Is therapy my last option?

[ncuneo]

I've being trying every since I reached "normal" size to accept my imperfect body and the loose skin. I eat pretty well, I strength train, run and do yoga, mostly because I love it, but also because I'm hoping for more improvement.

It's been a year since I've hit goal and there has been some improvement in the loose skin but not enough for my ego. So my only option is really surgery at this point, but I cannot afford it now or in the foreseeable feature.

So what's left for me? I'm convinced this disatisfaction, self criticism and self esteem issues have caused me to binge and regain 10 lbs, in addition to some other issues, but I know this is a big one. I'm afraid if I can't accept this I'm just going to regain all the weight and it is really awful to have had such great success and still not be happy.


Therapy terrifies me, but what other option do I have at this point. Could it tighten more with more time?

[Michi702]

First of all, seeing your success really motivates me to continue on my own weight loss journey, so thank you for being an inspiration

There are a few different factors when considering loose skin and how long it will take to tighten. As we age, skin looses some of its elasticity, which translates into loose skin taking longer to shrink the older we get. My friend is is his mid-twenties and he lost well over 100 lbs about 2 years back and still has some skin issues despite weight training and other exercise. He has started seeing a therapist because he doesn't have the money for surgery either.

It takes a lot to admit when we need help, and it's understandable that you might have some trepidation when thinking of going to see a therapist. I believe your skin will still tighten more as time goes on, but in the mean time starting some therapy could also be useful. Just my two cents.

[kaplods]

I wish therapy wasn't seen by so many people as a terrifying last resort. When I was in college as an undergraduate in the late 80's and a graduate student in the early 90's (in behavioral and developmental psychology), some of our professors said "in twenty years or so, the family psychologist will be just as common as the family doctor."

Yeah, twenty-five years later, and not so much.

I've been on both sides of the desk, and counseling is like having a friend to talk to without the risk of the friend blabbing your secrets to all your other friends.

It's also almost never like anything like you see on telivision. You generally sit in a chair (not lie on a couch) and you don't spend tons of time talking about your childhood (unless you want to), and the therapist almost never says "and what do you think it means?" You just talk about what you're having difficulty with, and the therapist gives you suggestions on ways to do and think differently. You try to make those changes and discuss with the therapist how that went.

It's not a big deal, really. First dates are a lot more nerve-wracking.

[CeciliaM]

I don't know if therapy is the right thing? I would recommend counselling (or is that the same thing?). I've been seeing someone (not for this issue), but it's really helpful. They put everything into perspective and give you strategies of dealing with things, and you can even experience some "Ah-ha!" moments. See if any of your friends have seen one they could recommend and just do one session and see if it's the thing for you.
Also just talking to friends about this is a good way of dealing with it too.

Doing weight and resisance work helps with toning and the loose skin a bit, but yes surgery will be the last option.

[Lori Bell]

Ncuneo,

You are a beautiful person. I love your new avatar, you looks so healthy and glowing. I wish your inside knew how much the outside needs your support. Just know, that you are the only one who sees all these flaws, everyone else looks at you with amazement and thinks...WOW...she looks GREAT.

Now, I don't think therapy would be a bad thing. My absolute favorite TV show right now is Frazer, (reruns at night on the Hallmark channel). LOL If all therapist are like him...what a hoot counseling would be! No seriously, I say try it. If you don't like it, move on to the next plan to keep the weight off. Don't let food win over vanity.

[fatferretfanatic]

If I had the money for it, I'd be going to counseling every week for general health purposes. I have gone when I was in college because my insurance covered it and I always liked it. It helped a lot. Seriously, it's not a big deal. It's often seen as a last resort for things, but I think it's a great tool to use generally for life. You are a beautiful person! Therapy might help you see yourself more objectively.

[ncuneo]

Thanks guys. My hesitation is pretty ridiculous. I have been before, and was on antidepressants for a while. I guess I'm afraid of needing them again, the made me just feel numb and of course I worry about weight gain. My issues where much different then, today I don't feel as bad as I did then but I think my issues are more serious. Mainly because my issues then were temporary and today they're more complex.

So I've though about it a lot and I realized I've had this referral on my desk (yes I'm insured so really what's my excuse?) for over a year. So clearly since a year has gone by and I'm still thinking about this and having these issues - it's time. I called this morning to see if my referral was still good and it turns out it is...so now I'm just waiting for them to open this morning and then...maybe I'll call and make an appointment.

I think I'll write up a list of all my feelings, concerns and issues and the doctor can use if he/she wants or at the very least I'll have it so I don't forget what I need help with.

I guess needing therapy kind makes me feel imperfect and well if it wasn't obvious I'm a perfectionist and a control freak - so this is out of my comfort zone. Wish me luck!

[k8yk]

You deserve to feel good about yourself, "flaws" and all.
If therapy helps you get there, the go for it!