This is my first time posting in this community but looking through the forums, I think I will be visiting often!
Here's my problem.
Firstly, I'm not done losing weight but over the last two years I went from 303 lbs to 150 with just diet and exercise. My end goal is 130 and I have no doubts I will get there eventually. I do have loose skin and I don't like it but I'm much more happy with that than I was with having an extra 150 lbs of fat on my body.
I'm not particularly self-conscious about the skin but of course I can't wait until I fix it or save up enough money for the surgery. I've had a pretty active dating life for the last year and I've never really had an issue when it comes time to show off my body to my new friends. I've dated some very good looking athletic type guys who actually found it kind of hot. One guy even called it "my battle scars" and would go on and on about how amazing I was because I did what I did.
Well this last guy I dated changed all that and my self esteem has just taken a nose dive. I actually really liked this guy too. He wasn't super hot or athletic like some of the other guys I dated. He was 5'10 and 205lbs so pretty chubby himself. But when the clothes came off with him, he just kind of froze. It was absolutely apparent that he was not happy with the way my body looked. He kept his eyes tightly closed the whole time, he barely touched me, he barely did any work. After the first couple of times we had sex I decided that it was probably best to cut things off since I could feel myself getting more and more self-conscious about it and my self esteem was taking a hit. No man is worth that. He was also kind of obsessed with porn stars and strippers and actresses with perfect bodies and stuff which exacerbated the problem and frankly made me resentful... it was just too much. I told him that I just thought we were incompatible and he begged me not to leave him. He begged. But nothing changed in the bedroom. Things just took a nose-dive and he ended up dumping me about a month later saying that we were incompatible. My heart was broken but hey, it happens.
This was a few months ago that the break up happened and I moved on. Plenty more fish in the sea. Last night I got an e-mail about a new message from a website forum that I used to frequent when we were together. He actually convinced me to sign up for it. He must have forgot that I had an account because I was scrolling through the threads and there was one there about dating girls who used to be fat but are now hot. I was reading all the comments and there was one that said (this is copy and paste) "Hold off on calling them hot until you get their clothes off. I dated a girl that lost 150 lbs in a year and a half and she looked awesome in clothes but when they came off she had loose skin EVERYWHERE! She was really self-conscious about it. And with good reason. It was pretty revolting." Looked at the name of the poster to see who would post something so mean spirited and lo and behold it was my ex.
Ok, seriously??? I mean that guy was cute and funny but he wasn't anything that would make you break your neck, ya know? Plus he was kind of a weirdo and really immature so I'm not thinking he has lines of girls banging down his door to get in.
My skin is already better looking than it was when I was with him. And it's only going to keep getting better the more I keep working at it. His personality will probably be sh*tty for the rest of his life.
I don't know why I care so much. But I have a feeling this is going to rear it's head with the next guy I date now.
Has anyone here ever had to deal with such a mean comment? How do you bounce back from something like this?