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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

Is this a compliment?

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Old 01-03-2012, 01:01 PM   #16
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Congrats on your accomplishment!

I feel like we all "reinvent" ourselves because we see life differently as we become healthier. Of course we still have the same personality & we are the same person inside, but as we change on the outside so does the way we are perceived by others. People always say they dont care what others think about them but deep down inside we do care what others think of us.
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Old 01-24-2012, 11:21 AM   #17
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I went through the same thing right after all of my very quick weight loss. My head was still fully processing what I looked like and having outside comments interfered with that. I didn't like it.

I'm not at goal yet, but my weight loss has leveled out quite a bit and a lot of those comments have stopped and I have had more time to adjust to my self perception.

My thought is that weight loss isn't only a physical thing. I can only speak for myself, but it's as much a mental transformation as a physical one. So, when someone says I am a new person - they are kind of right. When I look at pictures of myself just a year ago, I almost can't relate to "her" anymore. Sure, there are basic things that are part of who I am that will never change, but in a lot of ways - I am a reinvented person. I'm me - but better. The me I think I was supposed to be all along. The outside world didn't have a chance to get to know this version of me and since they don't know me as intimately as I know myself, I probably seem like two different people. The friends and people in my life that do know me really well see me now as just a better version of me rather than a new person.

Is it a compliment? I don't know. Yes, but people can use "compliments" in a lot of different ways. Once you settle into yourself and your new body more, you'll be less concerned about what they think because you will have had time to decide what you think.
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:14 PM   #18
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I think people are in admiration of what you have done. It is not easy to do what you did. I think they mean it in a positive way. I do not think you are a different person. You may just enjoy caring for yourself more now, but deep down you are still you. A wonderful person before and a wonderful person now. =)
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:29 PM   #19
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Congratulations to you! I think the person was trying to give you a compliment, but just didn't use the right words.. I am starting my journey tomorrow, and am looking forward to finding my old self, not necessarily reinventing myself.
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:53 AM   #20
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I have lost over 30 pounds in the last year and I myself feel that I have reinvented myself!!!... I used to hide myself behind saggy/loose clothes, did not feel good about my appearance and felt no accessories or makeup or hair do can make me look better... But after all the weight I have lost I FEEL GOOD!!! I am more confident, happier and now I take chances. I do things or wear anything (makeup/shoes/hair/clothes) that I like or think I want to try!!
But I do hear what you are saying... I get similar comments too.. And feel bad.. They pinch me for a while.. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I like the person I am now and I have loved the person I used to be!!
I am sure the person meant it as a compliment!!! And I think this kind of compliment is better than the looks or the comments I have gotten when I was much heavier!!
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:00 AM   #21
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It really is! I looked bk at my old pics just minutes ago... I almost cried i couldnt look for to long without getting upset and felt ashamed at how much i let myself go

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Old 01-26-2012, 07:26 AM   #22
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At a networking luncheon a couple of months ago, one of my colleagues told me that I look like "a shadow of my former self." I took it as a compliment, but when I related the incident to my 15-yo DD, she viewed the remark as offensive (because it was implying that my former self was a whale). Interpretation is in the eye of the beholder...

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Old 02-29-2012, 11:18 AM   #23
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Congrats on your weight loss and all the positive changes you've made!

You really have reinvented yourself, yes, you are still "you" - but think of all the changes you've made in your life. You're eating well, exercising, gaining self confidence, updating your look to match your self-confidence, you are enjoying who you are...that's the definition of a reinvention, IMO.

When I think of who I was 71 lbs ago, I can't believe how much I've changed. I've gotten a new wardrobe - one that I actually like and enjoy wearing. I did update my hair, I'm getting manicures, I even "get dressed" to go to the grocery store (you know, no more sweat pants and dirty t-shirts, haha!). I go out regularly with my husband and my friends, we've taken 2 fantastic vacations and have another coming up in 2 months (I completely quit seeing friends, wanting to go out or wanting to travel). My work has improved because I just feel more confident, in general. I exercise about 5 days per week and I've totally transformed my way of eating. I've gotten off ALL medications and I now take vitamins and supplements to enhance my health. I can confidently walk into a department store and know that I will find clothes I like that will fit me and will look nice on me. How is that not a reinvention?!
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:44 AM   #24
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Reinvention? IMHO our real nature is to be healthy and fit and the reinvention is what got us away from that state. So you are actually more yourself than you were before.
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Old 02-29-2012, 01:25 PM   #25
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It was hard growing up with low self esteem... then you realize people are actually complimenting you, yet you seem to question it. That's where I am, I realize it yes but somehow it's so hard to. But I can tell you know it's a compliment! and you should be proud about your accomplishment

The more I do for myself, I gain more confidence and the less I seem to care about what others say
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:47 AM   #26
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Wow, I really am not alone, My current weight loss started with the death of my husband of 28 years, I lost 160 pounds in 16 months. People that know me don't know me until I tell them, I am a new person and don't even recognize myself. Why couldn't we have lost weight together then he might sill be alive
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Old 03-13-2012, 05:50 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmooVeshea View Post
Congrats on your accomplishment!

I feel like we all "reinvent" ourselves because we see life differently as we become healthier. Of course we still have the same personality & we are the same person inside, but as we change on the outside so does the way we are perceived by others. People always say they dont care what others think about them but deep down inside we do care what others think of us.
THIS /\ /\ /\ /

Isn't this why some of us lose weight? We want to see ourselves in a newer, healthier light. We lose a lot of weight which then causes us to overhaul our wardrobe, our hair style, our exercise regime, etc, etc. This essentially does make us a new person in many ways.

I don't think of this as an insult, and I have heard it many times as well. People are honestly amazed by large amounts of weight loss. They don't always engage their brain before their mouth, but hey, at least they noticed. Look around the forums. There are tons of posts about people feeling rejected because people don't notice their weight loss.

You've done a great job. You may just be a little bit different. Embrace it!
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Old 03-13-2012, 05:54 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by New Cindy Lou View Post
Wow, I really am not alone, My current weight loss started with the death of my husband of 28 years, I lost 160 pounds in 16 months. People that know me don't know me until I tell them, I am a new person and don't even recognize myself. Why couldn't we have lost weight together then he might sill be alive
Oh Cindy. I am so, so sorry. This brought tears to my eyes.
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Old 03-13-2012, 07:19 PM   #29
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Cindy, so sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-27-2012, 01:37 PM   #30
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It seems like a compliment. I wouldn't take offense. Has anyone read the dear Abby where it wasn't a compliment and Abby gave the perfect response? I can't find it.
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