My breasts are downright depressing lately

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  • Quote: I am reading and learning so much from all these posts about boobs and bras. I am TRYING to hold off until almost to goal to get new bras, but may not make it that long, especially at the slow rate I am losing now
    Anyways, I have a couple questions
    What do you guys like about the plunge bra, what are the benefits and who should wear one? I don't think I have ever tried one of those on. Is it more for someone who has more tissue lower on the breast?
    Also, what is a gore? I haven't heard that term yet. How do you know what kind of gore a bra has?
    Just learning and dreaming of the day I am at goal in an awesome bra
    Jomatho- did you look into altering bras in the meantime? It really can help both your posture and the effects of gravity in the meantime.

    Plunge bras have their purpose but it really depends on your breast type. Personally, I can't wear them very often at all because I have very soft breast tissue so my breasts don't stay in place! They breast tissue spill towards the middle instead... even in perfectly fitting plunges.

    That being said, they can be a good option for women with firmer breasts, especially breasts that are full on top. Often women with this time of breasts struggle to find breasts that don't cut into their breast tissue on the top without getting a bra that the wires are too wide/can't fill out the bottom. Thus, plunges are less bra so it cuts back on this issue.

    The center gore is the part of your bra that sits between your breasts. In a plunge the center gore is very low so your breasts are pushed together (and if you have very soft breasts that can mean your breasts actually touch while wearing the bra). A high center gore would mean that your breasts are separated at all times (really good for soft breasts to prevent spillage towards the center but can be irritating for firmer breasts because it could actually work against the breast shape).

    It's really important, though, that the center gore sit flat against your sternum (and you can't pull it away from your chest when your bra is fastened). If it doesn't sit flat it normally means that your cups are too small and/or your band is too big. In some rare cases women have such close set breasts that they can never get the center gore to sit properly but on most women this is not an issue.
  • Well, thank you for that explanation!
    I have no idea what type of breasts I have Let's see, they are big, they are much softer now than they used to be, but still have a lot of dense tissue (fibrocystic). They are lower now than they used to be, but I would say the tissue is pretty evenly placed. I fill my bras out completely top and bottom and if the cups are too small I tend to spill out the middle and end up with 4 boobs, I hate that. I have never had a bra where the gore sat against my sternum, but that was before I knew how to measure. I will know better now.
    I am thinking a plunge would not work for me, I have trouble keeping the girls out of the middle as it is.
    Yes, I have been altering my bras, just cinching/zigzagging a little off the band every once in a while and the straps as needed. It is working for now, but I am itching to get bra shopping. I know I will lose more off my boobs though if I ever get to goal, so I hate to spend good money yet.
  • I sympathize with the bra issue.

    My poor girls are old, and long, and basically like half set jello poured into a balloon. I tried on 13 bras today, bought 2. Not perfect, but the best I could find in my local Wal Mart. There is no other store where I live that sells bras.

    Need a trip to the city.
  • runningfromfat, thank you!!! I REALLY like that first bra (love the wider, thicker straps), and am going to order and try it. I also read your post about the soft breast tissue, and I definitely have that issue... so I'm wondering whether a plunge will work for me at all at this weight since I haven't tried one (haven't found one!) in so long. But we shall see. I'll also look at the seamed cup ones and the balconettes with the lower center gore (I used to love balconettes as well, and the low center gore sounds like it will really help with my sternum).

    Ellie and shcirerf, thank you, and even though it's nice to not be alone, I'm sorry you're having these issues too! I wish we could just pick and choose where the weight comes off and keep the nice boobs all filled out with fat.

    jomatho, given your descriptions, let us know what you end up getting and what kind of bras work well for you! It can only be helpful for others here too who might read the thread. (I wouldn't have known about the soft breast tissue thing had runningfromfat not mentioned it!)
  • chickadee- no problem! I really hope you find something that works for you. I think plunges can be ok for special occasions but you might have to readjust often when you have softer breast tissue. I don't own a plunge at the moment but will probably pick one once I hit goal and my breast size stabalizes but as an everyday bra it's not something I'd recommend.

    shcirerf- yes, definitely try the city! Walmart is going to have a pretty small size selection. Also, don't be afraid to order online. Brastop and ebay uk normally have some great prices.

    jomatho- if you've never had a center gore that lays against your sternum that your bra size has been pretty far off this whole time. Most likely you need a much smaller band with bigger cups. hopefully you hit goal soon and can get some awesome bras!
  • Just found this thread and although it's old...it's exactly what I needed just now. I need to stop comparing myself to these ridiculous perky celebrities that have probably all had plastic surgery.
  • I've been having breast depression as of late. They're so deflated and bleh at this point that even my partner has started ignoring them when we're intimate because they just don't do anything anymore -- for either of us. All I can do is hide them in a bra because they're just nothing special anymore and it's really upsetting! I want a boob job.
  • Even at my heaviest I had small boobs and now that I've lost weight they are really small (but not droopy fortunately). But I work out a lot so my DH has turned from a boob man into an a$$ man LOL
  • Mine were a 38D when I was at 230 and now are something like a 38 C/D? I am losing volume when I wear a D-cup bra.

    Depressed b/c I thought it was one of my better features - I have an average bum / face / etc.

