you could try to be more at ease physically with your man include getting a full body massage to get used to being touched.