Naturally there exceptions to this rule (true and rare exceptions mind you) but in general, I would have to say that yes, you are responsible for your own obesity issues.
Hmmm...60mg of Prednisone for 8 months started my weight gain. The drug was miserable one and I had this incredible appetite as a side effect.
But it has been over two years since I took the last pill. My weight climbed up another 10 pounds; after I was done taking the drug. So I really can not blame prednisone where I am today....
Yes initially my weight gain was a side effect, a nasty one. But I chose to stay heavy and keep eating large quantities of (junky) food.
I don't know if I would had ever hit obese category if I was not forced to take Prednisone....hard to say. On a flip side, I have had really "good times" with food and wine during the past few years; now the party is over and I am paying the price.
I cautiously and shyly say: Yes, I am the one to blame for becoming obese.
Sounds stupid but I had to come to this forum to learn how to lose weight.
Nobody told me to use a scale. Nobody told me it's more about what you eat than how much you exercise.
So for the last 38 years I have been using my mirror as a guide to my weight and eating too much of the wrong staff trying to exercise my ar$e off to lose it in vain.
Now I have a scale and am eating fewer calories the weight is just dropping.
Couldn't someone like my doctor or even the feds have given me such simple information? Apparently not.
While Americans love it, personal responsibility is way over-rated.
I'm a smart girl and I know a lot about nutrition, etc. But there were times in my life I just didn't care. Why? Clinical depression - and I self-medicated with food.
I also grew up in a household with very bad food habits. My mother was/is a binge-eater. I saw her consume whole packs of cookies, whole big boxes of ice cream (never both at the same time!) as her way to deal with her unhappiness. Plus no concept of portion sizing and very little concept of nutrition. Couple that with an anti-sports attitude and the fact that my mom liked me to be fatter than her... On the other hand, my mom was always very active and enjoyed running for a long time. But I never enjoyed running for its own sake (still don't fully- I'm running for rugby fitness and for long term goals of reffing youth games). My father was always obese. He drank a lot and I've come to believe he binge ate, but was much better at hiding it (based on his behaviour as guest in my house).
On the other hand, there were times in my life I was in control and just didn't do what I should have done. Coupled with the fact that there were times I didn't like being at my lowest weight.
I also think I suffered from an 'all or nothing' attitude. If I can't be one of this skinny little things, then why bother? Guess what! I'll never be one of those skinny little things - I AM large framed. I do put on muscle easily and unlike most women I do somewhat bulk*. It's taken me a while to not just accept it but LOVE it. I can be a healthy attractive size for me!
___
*some dude tried to pick me up in a bar on Friday. Hint to men: "Wow, your biceps are bigger than mine" - is not a great line even though I'm proud of my muscles.
As my signature says, it's all about perspective. I believe I am the one who made myself obese and I believe that I am like this because of the things around me. There are so many yummy foods out there, like chocolate, potato chips, takeaways, that are made to be addictive and more appealing than the healthier choices. I could gorge on the unhealthy stuff all day and night, but it's my decision to buy them AND put them into my body. Similarly, I think a lot of my food choices while I was gaining the weight was based on the way I was brought up and the food choices my parents made for me. However, since I've left home I've been more than capable of choosing the correct foods to eat (whether I chose them or not). Besides, parents can only do what they think is right, which doesn't mean that it is the best option. They have to manage a household, their kids AND go to work
Choosing to eat the unhealthy foods is mostly convenience. On days where I don't have the energy or patience to go into the kitchen and both prepare and cook a meal, I'll just go out and buy it or eat the microwave meals.
Again, that's my choice. A salad, or preparing re-heatable meals are quick and easy. It's easy to sit back and blame society for making me feel that I should do this or do that -like I'm some kind of brainless robot. As I've learned while losing weight, making the right choices is difficult and losing weight and keeping it off are, no doubt, going to be the hardest things I will ever do in my life. Therefore, being obese is the easier option, of course, until I'm diabetic or so overweight that I'm probably going to die from a heart attack before I'm 60.
