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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

Extremely scared

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Old 06-03-2012, 11:34 PM   #1
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Unhappy Extremely scared

Hi! I just joined the forum.

I'm a 19 year old girl and I started gaining weight in highschool. I was a little chubby all my life. freshman year I was 170 lbs. the following year I lost 35 lbs with a low calorie diet. I got depressed, gained it all back and more and went up to 200 lbs.

I started losing weight the healthy way last summer, may 2011. I'm now at 145 lbs.

lately since april I have had uncontrollable binging sprees from stress and extreme depression. (yes I am seeing a therapist about both)

this week I binged really bad through 3 days and went from 141 lbs-149. it's gone down a bit and sits at 145/146 now...

anyways my biggest concern since starting my weight loss was loose skin. I've stressed about it, cried over it, and worried about it for my whole journey. Religiously losing weight slowly, mositurizing my whole body, using a loofah etc..

despise gaining weight twice and becoming obese I only have a few stretch marks at the top of my thighs, no where else can't see it under clothes. I think my skin is naturally a bit stretchy.

with my binging lately however I'm scared to death I'm ruining my skin even more! which means I may get loose skin

I started this journey to lose weight and feel better about myself. I have extremely poor self esteem. While I am feeling better about how I look, loose skin will completely DEVESTATE me and nothing will convince me otherwise.

I'm tired of hating my body and being the ugly duckling.. I don't want my body looking 60 at 19!

I seriously don't know what to do. I know weight training helps but I'm 19 and poor. I don't have time for gym or the money! and surgery...haha yeah right.

I feel like crying right now... what do I do...?
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Old 06-03-2012, 11:45 PM   #2
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Close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth until you feel looser and less tense. Roll your shoulders and stretch your neck.

Now, try to realize that your body does not reflect who you are. Continue to be kind to yourself and your life will change. You're already doing a great job of being good to yourself by going to therapy and losing weight.

Also try to realize what you have control over right now. You're quite young and I understand that it's frustrating not to have control over the things you're worried about (stretch marks, loose skin) but don't forget that you have a lot of time ahead of you to figure those things out.

Above all else, don't forget to breathe and be kind to yourself. You'll get to where you want to be. It'll just take time.
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Old 06-03-2012, 11:59 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by redvelouria View Post
Close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth until you feel looser and less tense. Roll your shoulders and stretch your neck.

Now, try to realize that your body does not reflect who you are. Continue to be kind to yourself and your life will change. You're already doing a great job of being good to yourself by going to therapy and losing weight.

Also try to realize what you have control over right now. You're quite young and I understand that it's frustrating not to have control over the things you're worried about (stretch marks, loose skin) but don't forget that you have a lot of time ahead of you to figure those things out.

Above all else, don't forget to breathe and be kind to yourself. You'll get to where you want to be. It'll just take time.
so what am I going to do in terms of relationships..? everyone says if they judge you then suck! blah blah but attraction MATTERS. I think people hate to admit it and blind themselves to that harsh truth.

also I'd love to wear a bikini like normal girls my age. can;t do that with loose skin can I? :/
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:44 AM   #4
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Relationships? If someone really cares about you, they're not going to give a crap whether you feel comfortable wearing a bikini or not.

You want some harsh truth? Nobody's normal, attraction matters at first, and nobody cares about your stretch marks or loose skin. Now, go watch the movie Fight Club, because we are not our f-ing khakis.
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Revisit the 90's: 5/26/12, The 80's: 6/20/12, Healthy BMI 7/17/12!, I conquered the pants! 10/11/12

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Get back to the 150's
Lose 5-10 lbs before vacation, 2-13-14: My progress
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:52 AM   #5
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I think that was a bit too harsh.
This girl is you through some tough stuff and you probably just made her feel a lot worse.
You didn't have to be so rude about it.
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:57 AM   #6
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You are young so that is a big plus. I doubt you will have loose or extra skin even being at 200lbs once (or close to it twice) but if you do, give it up to a year and you will see a difference especially if you weight/strength train. Google up bodyweight exercises or go to the school gym if you are still a student. You only need up to 1 hour 2 to 3 times a week max for that, not hours and hours nor everyday.

I started out once at 242, I do have a bit of loose skin and I am 26 years old. After maintaining 180-185 for a year, my skin has gotten better and I think it will be fine once I get to 150. My body may not be bikini worthy but definitely worthy of something like this!
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Old 06-04-2012, 01:09 AM   #7
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How tall are you?

