This weekend my daughter and I spent the day downtown walking around. We were suppose to meet friends for dinner and had planned to have time to go home and change since we thought we were meeting in our neck of the woods. Well as we were walking around site seeing the phone call came, they wanted to meet us downtown for dinner. Now here is where the stress came in.
The day was close to 100* and the thought of meeting people for dinner in the clothes that I was walking in around all day was horrifying to me. My daughter calmly explained we could make this an adventure, set a budget and try to see if we could get two new outfits under that budget and do the best we could cleaning up in a bathroom. Ok.. now this sounded like fun till it hit me.
I have lost over 80lbs in the past year. I am now less than 200lbs but still haven't shopped in a "real store" yet. I love that consignment stores have all sizes together so I can blame poor washing or the make of the clothes on the size not on me. I hadn't actually gone shopping and the next thing I knew I was standing in the Gap. Terror actually ran down my back.. how was I suppose to fit in clothes here? I am still considered "obese". I did end up with a size 12 shorts and a top..
Now when will this change? How do you move on from the self image of being morbidly obese? I still think that people see me as the fat girl and I try to hide all the time. I have cried over the weight loss, about how I feel about it. I know that I should rejoice but am I the only one that is having these issues?