I lost the weight, why don't I love myself?

[k8yk]

Originally Posted by JessLess

I never could have started to lose weight until I accepted myself as I was. Fat or thin, weight will never be the most important thing in my life, and I will always be the same person, with more or less the same struggles, flaws and virtues.

AMEN! I agree with this so much. I look at pictures of myself when I was my heaviest and I am neither disgusted nor sad, I am PROUD! Because that heavy girl is the exact same person I am now and SHE is the one who made the decision to change her life. She's also the person who worked hard, graduated from college, got a great career, etc. Fat does not define me.

You can be fat and happy.
You can be thin and miserable.

Thin and Happy have nothing to do with each other, much as they like to make it seem that way in the popular media.

[JessLess]

Seriously, look at all the RICH, THIN celebrities that can't even stay out of jail. A lot of them don't look all that happy.

[TransformingToni]

Awesome thread to come across. My counselor pointed this out to me on Friday that my obsession to lose weight in an effort to build my self esteem will have dangerous consequences if I don't start loving myself now.

I think a lot of my self loathing comes from years of emotional abuse from bad relationships with men. Tall and short of it---I fall for all the wrong ones.

Anyway, I made a decision to take an ENTIRE year off from dating (anyone who knows me well will tell you how amazing this is) just for the purpose of finding myself, being good to me, and falling head over heels madly in love with me.

I'm finding that I want to eat healthy because I deserve to feel good from the foods I eat. I'm also learning that I like to excercise because I like the reward it gives me (relieves stress, makes me feel sexy). I'm appreciating that my eyes are absolutely gorgeous, my waist is becoming more and more defined each and every day, and my breasts (albeit saggy) are beautiful, because they are mine.

It really is just a matter of changing ones thinking. I'm not saying it is easy, sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world to do and just last week I swore up and down that I absolutely hated myself. That's the thing about me, I never stay in those bad places long. I always find my way back.

You will too! Good luck sweetie! (((HUGS)))

[imperialistic]

*big hug*
I know exactly how you feel.
It's amazing how apathetic I am regarding my weight considering I was so obsessed with being skinny. If anything, I'm too picky about the little stuff since I don't have the larger all-encapsulating factor anymore i.e. being fat.
It's dangerous territory because you can either start loving yourself as you are and accept that you'll never be perfect or you'll start striving for perfection which is ultimately impossible.
Losing weight is almost easy when you compare it with how damaged your self-esteem is. Physically, you're in good shape but you can still be an emotional wreck from the years of being overweight. It's been a few months since I started realizing that I was "normal" and that I wasn't a big girl anymore.
It's so hard to tell yourself to accept that you're beautiful because what if you're still not good enough? What if you gain it back? What if the weight was never the problem in the first place?
I was never into fat-acceptance when I was larger. I told myself it was an excuse for being lazy. It's only now that I've lost the weight that I realize how important it is to be accepting of your body in any shape.
I'd rather be fat and self-confident over being skinny with no self-esteem. The problem is that when I was fat, I had no self-esteem either. I know that even if I gain weight now (which I'm going to try my best to avoid), I'll love myself for who I am and stop placing so much weight (pun not intended) on my physical appearance.
You've done an awesome job at losing the weight. Don't let it still drag down the way you feel about yourself. Your outside appearance doesn't reflect who you really are- you already have an idea of that because you've noticed that even though your appearance has changed dramatically, you still feel the same. You need to internalize that though. You're a beautiful person inside and out and that won't change regardless of the way you look.

[MiniMeee]

I can totally relate. I can't SEE the weight loss either. I tend to focus on the weight I still have to loose. Body image is a much more complex thing than I realized. It is a work in progress.