I am down about 80 pounds so far, 30 from goal. I knew there would be.....issues after losing so much weight but dear sweet Lord, all I want is a nice shape.
I bent over last night and my boobs were like tear drops, my belly skin was hanging down in at least 2, I don't even know what to call them, plops? They looked like nippleless boobs. I stood up so fast I almost gave myself a nosebleed.
My lower belly looks like I don't even know what, all squishy and with stretchmark white lines running all crazy over it (I have an almost overwhelming urge to do the truffle shuffle when I see it and I faintly hear Cyndi Lauper in the background singing about Good Enough???) and it just looks bizarre and well, kind of gross.
My thighs have these little..... flaps? Anna Richardson calls them thingo wings, bingo wings but on the thighs, lol. They aren't huge but they are just blech.
Last night during (tmi) sexy time with hubby. I looked down and my boob was so far away from me I think it was trying to run away. I had to reach out, pick it up and put it back where it actually belonged! I was hoping hubby didn't see me have to do that
Hubby says he thinks I am beautiful, but I don't see how. I thought I wanted to lose weight, but I almost think being heavier can't possibly be as bad looking as what I see now. (I don't really believe that deep down, I like looking nice in clothes now). I think I have even gotten checked out a time or two, and I don't mean at the register.
Does the skin ever get better? I know it will never be perfect, I don't expect the stretch marks to disappear magically, I know that I will show the reality of the damage I have done to my body for the rest of my life. But great googily moogily, I guess I didn't think it would be this bad
Don't get me wrong, I would rather be the saggy baggy skinny than the filled out version of me but......
On the good side, I feel muscle under the squishy tummy, even when I am relaxed, there is muscle. Along my sides too. I have a space between my thighs now. My double chin is gone, I have cheekbones. I have actual bicep muscles you can see, I wish the bingo wings, bat flaps whatever you call them weren't there but I think they seem to be getting smaller the more tricep work I do. I actually have muscle tone all over now, not much yet, but it is a start.
My wrists are downright tiny, my feet are, well to honest a bit creepy to me, I can see bones and veins in them and my hands. My ribs and hips hurt when I lay on them because there isn't as much fat padding them. I actually can see ribs poking out, not much, just at the bottom part where they stick out the farthest but still, I can see them, along with the points of my hip bones.
I am trying not to be too upset with it, I knew it would happen, and that maybe the skin will tighten a bit, maybe it won't. I am just shocked at what I see now and I guess it hurts me a bit to see what I have done to myself.
I know I am not alone feeling and looking like this, I guess I just need to know others are going through this with me.