hi, this is my story
22, 5'4 128lbs. lost 120 lbs. 2 years +
I have battled depression and anxiety for many years. Finally crawled out of it and have managed to get healthy both physically and mentally. I also have been diagnosed with pcos recently. something I probably have had for a while.
I have found a few doctors online that I would like to consult with at some point and compare different opinions. Even though I have no money and no savings I still like to know what I am up against. Is there hope for me? will I ever look half normal? How much would it roughly cost. 20K? 30?
my research tells me I need: body lift, thigh lift. even calves have some excess skin. tummy tuck. breast lift, reduction, arms and neck.
I want to smile when I see myself in the mirror not wince. I'd like to learn how it feels like to love my body and call it attractive. I have never felt like that before. I'd like to think someday I will be blessed to experience falling in love and being loved by a woman, emotionally, mentally and physically. I know, it has to start with me feeling O.K about myself and have confidence which I've never had. I don't remember a time where my breasts were not saggy. not to this current state tho but an average symmetrical, I have no memory of it. I want to scream when I look at these pictures. It is manageable but on top of all this I have social anxiety so you can only imagine how hard it is to wear short sleeves outside but I do it. Exposure, exposure, exposure. Is what my therapist always tells me.
I'm scared, my current body is causing me so much stress. I constantly make sure my shirt is sitting at my hip over my pants in fear of ever exposing the wrinkles of skin, stretch marks. In my head my vertical stretch marks are cool, I think to myself maybe if/when/ I have the surgery I could show them off and make other women see its not that bad. you're even more awesome with stretch marks eh After all we have earned them over many years. but right now…. I have no words to describe it. :/
All of that negativity aside I am so proud of how far I've come. Sometimes I give myself a pat on the shoulder, My life has never been easy but It could have been worse. To those people who are scared of excess skin after weight loss, all I can tell you is that I would personally do it again. I feel liberated and in a lot of ways happier. Holy crap this took guts! Ty so much for reading!
can anyone relate to my current state of mind and body? what were the steps you took? any Advice, suggestions, questions, comments, anything i'll take it.