A few years back, I would have blamed society for making me feel that I was less than useless because I was lazy and the food makers for tempting me to the dark side. Now, I'm more aware of the choices of foods out there. With some planning, will power and thrift, it is easier than I would have thought to eat healthy and make sure I don't set myself up to be obese [again].
Quote:
Originally Posted by IanG
Nobody told me to use a scale. Nobody told me it's more about what you eat than how much you exercise.
...
Couldn't someone like my doctor or even the feds have given me such simple information? ...
You raise a valid point that I hadn't considered. It's true that society puts a lot of pressure on people to lose weight and become healthier, but that's it. I agree that I had to come here to build on the small amount of knowledge I had about losing weight. I remember having discussions (sometimes heated) with my partner that I was sick of being told to do something, lose weight or better my personality by learning to 'let go of my pent up anger', and not being given a clue how to do it. Like you, I was pounding the pavement and not losing much, until I learned it was more about food than exercise. Even with the abundance of 'how to' guides on the internet, there needs to be that personal, human touch of guidance from those we care about, or doctors etc we visit.
I still stick to my point though that being obese is both my responsibility and that of outside influences.
Last edited by Rhiko; 04-18-2013 at 07:35 AM.
Reason: I could keep adding to this for the rest of my life LOL
Hmmm...60mg of Prednisone for 8 months started my weight gain. The drug was miserable one and I had this incredible appetite as a side effect.
GODS! I forgot about THIS! When ever I start getting my weight under control, I end up with horrible asthma attacks or ARDS flair ups or whatever. I end up getting prednisone and injections and ALWAYS bulk up 20-30 pounds despite my best efforts.
I still maintain for me, it was 50/50...or likely 75/25. but all the same...both.
I could very easily say "not my fault". My father was beyond morbidly obese. My grandmother was obese. My uncles on both sides, my aunts, great aunts, the list goes on. Weight eventually killed my father in his 50's. My mom, who is overweight but not completely out of control like dad or I, tells me constantly that genetics screwed me over. And oh boy, did I use that excuse. For well over a decade.
Yes, in some ways genetics did screw me over. I'm 6 feet tall and big boned, and as a woman who is very feminine in mind, I do not consider this a blessing. I have reproductive issues inherited from my grandmother. I have a stubby nose. The culture of my family didn't help me in any way either. Food was king, and it wasn't healthy food. It was sugar, flour, carb concoctions. (And from watching how my body has responded to primal eating, I wish my dad had given this a chance, like Melissa mentioned, some people just cannot handle carbs).
So with all this, it would be easy to say that I was doomed to be my dad.
But you know what? I BLAME MYSELF 100 PERCENT. In fact, I think I'm more responsible than most for what happened to me, because my future stared me in my face my entire childhood, and the worst part when I was in my early 20's and making my own decisions. And even after I watched my dad die, I kept eating. I didn't do anything that resembled exercise. The vegetables in my diet were the tomatoes in my pasta sauce. I would go days where the only fluid I put in my mouth was coca cola. I did this. No one made me. I wasn't 'genetically' programmed to do this. Cravings? Maybe. but I had a brain of my own, and I didn't use it.
Stephanie said it best:
Quote:
Originally Posted by LockItUp
I
My obesity was 100% my doing.
I ate in excess, and I was sedentary. It wasn't my genetics. It wasn't some disease. It wasn't my metabolism. It wasn't an injury. Sure it's take a lot of hard work to get all that weight off, but there was NOTHING standing in my way except ME! Unless you count excuses and laziness as "not my fault", but I don't think either of those qualify as such.
That being said, I have ZERO DOUBT in my mind that some of you have had the deck stacked against you, and you all amaze me. Some of the obstacles faced by members here seem insurmountable to me, yet you guys climb those mountains everyday. Just because it was MY FAULT in MY CASE, doesn't mean I assume the same for you!
Sounds stupid but I had to come to this forum to learn how to lose weight.
Nobody told me to use a scale. Nobody told me it's more about what you eat than how much you exercise.
So for the last 38 years I have been using my mirror as a guide to my weight and eating too much of the wrong staff trying to exercise my ar$e off to lose it in vain.
Now I have a scale and am eating fewer calories the weight is just dropping.
