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Fear of skinny-ugly

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Old 10-16-2011, 09:11 PM   #1
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Default Fear of skinny-ugly

So I've seen the numbers on my scale go down, and my clothes are definitely fitting better. I started to look around at work to see what kind of body I was going to have soon. And I came to a HORRIBLE conclusion. Thin women are NOT necessarily pretty! Some are, of course, but there are so many women wearing clothes that don't really fit right or whose hair is from the 80s... don't pretend you don't know what I am talking about .
I've never been very good at knowing what looks good on me and I had assumed that it was because of the extra weight. I assumed that when I was down to my goal weight it would be easy to find clothes that fit and I would automatically stunning. I'm starting to think I've got my work cut out for me. I even bought a few fashion magazines but getting through them was HARD and I don't think I got ANYTHING out of reading them.
My question is for Maintenance Chicks - was it easier to dress yourselves once you were skinny?
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:21 PM   #2
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Absolutely easier. The clothes are much more attractive and you can buy them in normal dress department. No more Queen Size department. no more sizes that start with XLarge, no more elastic waist band pants, no more sweat pants.
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Old 10-16-2011, 11:18 PM   #3
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I think it's easier, but it takes some practice.

Step out of you comfort zone and try on stuff you never would have before!
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Old 10-17-2011, 12:34 AM   #4
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I think we're actually talking about the skinny-can'tdressright. Yes, it's definitely easier to dress yourself. I'm spending a ridiculous amount of time on my outfits. As for fashion magazines, I stay away from them. I find them super unhelpful. I'd rather stick to fashion blogs and websites, frugal-fashionistas.com is one of my favourites.
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Old 10-17-2011, 08:34 AM   #5
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Good to know. I'm saving up for a shopping spree when I'm at my goal - maybe I should take a skinny-CAN-dress-right friend who is used to shopping for a skinny body.
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Old 10-17-2011, 08:52 AM   #6
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I understand, what else is (im not meaning this in a horrible way or bragging) I have actually been blessed with quite a pretty face just a rubbish body...I have seen pictures of woman who were big and beautiful and once they lose weight their faces just look drawn and not as pretty, im worried this will happen to me

As for dressing, you will get used to it and being able to pick more clothes means you will start to get your own style.xxx
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Old 10-17-2011, 09:01 AM   #7
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It doesn't hurt to start really thinking about what style you want and how that will fit with your body type. One thing that this journey has helped me to see is how much BETTER well-fitting clothes look. I'm really curvy and it makes it hard to find clothes that fit me well. I've never been able to buy button down shirts off of the rack even at my skinniest. The would always be way too big in the waist and make me look a lot bigger than I actually was.

However, I've taken this time to figure out what works well for me, brands that specialize in curvy-friendly clothes and also I've found that well-fitting bras are a must (not just in terms of appearance but they make my back a lot happier too! ). I even started a blog to try and help other women with the same body type as me find clothes.

I'm still not super glamorous. But it's helped immensely with my self-confidence and DH isn't complaining either. When I was at my highest weight I really let myself go and put about zero effort into my appearance, I'm trying to change that now.
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Old 10-17-2011, 09:41 AM   #8
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I really want to go on a shopping spree when I'm at my goal weight. I really need to take some friends along though; they would be able to help me find clothes that flatter my new body. It helps that my very good friends are all fashion-oriented I just really have no idea how to dress anymore.

I've said this before elsewhere on 3FC, but I maintained my 200 pound weight for five years. In that time I learned how to dress to flatter my shape and I was always complimented on the outfits I picked out. I amassed a large amount of clothes in that time too and it was always fun to go closet shopping, find something that I hadn't worn for a while and make it new again

I was a pear shape back then, and I knew how to dress for it. Now I'm some sort of top-heavy hourglass shape and I'm figuring out how to properly flatter it. I'm having a lot more fun showing my new body off right now (just bought a nice, tight dress that I would have never worn before ) but I clearly need someone to just go shopping with me and point out what I should and shouldn't wear.
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Old 10-17-2011, 12:43 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shcirerf View Post
I think it's easier, but it takes some practice.

Step out of you comfort zone and try on stuff you never would have before!
This is great advice. I, too, am not really great at finding stunning clothes for myself (I mean, I get by and look "fine" or "nice," but not stunning). However, on the few occasions when I've let someone else pick my clothes for me, I always get compliments on how I look. If I were rich, I would hire a personal shopper!
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Old 10-17-2011, 01:02 PM   #10
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It's SO much easier when you're slimmer -- I went the other way (up) and have been miserable trying to find clothes. It always seems my waistband is trying to strangle me, with "stuff" spilling over the top.

