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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

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Old 08-28-2013, 12:04 PM   #1
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Default Insecurity AFTER weight loss, but not before?

I never had issues with my body before I lost weight. I loved my curves; I simply wanted to be healthier. After losing 65 pounds I'm suddenly OBSESSED with my weight, the shape of different body parts, my "numbers" (the scale, BMI, body fat percentage). I have dropped my goal weight three times now. I'm 5' 0" and 117 so I'm still within a healthy weight range for my height, but I'm beginning to think I'll never be satisfied with my body. Can anyone relate? Does it just take time to mentally adjust to your "new body"?

Thanks in advance for any insights!
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Old 08-28-2013, 12:45 PM   #2
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I was thinking that it might be better to focus on the numbers such as BMI and the scale because those are indicators of good health.

The mistake I always made was ignoring the numbers and just focusing on how I felt and if my clothes fit. As long as I felt good and had a decent wardrobe that was enough. Well, that of course is way wrong so I am going to do what you are doing.

Your post gives me focus. Whenever I lost weight in the past, I stopped tracking numbers and gained all of my weight back. Maybe the answer is to track the numbers without obsessing so much that we can't enjoy anything.

I have been thin before and I had a very difficult time getting used to my new body. When I gained the weight back, my body felt familiar to me. This time, I have to work on adjusting my mind as well as my food intake.

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Last edited by doingmybest; 08-28-2013 at 12:48 PM.
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Old 08-28-2013, 01:12 PM   #3
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I can definitely relate. I think it takes you a while (me, about 3 years) to be pleased with your body and that it's time to (mostly) maintain. It also helps to just tell yourself that you're gorgeous and that you have a lot to give to the world.
Thinking about weight is now an impediment. I must strive to be the fittest I can be!

I strive to:
-Walk 5 miles on un-gym days
-Run 5 miles at least once a week
-Go to the gym (weight training) about 3 times a week
-Have a mostly protein diet
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Old 08-28-2013, 01:31 PM   #4
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I've nearly 3 stone in the last year, with another 18 pounds or so to go- but I feel bigger than ever before- I totally know what you mean. I never hated being a Uk size 20 ,but hatttttttttte being a 14. I think one day you'll be able wake up and think "This is me and this is my body, I look smokin'!" But It's a massive adjustment-both physicaly and mentally- to be 5 stone lighter than you once were, so not feeling 100% happy right now is completely understandable.
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:40 AM   #5
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I'm starting to get there, I think. I'm staring at myself in the mirror everyday analysing my body and thinking about what I'll look like in nice dresses! I'm even in a rush to get slimmer for summer :O

That being said, if you have never been thin before (like me ) then it's probably the excitement of it all. If you do feel you are going too far, you'll have to retrain yourself to stop caring so much! It's ok to care about how you look, as long as it isn't unhealthy. I say, enjoy it while you have it lol (because there are girls who were thinner than me at high school who are now bigger than me, and childless!)

2013:80.9kgs-64.5kgs. 2014, 64.2kgs-55.5kgs March, Day 445 60kgs, GOAL achieved!
Running distance goals: 4.4km (30min) achieved 7 May 2013. 6 km (45min) 4 September 2013. 10 km (1hr 12min) achieved achieved 18 October 2013.
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:21 PM   #6
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I swear... before I had my ED I was a normal weight and wanted to lose a few pounds. I BECAME obsessed and even though I became skinny minny, I hated everything about myself. Now that I am back the weight I was before dieting, I hate it. I think I am overweight constantly and am critical on every bump or bulge. I'm obsessed.

Before I thought I was sexy and could eat what ever I wanted and didn't seem to fluctuate. Now i'm having trouble finding the middle of binging and restricting. I'm just trying to normalize things. I hate that I dieted like that. If I only just hit the gym thats all I would have needed and it wouldn't have made me so mental
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:39 PM   #7
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omg - yes. I was ridiculously confident at 325 and now I feel like I don't know this body. My confidence is still definitely a work in progress. <3 wish I had the answer.
Weight watching, bourbon loving, foodie and baker. Triathlete. Atlanta native. American Outlaw. USMNT, MLS, Falcons and UGA lover.

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Old 10-26-2013, 09:47 PM   #8
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I know that feeling... I'm a shy woman. When I'm in my heaviest weight, it feels like I'm invisible, but when I start to lose some pounds and form some curve, people start to stare at me -like they started to judge my appearance-, it makes me feels so uncomfortable and lost confident. Sometimes I miss the time of being "invisible", however the willing to be thin is greater than stay chubby. So, sometimes I cheer myself up with the song, "I'm sexy and I know it". I hope I can reach my goal
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Old 11-13-2013, 02:57 PM   #9
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I made myself be confident with the weight, so I suppose I'll have to do the same wtihout the weight. It took a while the first time. Still focussing on the losing!
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Old 12-18-2013, 04:04 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by LauraDGallagher View Post
I never had issues with my body before I lost weight. I loved my curves; I simply wanted to be healthier. After losing 65 pounds I'm suddenly OBSESSED with my weight, the shape of different body parts, my "numbers" (the scale, BMI, body fat percentage). I have dropped my goal weight three times now. I'm 5' 0" and 117 so I'm still within a healthy weight range for my height, but I'm beginning to think I'll never be satisfied with my body. Can anyone relate? Does it just take time to mentally adjust to your "new body"?