Couldn't someone like my doctor or even the feds have given me such simple information? Apparently not.
While Americans love it, personal responsibility is way over-rated.
Ok, I can't tell if your response was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. If not, I'm calling B.S. on this one! (No offense intended).
Nobody told you to use a scale? Whose responsibility is it to do that? Our bodies don't come with instruction manuals. Its kinda up to us to figure out how to take care of ourselves. At first, our parents guide and teach us. But once we become adults we're on our own. Sure, we have doctors who give us check ups to make sure we're ok. And if your doctor never mentioned that you may have an issue with your weight, then maybe you could assign some blame to him/her. But, ultimately there is nobody to blame but ourselves for our weight.
I am curious about your statement in which you asked "Couldn't someone like my doctor or even the feds have given me such simple information?" Sure, your doctor could - and should - say something about it. But what information do you think the government should have provided you with? How do you think the information should have been provided? Because the information IS out there. You just have to find it. The government doesn't assign wellness social workers to people to make sure they're healthy. Its kinda up to you to try to find the information. Have you checked with the government for information on health issues such as obesity, proper diet, exercise, etc? While I don't think its the responsibility of the government to put out such information ... they do it. The Dept of Health and Human Services has a website: http://www.health.gov/ On that site, and others, there is a myriad of information on various health topics, including obesity, proper nutrition, exercise, etc. They even have a site devoted to women's health: http://www.womenshealth.gov You can find a lot of information about obesity on that site too: http://www.womenshealth.gov/health-t....cfm?topic=451
I can understand people saying their obesity is not completely "their fault" because it resulted - at least in part - from factors beyond their control. But then again, we all have to play the cards we are dealt. I don't know if this is a myth or truth, but you always hear people say that some people are blessed with great metabolisms; that some people can eat whatever and as much as they want and not get fat. I don't know if there is any truth to that, but even is there is... so what? We obviously cannot. Our choice is to deal with the situation we're in appropriately... or not deal with it. If we do not, and we become obese, then it is ultimately OUR OWN FAULT... because we did not take measures to avoid it. Unless you can show me somebody out there who does every possible thing he/she can to lose (or not gain) weight, but is unable to do so due to factors beyond his/her control, I'm going to maintain that it is ultimately our fault if we become and remain obese.
It truly no longer matters. What matters now is that I'm losing weight and getting healthy. I shan't be dwelling on the rest of it anymore. Y'all, that's quite an accomplishment for me!
I feel like if you (generic "you"--not targeting anyone specifically ) made it to this forum on your own, it's hard to pass blame because you didn't know you were overweight/didn't know how to lose weight/etc. Obviously, when you decided to get help, you were able to find it. The help was probably there before, but you weren't ready for it.
Yes, there are genetic and societal factors that can make us more prone to obesity, but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself. It's just like someone who is 45 years old and blames mistakes he/she makes on his/her childhood. I feel like personal responsibility is highly underrated these days.
It truly no longer matters. What matters now is that I'm losing weight and getting healthy. I shan't be dwelling on the rest of it anymore. Y'all, that's quite an accomplishment for me!
I think that's a great idea.
So, I wonder if you all believe that people of, say, the 1940's, 50's, 60's were on average morally superior to people today, since so many of us are behaving in such a blame-worthy manner?
So, I wonder if you all believe that people of, say, the 1940's, 50's, 60's were on average morally superior to people today, since so many of us are behaving in such a blame-worthy manner?
Hmmm ....so People who were born in those years are the only ones who "feel morally superior", Sound like someone is possibly being Should I Say Judgmental perhaps? Just wondering???
Because the information IS out there. You just have to find it.
All I'm saying Joe is a leaflet or a TV advert would have been nice.
Despite whose fault it is if I am obese, we all pay for it after all. Which needs bigger Government.
And have you seen the BS on those websites you kindly provided? Tips like "Watch your weight". Er, yeah. I know I'm big. Now what?
Nothing. Zip. Diddly. On how to actually lose weight. It was much the same at the doctor. Exercise more was all I got. Or join a gym. Yeah right. That did not work for me.
