230 heaviest, 215 when I started working out 7/3/09 after a lifetime of being obese, 135.5 now, 125.5 lowest (trying to get there and lower, 107.5-108 lbs goal weight... why? Because it's the lowest I can have with a "normal" BMI). 33 years old now. And honestly, my best body image was at 230 lbs!! Anyone feel fatter the skinnier they get?
And I can so feel now if I gain a lb or five. And I guess if I gain 5 lbs now it makes sense I feel it more than at 230 lbs.
Mind trip, isn't it? The skinnier I get the more I hate my body :/ Eh, I got a lifetime to adjust. I tell people I don't suffer from my issues, I enjoy the heck out of them
Weight loss is a mental game as much as it is physical. I was happy when I was over 200lbs, but I was also in denial. Sure, it was nice to not scrutinize my body like I do now, but there is so much more I can do at this weight and I'm sure you feel the same.
One thing that has done wonders for my body image is lifting heavy weights. Rather than trying to push yourself down to the lowest you can possibly weigh, you might consider taking up weightlifting which will completely change your body and make you look great as a nice bonus. I'm sure you'd rather be a fit, toned, 125lbs than a flabby 108lbs.
I get that sometimes. I think it's because, as the overall picture becomes better, we become more focused on the flaws. For instance, at my high weight, I didn't worry so much about my arms. I mean, yeah, they resembled overstuffed sausage casings, but they were about on par with the rest of me. And since I didn't like any of the rest of me, well, they just simply weren't that bad.
Now I'm in a better position (not good, but better), and all I see are my problem areas. My face looks a million times better, as do my legs, and most of my body. But when I look in the mirror, all I see are my bat-wing arms and my stubborn upper stomach fat. I feel like I look worse than before, even when photographic evidence disagrees.
I think our brains are wired to focus on those sorts of things to the exclusion of everything else.
I feel this completely. It's terrible. My lowest weight was 124 and I still wasn't near happy. I felt even more large than my 156. I still do, actually. It's something I think I'll be struggling with for a while.
Thinking about weight is now an impediment. I must strive to be the fittest I can be!
I strive to:
-Walk 5 miles on un-gym days
-Run 5 miles at least once a week
-Go to the gym (weight training) about 3 times a week
-Have a mostly protein diet
The first time I lost weight, about 10 years ago, I got to this weight and still thought I was fat and hated my body. Eventually I gained the weight back.
This time I got to this weight and I LOVE my body and I'm thrilled with my weight loss and don't feel the need to change myself any further.
Maybe it's maturity. Maybe it's just that I had a different mindset this time. I knew I'd never look like a bikini model, I just wanted to be healthier. If anything, I look WORSE now than I did then, because losing, regaining and losing 100 lb is not kind to the body, nor is age.
It's all about mental acceptance. If you can't accept some flaws, you're always going to be unhappy. Nobody has a perfect body, not even the models you see in magazines. They are all photoshopped. I'm not wasting my life worrying about what my body looks like anymore. There are such better things to do with life
It takes SO much longer for your brain to catch up to your weight loss. Every time I'm at goal I am dissatisfied. The first time it was that my thighs were still too big. Many years later I'd come to terms with my thighs but I became convinced my head looked disproportionately big. CRAZY, I know.
There are lots of books on this topic. I can't remember any titles off hand, but things on the subject of your brain seeing your weight loss. Body dysmorphia is real and it's what's going on in many of us.
Have you talked to your doctor about your goal weight? It does seem a touch low and if it's unrealistic you're setting yourself up for failure and sadness.
I'm sorry you're feeling ickier after losing. I'm impressed with your losses and journey. I hope your brain catches up to how hot I'm sure you are now (and likely always were).
I think this why I'm stuck. I'm brain is catching up cause some days I feel like I don't look any different (I KNOW that sounds crazy) but it's true. Then other days I feel good......Thanks for posting this, I really think its a mental game, our perception needs to change.