Did you have to deal with upseting remarks & gossips?

MaryOjo · 04-07-2011, 05:48 AM

I haven't reached my goal weight and i'm still overweight with BMI 0f 26.5, i was really looking forward to reaching my healthy goal weight but i'm beginning to reconsider if i should go lower than this. My "friends" have now made me a subject of their gossip, they think i'm skinny and my boobs are too big for my frame! One of them said it to my face and apparently it's been going on for sometime.
My husband thinks i look great and that i still need to lose a little more, so does my doctor and other friends.
These friends peddling these gossips are the same people i actually started the weight loss journey with, the only difference is, i was able to lose and keep off the weight while they are still overweight and gaining.
My question, did you have this experience and how did you handle it?

starbrite · 04-07-2011, 06:20 AM

100% yes - just rise above it - they are the ones with the problem

ASF · 04-07-2011, 06:35 AM

Hey, though I dont know these people, I'm pretty sure its all just jealousy! You've acheived A LOT!!!!! And they havent! At the end of the day let them say what they want. If you healthy and happy that's all that matters! x

MonicaM · 04-07-2011, 07:14 AM

I started this latest (and hopefully last; I pray ) weight loss with another woman . She suggested we try together, picked a starting date, exercise times, etc. gave up almost immediately. I never mention my weight loss, but when other friends do, I know within an hour I will get a nasty put-down about something else; always with a smile on her face. I am sure that when I reach my goal and stay there, she will be unbearable.

seagirl · 04-07-2011, 07:28 AM

I would stop hanging around with those people. And if they say you are too skinny and your boobs are too big for your frame they them they are fat and their a** is too big for their frame. (Not really, that would be being just as mean as they are.)

MusicalJess · 04-07-2011, 07:28 AM

You're losing weight for YOU! So if you're getting happier with the way you look ignore them. It has nothing to do with them does it?

Plus, proper friends would support and be proud of you.

kateleestar · 04-07-2011, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seagirl

I would stop hanging around with those people.

This.

Real friends wouldn't talk behind your back like that. You don't need them in your life. If they are people you value and want to keep around, confront them about it. If not, stop hanging out with them, they are not worth it... You've achieved a LOT and are WAY better off (and healthier!) now!

Ruthxxx · 04-07-2011, 08:07 AM

Ditch toxic people.

bargoo · 04-07-2011, 09:05 AM

These are not friends. Real friends are not jealous of your accomplishments. Real friends do not make nasty remarks about you.

MaryOjo · 04-07-2011, 10:23 AM

Thanks everyone, knew i could count on you all. I feel a lot better. They are really people i can do without.

MonicaM · 04-07-2011, 11:40 AM

I agree, but it is hard when it is someone you have been friendly with for years and enjoy their company. I am already spending less and less time with my friend who started this diet with me, and although I miss her company, I do not miss waiting for the stinging nasty remarks.

dragonlady1978 · 04-07-2011, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seagirl

I would stop hanging around with those people. And if they say you are too skinny and your boobs are too big for your frame they them they are fat and their a** is too big for their frame. (Not really, that would be being just as mean as they are.)

Tee hee

I gotta agree that it's probably time to make some new friends. On the surface that may sound a little depressing but a hanging on to relationships like those isn't going to do you any favors.

Think about it this way...you're making big changes in your life, your attitudes, your interests-you're working your way towards a whole new you. For this new person you are going to have to make some outward changes like clothing, it's only natural that some others will follow suit. If your activity and interests are different now, seeking out people with similar activities and interests is a healthy and positive change for you.

My only sister and I have both battled weight issues our entire lives. I have managed to get to a healthy weight several times and when I do it definitely affects our relationship. With family it's a little harder, ya can't just find new ones lol. She doesn't make hurtful comments, but she avoids me and tries to derail me in little ways like suggesting we go out for food binges when we are together.

My point is-when food and/or weight issues have been the bond, it's hard to change that into something else.

slowrunner · 04-07-2011, 01:45 PM

I've battled similar situations every time I've been the "same" as someone else and then went on to be more successful. This has been true for family ("First one in college? Oh, you think you're better than our family now?"), my ex-husband (we participated in many of the same activities when we were in college, then he belittled the other participants and called them stupid when I fit in with them and he didn't), former close friends ("It must be nice to be able to afford that vacation. I never get to go anywhere with *my* crappy salary."), and co-workers who don't get raises or get crappier assignments. There seems to be some human tendency to attack those who are getting a little too far ahead, and make them feel bad about succeeding, and that applies to weight loss, too.

I'm definitely with everyone else, MaryOjo, that people who want to downplay your successes are not worth your energy. Besides, think about this... how many of them are there, and how many of us are commenting on this thread?

krampus · 04-08-2011, 03:48 AM

Your friends are jealous, since they've lost a fat friend who validates their bad habits. I've heard a lot of stories of people's friends turning on them when they make positive change in their life - losing excess pounds, quitting smoking, rehab, etc. Luckily for you, it sounds like you've got lots of supportive folks in your life aside from said toxic gossipy "friends."

Prism21 · 04-09-2011, 11:52 AM

I really just try and shrug it off and ignore it. One of my neighbors was being very loud commenting and asking questions about our (me and hubby) weight loss and told us that we should have done Biggest Loser and asked if we are starving ourselves. This was done in a group of neighbors as we were all out front talking. I was more embarrassed FOR him because he made himself look like an @$$.