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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

"Body Frame"

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Old 07-24-2011, 08:32 PM   #1
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Maybe I truly have been making excuses for myself. Maybe other people were adding on to my excuses.

Do you ever hear "You're meant to be built like that" and "that's just how my frame is?" and things such as that? Well, I've been told that I have a big body frame, and even if I loose a lot of weight, I'll still be bigger. I believed this for a while. Family told me, doctor's told me, etc.

But then I notice the before and after pictures of many people with successful, wonderful weight loss results. Their "before's" looked like they would even have a "big frame" if they lost all the weight...but they ended up looking really tiny after. No "big frame-skinny" at all (if that makes any sense).

So if the "different frame" thing a myth? This probably sounds like a stupid question, but I'm not sure how else to get it answered. :/
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:58 PM   #2
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I dunno whether or not this is true. I know some people have smaller frames than others in the sense that smaller frames don't carry weight as well as bigger frames. And maybe a bigger frame will prevent you from being a size zero, like if your hip bones are wide-set. But there's no reason to believe it'll keep you from getting the kind of figure you'd love!
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:14 PM   #3
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I think it is somewhat, I thought I was always thick, big bony wrists, big fingers that didn't seem chubby, big shoes and a thick neck. Now I wear size 8 ring, my neck lost 2 inches down to 6 inches, my wrists are under 7 inches and I still have big feet although I lost over a shoe size.
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Old 07-25-2011, 01:57 AM   #4
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I've been hearing that from my mom pretty much all my life! The old "you're big-boned" theory. Now there is some truth to that, I do have a large frame and I am taller than most girls, so I was always able to hold my weight better than someone with a smaller frame at my same height and weight. For example, my wrists and ankles (we're talking bone here) are definitely thicker. I also have a good amount of thicker muscle, especially on my legs. I'm a strong, thick woman, not a dainty little thing. I have wide shoulders and wide feet.
That said, I have plenty of room for losing weight! I think what it should ultimately come down to is body fat. Large or small frame, it comes down to the composition of your body. I have plenty of body fat to lose, even on my bigger frame. No matter how much I do lose, I would probably never be smaller than a size 8 or 10-it's just not how my body is composed!
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Old 07-25-2011, 02:22 AM   #5
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Im quite Tick set too. Im "wide" my hip bones are wide apart,my rib cage is wide. atm i have very little extra fat on my rib cage (yey) so the bones arent going to get any closer together, so i will always be "wide". Its sad (((((
My waist is going to be tiny though!.....no bones there!!!!! lol!
Make the best of what youve got! thats all anyone can do!

I will always look bigger than i am , face on in pics,-spometimes wider than fatter people, but side on is where you notice it on me.
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Old 07-25-2011, 07:06 AM   #6
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It's really hard to tell sometimes, but I truly think we DO have different frames, and I can see it in myself.

I really don't know what the smallest size I'll ever be able to be is, but I can bet it's NOT a size 0. At my current weight and a size 10/12, I can already feel my hip bones emerging. I can also feel my ribs and I wear a 36" band bra, however it's a little tight. I'd probably fit into the 36" perfectly once I finish my weight loss journey (there really isn't much fat at all left around my ribs). I know I have a wider back and hips hidden under all of this as it runs in the family.

It can really be hard to tell a person's size from before and after pictures, as everyone carries their weight differently. I'm sure that if you were to ask people on this forum what size they ended up as, they'd be glad to mention it after all that hard work!
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Old 07-25-2011, 10:59 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by ZebraBri View Post
Maybe I truly have been making excuses for myself. Maybe other people were adding on to my excuses.

Do you ever hear "You're meant to be built like that" and "that's just how my frame is?" and things such as that? Well, I've been told that I have a big body frame, and even if I loose a lot of weight, I'll still be bigger. I believed this for a while. Family told me, doctor's told me, etc.

But then I notice the before and after pictures of many people with successful, wonderful weight loss results. Their "before's" looked like they would even have a "big frame" if they lost all the weight...but they ended up looking really tiny after. No "big frame-skinny" at all (if that makes any sense).

So if the "different frame" thing a myth? This probably sounds like a stupid question, but I'm not sure how else to get it answered. :/
I am going to echo a little of what everyone here said. IMO, I think that when you see those people who appear to be teeny tiny, it could be for several reasons: they might be dehydrated (if you are watching a really low sodium food plan you won't have as much bloat), they might have used weights to replace fat (which takes up more space) with muscle which gives you a leaner look, and finally they just might have a smaller frame (just might--not necessarily).

Also, there are a lot of books written by experienced body builders and such that will give you specific exercises to work specific groups of muscles so that you can essentially do a "trompe l'oeil" (french for "fool the eye"). It was said that Bo Derek was told to do a lot of upper body exercises so that her waist would look a lot smaller and hence a "10" for the movie. People who make their bodies their "work" know all of this. If you really have your heart set on having a "perfect" tiny figure then do some research at the library and I think you will find lots of books out there to help you.

P.S. I am currently doing a lot of exercises for my wide hips and thunder thighs ---lots of reps with low weights (you will never see me go higher than 8 lbs but you might see me do 100 reps of 8 different exercises) so that I am sculpting them to look "thinner". It is working(within 7 weeks). I have already gone down 1 pant size although I have only lost 2 lbs on the actual scale. On the other hand, I have a large bust and therefore a tendency to have poor posture so I am doing a lot of shoulder and upper back exercises so I have a better posture. Stand in front of a mirror sideways and purposely slouch. You will definitely see a difference! Also, a straighter back makes your waist look smaller.

