i don't like being the weight i am, and ideally i would love to be under 200 pounds, i don't care if it was 199.9....i just dream of one day in my life, since being 18 and pregnant to at least ONCE MORE IN MY LIFETIME, see a 1 at the beginning of my weight.
You have no idea how much I relate to this.
As for the original post, I understand the self esteem thing completely. I was apparently blissfully unaware of my shortcomings at over 400 pounds. Now, I see sagging everywhere and I know it's only going to get worse. Not to mention I thought at 75 pounds down, I'd look so much better than before. And guess what? I really don't. I'm still 360 pounds. I'm still grossly overweight.
I know I'm never going to have the perfect body I dreamed of. I know I've missed my shot at wowing some lucky guy with my naked body. Even with a panniculectomy should I be lucky enough to qualify, I'm going to be wrinkly. Still I take every specious cure out there, from bio oil to dry brushing to Coq10, because I hope it will help. I should be stock in spanx, because I know I'm going to be a lifetime user.
But I will look better, and feel better. And the skin will shrink with time. And no one is going to look as closely as me. All they will see is my progress. MY CHANGE. This huge hurdle I jumped. That's what keeps me going.