Thanks in advance for any insights!
I can relate to you in the since that while I was uncomfortable with myself at the larger weight, covered with a blanket during intimate times etc, I was more out going, I wasn't as embarrassed about how I looked. My attitude was this is it, this is me, take it or leave it.

I mean at my highest weight of 248 I would put on my shirt and pants and while it wasn't clingy or anything I just accepted how I looked and that was it..now at about 60 lbs less, and surgery to remove excess skin, I only only see negative. i see how I still have a roll over the pants, I see how my butt is flat, i see the stretch marks..I have gotten down to 150 which was even lower than what the dr wanted and I still wasn't happy and felt ugly.

Now that I have lost weight, and succeeded at it, it takes more and more to make me happy. Its almost a consequence, like an addict that needs more and more to get high after building a tolerance..to get that same level of happiness I had when I first lost 20 lbs and could wear a size 20 jean, I dream of that. Instead I eat something or gain 5 lbs and the world is over I am a failure, I am fat and ugly, unworthy and I might as well give up. What happened>

Now, the scale tells me if I have a good day, how I feel, and how I feel others should treat me or look at me. It is there every morning when I step on the scale and it reads back to me a number..a number that 5 years ago I would have sold my soul to reach..170, a number I would have said would make me happy, confident, feel smart, sexy, worthy, a number where I said If I could just get "there" I'd do anything. Well, obviously I cant keep my end and do anything just to get there or I'd stop with the eating right> Sorry, kind of getting off track.

Its just ironic how at 248 lbs I envied women my size and felt they had an easy life, I dreamed of being them. Now I am in that situation where ladies at work say oh your thin or I'd give anything to be your size..look at your legs in your jeans, etc. etc...well they don't know how ugly I feel and what an obsession this losing weight has become. I have lost myself, and instead of gaining self esteem with the loss of the weight, I just gained more insecurities as issues.

I have reached my goal weight multiple times, yet i find myself consistently regaining and settling into the 170's. I tell myself I don't like it, the 170;s, and I consider myself fat at this size..yet if I so dislike it, can't stand how I look or feel, I really need to do some deep soul searching as to why I keep going back and not staying in the 150's. I don't feel happy even when I get to the goal weight. i look at myself and still see the same thing, every physical flaw staring right back at me. I've considered it a type of self sabotage or a comfort zone, it would explain it. I also noticed that once I did reach my goal weight, after obsessing for several years over the weight, I began explosive binge eating, something I had never experienced at this level before and it is some how tied to me, my self esteem, my coping, I don't know I could go on and on.

Anyone have anything similar? Any advice?> Ive read dozens of self help books on confidence, self esteem, self worth, etc. nothing changes.
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Old 01-06-2014, 03:49 AM   #11
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I can relate. One of the reasons I stop my fitness journeys is that after losing about 20 pounds my neck becomes very slender, like I have a REAAAAALLY LOOONG NECK and it makes me look weird.
PLUS I have a long face to go with it. When I was skinny as a child my mum would call me HORSE FACE. Those two things I'm not used to seeing on my usually chubby body. I don't like my double cheek either but then... when I lose weight, at a point in time I decide that my face used to look nicer with some flesh on it. Usually that's also the period I reach my first plateau so I ALWAYS decide to forget the rest of the journey and maintain it there. Unfortunately I have NEVER EVER BEEN ABLE TO MAINTAIN IT. when I stop exercising I always go back to unhealthy habits and end up with all the kilos. But this time I decided that I'm not falling into that trap anymore.. I prefer to look ugly than to not be able to lace my shoes because my tummy is too big.
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Old 01-06-2014, 05:08 PM   #12
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i'm not struggling with my new weight or body image as i FAR PREFER it over my old fat self and have a lot more confidence but interestingly the area i have less confidence in now is my "looks".

Being 51 and losing a lot of weight has not been kind to my skin or emerging wrinkles i'm really grappling with it. Ugh, vanity!!
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Old 01-12-2014, 11:30 PM   #13
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Maybe, and I could be all wet, but, what is it that we want out of our healthy lifestyle and body?

I have watched my mother struggle with her weight for years.

Fat and unhealthy, is not armor against bad things, life still happens.

On the flip side, healthy and fit, is also not an armor against bad things in life.

Just for myself, I find it easier and more comforting to have the good habits/plan to hang onto when life gets crazy.

I can always carve out a few minutes for a walk, or steam a chicken breast, and dip it in some fave wing sauce, or steam some veggies.

Photoshop, magazines, weight loss sights, skew our views.

The biggest thing I have learned is, our bodies are amazing, but, they won't do anything, until we get our brains engaged!

At 54, post children, I wore a bikini, stretch marks and all last summer! I'm amazing!

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The human body is capable of amazing things! But without the mind, it is nothing. Get your mind in gear and the body will follow!

Be selfish about caring for yourself, you deserve it!
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Old 10-01-2014, 03:43 PM   #14
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I feel the same way, I'm always weighing myself on the scale, measuring my arms and belly, just to see if I made any improvements, if I stagnated or - the horror! - if I gained any weight. I think it's the fear of going back, of having worked in vain all this time, that makes us so insecure.
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