Exercise smarter not harder. That is my spin on this topic. GL.
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Old 07-25-2011, 01:05 PM   #8
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I think our skeletons are all a little bit different, but not so much as people think. The difference between a "small frame" and a "large frame" are nothing most people will notice.

If you weight more and look thinner, it's probably due to a lot of muscle. People frequently guess my weight around 130, but I've never weighed under 160 in my adult life. I even had one girl insist I was 110 (LOL, talk about misguided ideas of what weight looks like!)

So while I do think some of our "healthy weights" can be a bit higher, it's not because of big bones- it's because of muscle. You're not destined to be big, that's for sure. But you also might not be able to weigh as little as someone else without making yourself sick. Can you imagine what I would look like if I really did weight 110? I'd be dead.
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Old 07-25-2011, 06:25 PM   #9
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A little truth...mostly MYTH! I too have heard this before from family. Truth of the matter is that, for the most part, all skeletons weight the same. I don't believe anyone's bones are heavier than the next.

That said, different people have different "genetic" purportions. Some tend to carry weight up top an less down below and visa versa. However, even though a person may be limited in certain aspects of purportion (i.e. boobs), most areas can be totally restructured. BUT it takes more than just "losing weight". HEAVY WEIGHT TRAINING, can give a flatbutted woman a nice round butt. Will it make her look like J-lo or Beyonce? I think not...but she can totally reshape her rump into somewhat of a rump-shaker!

Have a large frame/torso, there are specific exercises that will build size, strength in your lower half, while tightening your waistline and creating a more symmetric balance.

Never let someone tell you what you CANNOT do, but find those who have DONE IT and ask them how. Congrats on your weight loss thus far...65lbs is nothing to sneeze at!
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Old 07-25-2011, 06:33 PM   #10
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Thanks everyone for the replies! It's frustrating to think about haha, because so many people tell you one thing, and then people who've lost weight tells me another. But the responses I've gotten on here are good, and have made me think.
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Old 07-28-2011, 12:16 AM   #11
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My younger sister JUST told me about how we're built to be big and our whole family is big boned etc. I think she fails to remember me 10 years ago at 112 pounds! I was very tiny almost too small. I started having babies and packed on the pounds along with it. By no means do I want to be that small EVER again. But I dont agree with her! My bone structure hasn't changed just whats hanging from it!
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Old 07-28-2011, 01:01 AM   #12
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As a yo-yo-er for many, many years, I have had the opportunity to find out exactly what it means to have a large frame. Though I am only 5'2", even when I WAS a size "0" - I went down to a GIRL'S size 14 - I was never a waif. I think that's the difference. I have a large frame (as defined by wrist measurement) and the main difference is that no matter how skinny I ever get, I will always look like a short, clunky person. My ankles get bony but the bones themselves never get smaller. When I am skinny, I just have big, bony wrists and ankles. Also, though it does get thinner when I lose weight, my neck is still short and thick at any weight.

So I just never look like Kate Moss or Mary Kate Olsen no matter how skinny I get.
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Old 07-28-2011, 09:53 AM   #13
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You're sooo right! When I tell people what I weigh, they're alwasy shocked. I look much lighter than my weight. I used to be confused about that, but now I know I have nothing to worry about. People tell me that for my height I should weigh about 60-65kg ideally, but when I lost weight to 64kg I looked skeletal! My eyes popping out and all, I lacked energy. Of course I gained it back rapidly, but now I know I dont have to aim so low cos it's just not how I was meant to be. My feet are larger than most women I know (finding my shoe size is a challenge), I have a small waist and relatively flat stomach and almost no fat in my upper body (I see my ribs when I stretch my arms), but my waist measurements is higher that a friend of mine who wears a size 8 and has a pudgy belly. My back and shoulder width are higher than average (a friend of mine makes clothes so I always see the statistics), so yeah, I know that some people have larger/heavier 'bones' or 'frames' than other people, and it's nothing to worry about. Everyone cannot look the same, even people of the same height. FYI, my brother has his gigantic shoes made specifically for him!
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Old 07-28-2011, 11:49 AM   #14
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I have a LARGE frame but I'm short so I look a little stocky. My hands are huge, and my feet are size 11s and WIDE. However, I think that this frame makes muscle look amazing. I have a really great décolletage area and a pretty exaggerated hourglass shape. I've been losing inches from my waist, not so much from my bust and hips. Sometimes I wish I was tall and waif-ish but even if I get down to my goal weight I think I'm still going to look larger than other women my height. Oh well... My husband digs the hobbit look I guess.
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Old 07-30-2011, 01:14 AM   #15
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I agree with a PP-- mostly myth with a little truth. I'm pretty tall for a girl, so I carry my weight well. Just a few days ago in a doctor's office, the nurse thought I weighed under 150. It's all a matter of proportion, which gives people the perception of someone being fat or skinny.

At my lowest weight pre-baby, I was 160, a loose size 8, and I felt pretty good at that weight. At a 6, which is my goal, I think I'll appear comparable to a 5' person who's a size 2 or maybe even a 0. Now, if I ever were a size 0 myself, which I will never be, I'm sure I would look downright anorexic. A size 0 can look healthy, though, for a short girl-- it's all in the proportions.

Just because you're taller does not mean you're "large framed." You'll still look thin once you lose the weight. The difference is your "thin" look will be a bigger size number than a shorter girl, but you'll still both look great and both look thin.

Sometimes I think people say the large frame thing to make you feel better-- as if you can't help the way you are, but I don't think that's true. We can all do something to not be so overweight. And don't let it work against you and make you feel like even when you lose the weight you won't look like you want to-- you'll look great, and even if you end up with some trouble spots (everyone has them or at least feels as if they do), you will be much happier with the way you look in the end than you were at the beginning or even now.
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