The guys at my new job

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 09:28 AM

So I've been working my new job at a gym for about a week now and I love it!
All of the guys I work with are really nice and we're becoming fast friends.
These guys have no idea that I "used to be fat." Its not something I would just come right out and tell anyone, especially not the good looking, fit guys at the gym haha
Yesterday, though, the topic of facebook came up and one of the guys brought up "oh we all gotta friend kelly!"
I was nervous enough handing over my license, with me at my highest weight, to be copied for my associate file but luckily that picture is very complimentary. My facebook has many pictures of me obviously at my highest weight. The size four girl they know looks nothing like the size (tight) 14 that I used to be.
Its not that I'm ashamed of what I used to be, but I'm not that person anymore and I dont want people to think of me as "the girl that used to be fat" especially not in a job associated with fitness.
I also dont want to private all my pictures just to hide this fact about me.
Idk what to do...anyone ever experience a situation like mine?

beerab · 02-25-2011, 09:31 AM

You don't have to be friends with them if you don't want to. I don't have friends from my work on my facebook.

Just tell them you only use FB for family or something.

starfishkitty · 02-25-2011, 09:38 AM

Um hello! If I was them, and saw that... I'd realize you were THE perfect person for the job! Someone who was on the bad end of food and fitness.... who realized it... and became the fab, healthy person you are today!

Perfect example for customers!

Be proud of the things you've been through.... it makes you a much better, much more interesting person!

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 09:41 AM

Oh dont get me wrong, I definitely want to be friends with them. We have so much fun at work, they've already begun inviting me out places with them and we have great conversations. I feel that we could all be good friends outside of work as well.
Idk, part of me just feels like If they found this out it might change the way they interact with me. I've really enjoyed working where no one knows the previous me. At my other job (a female retail store, totally opposite of the gym filled with men) some of the girls have known me for 3 years and they all saw me go through my journey. They've been so supportive, but all they ever talk to me about now is weight loss and eating.
To be honest, I've even enjoyed the innocent flirting from the guys at the gym and I don't want that to stop if they get weirded out or something.
I feel so silly and lame even thinking about all this stuff but I guess it comes with the territory.

DisgruntledOne · 02-25-2011, 09:42 AM

I agree with you. In my ideal life I would lose weight and while proud of my accomplishment I would want to move to a whole new place and start over with nobody knowing.
I am so private I don't have an acct but if I did I wouldn't tell anybody I have one lol.

bargoo · 02-25-2011, 09:58 AM

In the fitness field you would be recognized at what great things getting healthy and fit can do for a person . It is an asset not a liability. Just think what you can do for people who look like you used to.

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 10:14 AM

Oh I totally agree that for clients, my "ive been there" knowledge will really help. I've always been into sports (I was born a chubby baby and my eating habits were just aweful...I wish I'd gotten serious about health when I was younger, maybe I would have been a better athlete!)
My own lifestyle change is partly why I've taken a higher interest in the health promotion field. I'm a health sciences major at college, originally pre-physical therapy but I changed my minor to health promotion-I've learned I want to be on the preventative side rather than the rehab side)
I'm so excited to take my own success to motivate clients and share what I've learned. I agree that with clients, the fact that I've gone through this journey and had great success will only enhance my credibility.
I'm (unfortunately) mostly concerned with the social aspect of how my co-workers will treat me. I feel they will respect me for what I've accomplished, but Idk if it will change the way they interact with me.

DisgruntledOne · 02-25-2011, 10:22 AM

they will respect you but it will change what they think you. Unfortunitly that is just the way life is. Alot people say oh no it doesn't matter it, it doesn't change who you are blah blah blah and they are right but it changes peoples perspective. Having said that I am not saying it changes in a horribly negative way. I would just rather nobody knowing therefor the issue not being a thought in the back of someones mind.

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 10:36 AM

Im glad I'm not alone in this lol
I agree, I dont want to have to wonder if the guys are thinking anything of it, even if they don't say anything. I just dont want it to be an issue at all lol

katy trail · 02-25-2011, 10:40 AM

i don't think the guys would think about it very much. i don't think it's as big of a deal as it is for us. and think how easy it is for guys to lose weight, or how many guys weigh 180, they wouldn't think it was really heavy either.

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 11:01 AM

I have to be completely honest with you ladies...part of this uncertainty has to do with a comment made by a male "friend."
He said that its great I lost weight but im "still not attractive to him because of what" I "used to look like"
I have talked about this comment on the boards before and have gotten a lot of support from the ladies on here. I thought I'd completely moved on from this comment but my new friendships with the guys at the gym are making me think about it again.
What if alot of guys feel the same way. Its not that I'm worried about "being attractive" to them (well expect one in particular I've taken a liking to haha) but like I said, i'm concerned they'll just treat me differently in general.

keep on moving · 02-25-2011, 02:13 PM

I agree, I think if they found out, they would probably see you differently, but in a positive way... and if any one of them thought anything negative, then simply put, they aren't worth your time *ahem male "friend"!

If they are real friends, they won't see you as only one thing.

As for the girls at your old job, they probably talk about diet a lot because they were trying to reach similar goals, and were looking to you because you had already achieved yours...That would be my guess!

I am considering a career in the health field.. majoring in exercise science, and becoming a personal trainer. How is it? Do you actually train clients?

I keep on thinking about how rewarding it would be to help people reach their health goals and change their lives, but I'm unsure if the money's stable, lol because I have a family, and am wondering if I should stick to something more conventional. (but then again, is anything ever stable?)

I would love to hear your experiences! And congrats on an amazing weight loss. I would love to be your weight. And I'm 3 inches shorter than you. You must be ultra slim!

guamvixen · 02-25-2011, 02:14 PM

That makes perfect sense. I know how you feel. With women, I have no problem telling them I used to be over weight after I get to know them. But with guys, it's hard. In my experience though, I had this guy friend who never saw me "that" way at my biggest, but once I lost weight, he was trying to "hook it up" I declined of course. I even asked him, "You mean, as shallow as you were to me when I was fat, you could actually find your self wanting to "hook up" now?" He said it didn't matter. He was a jerk. I told him if he never liked me at my biggest, he didn't deserve me at my smallest. Moral of the story is, you'd be surprised. I still have this perception of myself that my hubby worries that because I have being "fat" potential, that I'll get back to that one day. He knows all about me, and my story.

I think it's ok to share that info. I mean, a true friend likes you for who you are right? Most people, men included, shallow men included, find it admirable.

prepping · 02-25-2011, 02:31 PM

I don't believe it would change the way they act or feel towards you in any negative way at all. Most guys are very much in the moment so what you look like now is the only image that will be in their minds.

I'd say to just have fun. Who cares if someone has anything negative to think, they're not worth your time. Most guys (and girls) would be impressed!

KellyMarie90 · 02-25-2011, 02:32 PM

Very true ladies, if they are true friends than it won't matter. If they do change their perception of me because of this than they werent true friends to begin with...can you tell I tend to overanalyze. Besides, as oblivious as many men are they probably wouldnt even take a second look haha

keep on moving...thank you! and congrats to you as well! Almost at goal!
Yeah the girls at the store definitely have come to me for health and fitness advice, its nice but gets to be the center of every discussion. Its so nice having both jobs because they each make me appreciate the other.
And yes! its a very rewarding field! I'm almost finished with my PT certification and will be taking on clients at the gym as soon as I do. Right now I'm working as a PT intern and front desk attendant.
I'm so excited to get started with clients on my own and if you're interested than I say go for it!
The pay depends on your area, the gym you work with or if youre an independent trainer. Many personal trainers that work through gyms get an hourly pay+commissions from each client.