  • My breasts are horrid ! They are just bags of loose skin now..all wrinkly and droopy..they aren't even symetrical anymore..I am really going to need to see a plastic surgeon when all is said and done. oh well for the time being its nothing that a good padded push up bra cant fix !
  • I know surgery isn't an option for everyone, but I had my breasts done after in,ost the weight, and it has been such a great decision. We could only afford one surgery (boobs or tummy tuck) and my breasts were a bigger issue for me. I lost all volume and was left with empty, limp tissue. My pec muscles and ribs were visible and they were making me feel deformed. I can deal with stretchmarks everywhere, sagging skin in areas, etc, but for ME, the breast issue was too much for me.

    I didn't need a lift, just a volume change. Seems to me that unless someone is VERY naturally gifted, it is just not possible to be tiny and have large breasts. Maybe thatis why it can be considered desirable...hard to achieve and "rare". I am pear-shaped and I feel the surgery has balanced me out.
  • Oh, I can relate! I was a D cup pre-weight gain, then a DD to DDD with excess weight and now, I have ugly - NOT sexy, deflated balloons. The one thing I felt good about my body was my BREASTS.

    I am struggling so much right now with my body image. I thought when I lost all this weight I would go back to having this great 36-26-36 body. I am more physically fit than ever. I work out with a trainer 2 x per week and actually have biceps and definition in my shoulders, something I never had. I do have some sag in my arms, but it is the rest of me. I do have a small, flat torso, but that is about it. My butt sags, my tummy has skin hanging over, and my thighs are awful. I am even putting silicon padding in my bra. On top of that, my face, which most said was "pretty" 20-30 lbs ago, now just looks OLD and wrinkled. I look even worse when I smile!

    Sometimes I feel like crying. I don't want to just look good in clothes. I want to feel sexy and I can't knowing what I look like underneath. For my face to fill out, it feels like my only option is to gain weight, which I do NOT want to do. In fact, I want to lose about 5 to 10 more. I think that maybe if I lose more, some of the sag will go away. The other option is lots of plastic surgery. I am actually okay with that. Although I haven't worked out the money part yet.

    So, I kind of think I should get plastic surgery...tighten things up (remove some of the fat in my problem areas)...maybe get a mini face lift and then gain a little weight back. Now this next part sounds twisted...I always told myself it was about how I looked not what the scale says...but NOW, something visceral in me recoils at the thought of gaining a single OUNCE. On top of that, I like the sound of "145 to 155" more than "175," which seems to be where my FACE (not my body) looks its best.

    I just spent so many years being invisible and unattractive to the opposite sex that I thought it would be different when I lost the weight. Now that I have, I want to feel like men find me attractive and I am beginning to feel like I am going to be unattractive no matter what. I am so upset with myself. I feel like I wasted my attractive years in a bowl of ice cream!

    I probably sound like a cry baby. I am NOT sorry I lost the weight. I just WISH I had done it sooner. I am really struggling with this and it is something that none of my friends or family understand.

    Oh - I forgot to say my age - 45.
  • I feel for you LisaMacG, as someone who started where you were and still has a long way to go, it is a daily struggle to not focus on all the imperfections that I'm going to be left with after "abusing" my body for so long.

    At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that we are not celebrities, we will never have perfect bodies. But that doesn't mean we can't have bodies that we are happy with. I don't know how long ago you reached you're current weight, but it's going to take time for your body to settle. You've got great definition in your biceps and shoulders? Awesome, now start working on your thighs and butt. You can sculpt them with training just like you did your arms.

    You're open to plastic surgery (me too, I'm gonna need it for my breasts for sure), which means you can fix some of the things that are a problem for you.

    In my opinion the most important thing you need to remember about being attractive to others is being attractive to yourself. If you think you look good, others will pick up on it. You've lost a lot weight and despite a few imperfections I'm sure you look great.

    So go get your hair and nails did, buy yourself some sexy/naughty/pretty/bright coloured/whatever works for you lingerie and take a few selfies in the mirror. Then compare those photo's to your before pictures and I'm sure you're gonna be impressed.

    You're not a crybaby. Everyone dealing with losing a lot of weight goes through this. It doesn't matter that you didn't do it sooner, you DID IT! And you should be proud. You're amazing! Don't forget it!
  • I felt the same way, watching "the girls" shrink down to size AA, untile there was nothing left of them. Even as I was enjoying my weight loss I was so discouraged by losing that part of myself. I tried to accept it but I didn't feel feminine at all. So... for the last couple of years I've been saving up some money for an augmentation and finally had it done five weeks ago. I AM THRILLED! The surgery wasn't a cakewalk and I was in a lot of pain for a day or two afterward, but it was totally worth it. My shape is more balanced and I'm not self conscious about my shrunken chest anymore.

    Surgery isn't right for everyone but it was definitely right for me. Even though I have implants I feel more like "myself" than I have in a long time.
  • Let's see...I was always quite chesty...a 34DD in high school and college. My breasts were never perky but I was fine with them and if I lifted my arms in the air...they looked pretty good.

    Then I started gaining weight and my girls grew and grew. At my heaviest I think I was a 40H? And those bras were probably getting too snug.

    Now I'm a 34G and my breasts are downright pitiful. There's so much loose skin...they don't even look that perky in a pushup bra.

    I've started looking at my naked body in the mirror...really looking at it. It could be better but it could be a whole lot worse. I was advised not to get my breasts done until after I've had kids (which isn't something I'm planning in the foreseeable future) but I don't look half bad with my clothes on so for now...that's going to have to be good enough.