I realize this is a terrible name for a show, but it's a great resource for your purposes: the TLC television show called "What Not To Wear." The focus is on some basic rules of proportion, what goes with what, how to add your personality, and most of all -- what FITS. The two hosts, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly, have written several books and if you google the show you'll find lots of useful "how-to" videos. There may be re-runs too. I agree, fashion magazines are confusing.
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Old 10-17-2011, 03:32 PM   #11
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It is amazing what some well fitting, flattering styles can do for your body, not matter what body shape you have. I guess it is about experimentation and seeing what works with your shape. I tend to go for basic fashions really, I like what I like now.

I must admit I do try to wear some more daring things (always very classic though!) just to make the most of the shape I have now.
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Old 10-17-2011, 04:20 PM   #12
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Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.

What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.

Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.

To answer your question: shopping is amazingly easy now comparatively speaking. But also somewhat overwhelming because now I can find so many things that fit. But I doubt anyone would say my style is much different now from what it's always been. It just fits better.
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Old 10-18-2011, 01:57 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k8yk View Post
Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.
What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.
Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.
I couldn't have summed it up better. In terms of "who looks better," well we all look different. When I lost weight the only thing magical that happened to me was that I was able to shop at the mall. So really, it was the availability of clothes that was helpful.
Besides that, I think the biggest things that clothes do for me is that they help me feel good. Whether I'm dressed up at 195 lbs or dressed up at 135 lbs, I'll feel just as good. I started paying attention to the way I dressed when I got down to 175 lbs and the confidence boost I got from it was amazing. Clothes have that neat trick. Weight is relative. I've seen 250 lbs fashion bloggers who look amazing. And you can tell by looking at them that they feel amazing too.
You can look good in the right clothes at any weight. I'm living proof. Sometimes I look at my progress photos and even some photos in the upper 100's look very stylish
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Old 10-19-2011, 06:32 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k8yk View Post
Ah yes, the old myth: Lose weight and you will be beautiful and the world will open up to you and everything will be wonderful because thin and pretty = success and happiness.

What a bunch of bullocks. There are miserable thin people, beautiful fat people, and ugly in shape people. And there are very beautiful people who can't dress themselves, very ugly people with amazing senses of style, and every possible combination of the above.

Life is about a lot more than being thin and pretty. Dressing well is nice, it certainly helps to give off the impression you wish to give off. But don't buy the myth- weight is just weight. Losing it won't make anything magical happen.

To answer your question: shopping is amazingly easy now comparatively speaking. But also somewhat overwhelming because now I can find so many things that fit. But I doubt anyone would say my style is much different now from what it's always been. It just fits better.
You've said what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. Clothes are my nemesis and I hate shopping at the best of times. My husband tells me I don't shop. I hunt.

"I need black pants."
*Walk into first store, squint, spot something black, pounce and purchase.*
"DONE" (triumphantly)

And then, of course, I get home and put them on and find out that they pull funny in the back, and are too long. But I wear them anyway because I need black pants.

I was really hoping that my new body (when I get it) would just look good in anything, but it looks like I'm going to have to create a new mindset about clothes AND develop new shopping techniques.

And Imperialistic, I definitely envy your gift! Did you develop your style purposefully, or did it just come naturally?

Last edited by ironlovehandles : 10-19-2011 at 06:34 AM.
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Old 10-19-2011, 06:53 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironlovehandles View Post
You've said what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. Clothes are my nemesis and I hate shopping at the best of times. My husband tells me I don't shop. I hunt.

"I need black pants."
*Walk into first store, squint, spot something black, pounce and purchase.*
"DONE" (triumphantly)

And then, of course, I get home and put them on and find out that they pull funny in the back, and are too long. But I wear them anyway because I need black pants.

I was really hoping that my new body (when I get it) would just look good in anything, but it looks like I'm going to have to create a new mindset about clothes AND develop new shopping techniques.

And Imperialistic, I definitely envy your gift! Did you develop your style purposefully, or did it just come naturally?
Well, if you don't like the actual act of shopping... why don't you research online more? Look at reviews for items that you're interested in. Then you could go to that specific store that you've already read the reviews for or just order online and return it if you don't like it.

Is there something specifically that you hate when it comes to trying on clothes in the store? Is there a reason you don't try them on there?
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Started at 240
Onederland 199 (Jan 6, 2010, exactly 2 years after my previous due date!)
Overweight BMI 185 (Aug 3, 2011, one year after joining 3FC!)
Pre-pregnancy weight 175 (Oct 18, 2011)
Called Goal 156

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