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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

I have lower self esteem AFTER I have lost the weight

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Old 01-10-2013, 02:33 PM   #1
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Default I have lower self esteem AFTER I have lost the weight

Before I was 300 lbs, I am now down to 210 lbs, but yo-yo a bit around 200 lbs. But I have a good amount of extra skin and I am more insecure about the extra skin than I was about my extra weight. Before I lost weight I had a big personality and was full of confidence, but now I feel like the extra skin is just embarrassing and sometimes even disgusting. When I put on clothes I notice that I'm pretty much stuck in the same type of clothes as before because if I wear clothes that show off too much skin then I have flab everywhere. I've even become insecure in the bedroom! I was never insecure about stuff in the bedroom before, but now I feel like the extra skin is just getting in the way and it makes me extremely self conscious. My boyfriend says that he prefers the extra skin rather than the extra weight. But I'm more insecure about the extra skin than I ever was about my weight before. I feel extremely unattractive with all the extra skin, and I feel like, what was the point of me losing weight and getting healthier if I'm more insecure about myself and dislike my body?
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Old 01-10-2013, 02:59 PM   #2
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When we had the weight, it was easier to assume that once we lost it, we would have our dream body....flat stomache, perfect curves, NO loose skin....but reality kicks in and we put all our imprefections under a microscope. Loose skin isn't as big of an issue as we like to make it out to be, and spandex can work wonders under clothes

YOU LOST between 90-100 pounds...CELEBRATE that...focus on how amazing you look, how much energy you have and how much healthier you are. The loose skin will shrink some as you lose more weight..
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Old 01-10-2013, 03:02 PM   #3
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I understand what you are feeling. I've lost almost 100 pounds and am experiencing the same issue.

You asked "what was the point of me losing weight and getting healthier if I'm more insecure about myself and dislike my body?" -- but you kinda answered your own question. The goal you list in your profile is "Healthy." Getting healthy is its own reward.

Of course it would be ALSO be great if our skin would be more elastic and not just hang when we lose the weight. But unfortunately that isn't always the case, and many people have to have surgery to remove that excess skin.

But in any event, its still worth it to lose the weight and get healthy. I've been overweight for many years. While I was disappointing in the way I looked, I apparently wasn't THAT disgusted with it because I never did anything to change my weight that lasted. It was only recently that I finally made a real commitment to lose the weight ---- and the impetus for it is to get healthy. My main motivations were that I have a family with small children, and I want to be around for them for a long time. I knew that if I did not do something about my weight, I would almost certainly have a much reduced lifespan. And it is not uncommon for people my age (42) to start experiencing serious health problems due to obesity. When I was 22 and obese, I felt like it wasn't a health problem yet. And it wasn't then.

Anyway, I hope you look on the bright side and see that there is a point to losing weight and that all of your work is worth it --- even though you are not fully happy with the results with respect to your appearance.
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Started out at 405.5 on 7/31/12. Then lost 156 lbs to get down to 249.5 by 7/31/13. In the past year I have put back on over 40 pounds and reached a high of 291.5. But I have recommitted myself and quickly took off ten pounds by 7/31/14. I am now trying to take off the weight I put back on, and then lose the rest of the weight I was originally trying to lose. ---- Starting weight / Low weight / Current Weight / Goal Weight

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Old 01-10-2013, 03:16 PM   #4
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Thank you for your responses I can see that joining this site is definitely going to help me. It's good to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this and you are right, I should focus on the fact that I lost rather than just the extra skin. Thank you
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Old 01-10-2013, 03:40 PM   #5
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Extra skin is annoying, I agree. I was doing Yoga today and during some poses all I could think about was my extra skin hanging down. Ick

Then I remembered how much EASIER doing the poses was now that I'm lighter. I remembered all that I accomplished and that the extra skin is a reminder of where I've come from. It sucks, yeah, but it's much better than where I was.

Focus on what you can do vs how you look. I find it hard to get upset when I look at how far I've come.
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Old 01-10-2013, 05:00 PM   #6
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Interesting. I've lost about 100 pounds too, and I was thinking the other day that if I lose much more, I'm going to have some folds to deal with!
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
i don't like being the weight i am, and ideally i would love to be under 200 pounds, i don't care if it was 199.9....i just dream of one day in my life, since being 18 and pregnant to at least ONCE MORE IN MY LIFETIME, see a 1 at the beginning of my weight.
You have no idea how much I relate to this.

As for the original post, I understand the self esteem thing completely. I was apparently blissfully unaware of my shortcomings at over 400 pounds. Now, I see sagging everywhere and I know it's only going to get worse. Not to mention I thought at 75 pounds down, I'd look so much better than before. And guess what? I really don't. I'm still 360 pounds. I'm still grossly overweight.

I know I'm never going to have the perfect body I dreamed of. I know I've missed my shot at wowing some lucky guy with my naked body. Even with a panniculectomy should I be lucky enough to qualify, I'm going to be wrinkly. Still I take every specious cure out there, from bio oil to dry brushing to Coq10, because I hope it will help. I should be stock in spanx, because I know I'm going to be a lifetime user.

But I will look better, and feel better. And the skin will shrink with time. And no one is going to look as closely as me. All they will see is my progress. MY CHANGE. This huge hurdle I jumped. That's what keeps me going.
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