You have age on your side, seriously. I had a lot more weight to lose than you do. I have a tiny bit of loose skin on my stomach and inner thighs. Nobody cares. My husband doesn't care. I don't care. I'd still wear a bikini if I didn't have massive stretchmarks from 2 huge pregnancies.

It's going to be OK!!!!!!! Nobody has a perfect body. Even the people that do have a lot of help from photoshop .
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Old 06-04-2012, 10:17 AM   #8
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Some people do have perfect bodies, but even so-called shallow dudes don't require them. Attraction DOES matter, it matters a lot, but if someone is really special, well-adjusted (read: worthwhile) people will forgive 20 pounds or a squishy tummy.
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Old 06-04-2012, 11:31 AM   #9
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I'm tired of hating my body and being the ugly duckling

This will all work out...but the first step is really to not speak so harshly to yourself about yourself. Our poor little bodies really are doing the best they can to get us from here to there, to do all of the things they need to do to keep us going. And given the abuse we sometimes give them, it's pretty remarkable how forgiving they are !

Treat your body and your mind well and you will get to a great place. Lay off the media ideas of 'perfect', stop obsessing about the bikini thing for now, and stop calling yourself 'ugly' Start a daily gratitude journal where you jot down 5 things for which you're grateful, eat healthy foods, get exercise (you don't need a gym - walking, squats, push-ups = old standards), and don't freak about it. You will get there
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:43 PM   #10
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I don't think gaining and losing 5-10 pounds is what gives people loose skin. Now gaining and losing 50-100 pounds? That's what does it. (speaking from experience). Stress is a huge hindrance to health. I am guessing that this stress and anxiety you are focusing on loose skin is actually coming from something else in your life, especially since you are having this problem with binging. Take a step back and look at what else is happening in your life. It may be that there are some un-dealt with emotions you need to face.

And yes, if a person loves you, he will not care about a few stretch marks or even the dreaded Loose Skin!! I have it, and guess what? My boyfriend still thinks I'm sexy and the universe has not collapsed
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Old 06-04-2012, 06:03 PM   #11
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Sweetie, nobody makes it through this life without a few battle wounds. It sounds like you're doing it the right way to try and prevent stretch marks. Unfortunately, there's just not much control you can exercise over this other than what you're already doing. You're young, your skin is probably pretty pliant, and you weren't hugely, hugely overweight, so those are factors that work in your favor. At the same time, I bet if you asked 20 people your age if they had any stretch marks, if they were being honest, probably 19 of them would say yes- not just from losing/gaining weight but from developing during puberty, growing taller quickly, etc. It sounds like your options are to quit losing weight or risk a couple marks/a little loose skin. Sounds like you've already decided to pick the right option.
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Old 06-04-2012, 06:25 PM   #12
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You don't need a gym. You do need to commit to making the time, if your goal is to look more fit. 1 hour a day is 4% of your day, which really isn't that much when you think about it. Most people find that they spend more than an hour a day at sedentary leisure activities like watching TV, reading books, etc. Additionally, you don't have to do all your activity at once! You can squeeze in 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. You should shoot for 30 minutes a day MINIMUM but an hour a day is better. Try and do something you enjoy that is a sustainable change. You could walk, dance, skate, jog, lift weights, do yoga, martial arts, etc. I stopped going to the gym despite the fact that I had a cheap membership of only $29 a month and started just doing videos at home. And don't forget that things like housework and gardening and yard work all count towards your daily target for exercise. Even just parking further out and walking more can help get you to your target. I think if you started by saying that you would commit to 3 daily bouts of 10 minutes of exercise each, that you'd find it's really easy to do. If you prefer to have some social aspect to your exercise, than a gym or a yoga, martial arts or dance studio may be more to your liking. If you like outdoors stuff, consider joining a local "Meetup" group. I just did that myself, in the hopes that I will meet other folks who like to do outside stuff like hiking and canoeing. Good luck!
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Old 06-10-2012, 06:28 PM   #13
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I don't know your height but 145p isn't bad at all! You won't get loose skin, I highly doubt it.

When I was young I weighed 155 and got down to 127, my skin was fine. I have issues with loose mid-section now only because I have a child.

Don't fret.
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Old 06-10-2012, 09:11 PM   #14
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Not to have stretch marks, do what pregnant women do: use creams with A vitamin after the shower, and you skin will get strong enough to unstretch without leaving marks.
You'll be ok! Young skin recovers well! Give your body the best food you can find, the best exercise, the best everthing. Treat youself like a queen, respect yourself, and people will do it too!
Good luck!
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Old 06-15-2012, 11:38 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ValRock View Post
Nobody has a perfect body. Even the people that do have a lot of help from photoshop .
Great line!
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