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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

34 pounds gone and no one notices

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Old 06-06-2011, 05:05 PM   #1
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Default 34 pounds gone and no one notices

So I started my journey back in December and so far I've lost 34 pounds, taking me from 350 to 316. I'm losing slower than I'd like, but my doctor says that losing slowly is the way to go since I'm less likely to gain it back.

Anyways. I've been feeling very discouraged depsite the progress I've made. I thought 34 pounds was a pretty sizeable chunk of weight to drop and yet no one seems to have noticed anything despite the fact that I can tell at least a little difference.

I got to a point where my clothes were literally hanging off of me so I dropped $350 on new clothes that actually fit and STILL no one has said a word to me. It's not like I expect anyone to flip out and have a parade for me but it would be nice for someone just to notice and say hey, you look like you lost a little weight, or something to that effect.

It's getting very discouraging.
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Old 06-06-2011, 05:17 PM   #2
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Don't get discouraged!

Some people choose not to say anything, even though they notice, because they don't want to accidentally offend you. Certain people can be very touchy about any comments about their weight and in response, others have learned not to broach that subject. Don't take it to heart. I'm sure people are noticing and are happy for you, but don't want to draw attention to a topic that can make others (and maybe even them, for their own body-issue reasons!) uncomfortable.

And congratulations on your loss!
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Old 06-06-2011, 05:17 PM   #3
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hugs <3 you are doing great!!!
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Old 06-06-2011, 05:35 PM   #4
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Congrats on your losses! I agree that people may not be saying anything for fear of offending. I also think that it's hard for people who see you regularly to notice gradual changes. Around Christmas of last year I had lost about 35 pounds and 5 sizes since July, and almost no one I see on a regular basis had commented--but when I went home to visit my family, whom I hadn't seen since I started losing weight, everybody noticed and commented.

So hang in there and enjoy the new clothes. Eventually people will notice (and you may wish that they hadn't ever started to, lol).
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Old 06-06-2011, 05:50 PM   #5
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:hugs:

You can post before & after pictures for us, and we can tell you what we think if you'd like
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Old 06-06-2011, 06:08 PM   #6
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In the end, you have to do this for you and you alone. Just wait until you lose a lot and people start telling you you've lost enough and you should stop! Then you're going to miss the days when they didn't say anything

You're doing great. Keep going! Forget other people. It's none of their business really.
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Old 06-06-2011, 06:16 PM   #7
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I make it a habit to avoid commenting on people's weight even if it's losing weight. There are so many people who are sensitive to comments even the good ones.
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Old 06-06-2011, 06:27 PM   #8
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It's weird how people notice at different times. All the sudden one day you may have several people notice. I'm sure they will notice soon, if they haven't already.

But what's really important is that YOU notice. How your clothes fit differently, have more energy, are stronger. You are doing a great job!
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Old 06-06-2011, 06:29 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferumbras View Post
Don't get discouraged!

Some people choose not to say anything, even though they notice, because they don't want to accidentally offend you. Certain people can be very touchy about any comments about their weight and in response, others have learned not to broach that subject. Don't take it to heart. I'm sure people are noticing and are happy for you, but don't want to draw attention to a topic that can make others (and maybe even them, for their own body-issue reasons!) uncomfortable.

And congratulations on your loss!
I agree whole-heartedly with this. I usually don't say anything unless that person has openly talked about trying to lose weight. Sometimes you never know how they might react. I knew a boy when I was in middle school that had cystic fibrosis and one day I saw him leaning against the wall trying to catch his breath. I was concerned about him and asked him if he was ok or needed help. He immediately barked at me that he could take care of himself and to just leave him alone. I was so shocked by his reaction that all my life now I hesitate to comment on sensitive topics for fear that I might offend someone. I'm sure we have all had similar experiences and just don't know when it's right to comment or keep moving. Maybe try letting a few of the people you see frequently know that you are trying to get healthy- then maybe they'll perk up and offer you some encouragement. Good luck!
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Old 06-06-2011, 07:52 PM   #10
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I started at 356 and people didn't notice until I lost 65 pounds.
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Old 06-06-2011, 11:58 PM   #11
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It's possible that people have noticed a difference in your appearance, but just can't put their finger on what it is exactly. I never comment on anyone's weight, and I dread the comments that I'm sure will come when my loss is noticeable. People are noticing that I am looking better, but I don't think they know it's because I've lost some weight. I've been getting comments like, "that color looks really good on you" or "well, you look pretty today". I am wearing the same clothes with the same hair and the same makeup, so it's really the subtle weight loss and healthy eating that is making me look a little better.

Congrats on your loss! You are doing a great job. It won't be long before you are hearing compliments about your loss all the time.
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Old 06-07-2011, 04:04 AM   #12
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I agree. No one wants to be THAT person:

Person 1: "Hey, have you lost weight?"
Person 2: "....no." *gives you the side-eye of the damned*
Person 1: *gulp*

*crickets*

YOU know you are losing the weight. YOU see the difference in your body, in the way your clothes fit. Getting compliments are nice, but it's not the end of the world if you're not getting them at this stage in your journey. It does not take away from what you have achieved so far, so try not to let it discourage you.
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Old 06-07-2011, 04:54 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaonashi View Post

Person 2: "....no." *gives you the side-eye of the damned*

.
side-eye of the damned! sorry that cracked me up. i have given and gotten that look before and never had the right name for it lol
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Old 06-07-2011, 05:22 AM   #14
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I'm going to echo those who've already spoken.

It's quite possible they do notice a difference, but can't quite put their finger on it. And if they don't know you're actively and positively trying to lose weight... they are NOT going to say anything.

I know that personally I would never say anything to someone unless they were extremely close and I knew how they'd react. (For example my sister or mom.) I most certainly wouldn't say something to a co-worker, because what if they were losing and didn't want to mention it? Or what if they WEREN'T losing and I'd just have to put my foot in my mouth? Causing a frosty work environment which is just bad all around.

I lost -FIFTY- pounds before a co-worker said something. Even then, she said it when we were all alone in a stairwell and very quietly. Obviously not wanting to offend. I was happy that people were noticing.

But, starting out bigger like I was... I think people were trying to make sure I was trying to lose weight. And it wasn't just a haircut
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Old 06-07-2011, 10:12 AM   #15
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I just want to say.....GOOD FOR YOU!!! Keep up the good work!!! Your heart and your bones and muscles are very excited and they notice!!!
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