Feeling bigger than ever

RoseRodent · 12-31-2010, 06:42 PM

I feel like I am meant to be feeling skinny and marvellous, but actually at my biggest I never really paid attention or examined my body, it was just there. Now I am looking for changes and fitting smaller clothes and I just feel I should think I look great and can wear more stuff, but I still don't want clingy tops or tight pants, and when I look in the mirror I see a giant fatty.

Anyone else had this?

matt_H · 12-31-2010, 07:35 PM

I'm definitely in the camp that still isn't thrilled with the way my body looks. I think this is quite common. You definitely pay more attention to your body as you start to lose weight. When you get close to goal weight you will want to wear things that are more form fitting.

JOLINA · 12-31-2010, 10:00 PM

I have lost 27 pounds since June.
I am into a smaller size.
I see a slightly thinner person in the mirror.

But I also see a person who needs to lose another 50 pounds.

So I still see an overweight person. My face looks much better.
My shoes are all looser. I think they grew a size wider all on their own. LOL

I am very relieved to have lost the weight. No one notices but me, but I am doing this for me.
My clothes are still loose and baggy. And that is going to be my style until I have a good figure again.
A year from now I probably will be wearing tighter clothing.

I have to deal with the situation as it is now.
A year from now, and 50 pounds lighter, things will change.
My attitude, my health, and my clothing style will all change slowly for the better. It will take awhile.
So I just keep plodding along...counting my calories every day.

tschaff04 · 12-31-2010, 10:49 PM

I can completely relate!! I am down 55 pounds now and although I do see changes I have been doubting the progress I have made. For instance, now that one of my "regular" pair of jeans I wear often are getting very baggy and loose I have been telling myself "It's not because I am to small for them, it's because I have stretched them out so big and now they are baggy. Gah! I can't wrap my head around this new mentality of my body actually getting smaller. It's almost like I am afraid I will Jinx it if I accept it.

Also now that I am losing noticeable weight I feel like my love handles, and areas where I am "flabby" are more worse now.

I think it will take time for all of us to rethink how we see ourselves after seeing a bigger person in the mirror for so long.

RoseRodent · 01-01-2011, 08:04 AM

But does anyone else see a person that is *even bigger*? It's not so much that I am not yet thrilled with my body (why would I be, I'm smaller but I'm still overweight) and not that I think I've worked so hard I should be tiny by now. It's not even that I see myself as being *as big as* before, but *bigger*. I feel like I look giant now. At 20lbs heavier I looked normal, now at 170-something I am HUUUUUUUUUUGE.

I've had a brush with anorexia before, so I do feel concerned that perhaps my body image is not going to come into proportion, that I won't ever be looking at a slim person. I feel like the more I see myself as someone who *ought* to look better the more I will see the problems.

tschaff04 · 01-01-2011, 10:27 AM

RoseRodent, I can't say that I feel the way you do. But I totally understand what you mean. I dealt with eating disorders a lot when I was younger too. I understand that feeling of never being happy with how you look even when you are losing weight and getting smaller. I don't feel like I look bigger now, but I feel like my flaws are more noticeable if that makes sense.

mascara blue · 01-11-2011, 11:36 PM

I can relate! Its like the more I lose, the more I realise I still have to lose and it makes me feel huge. I dont know if that makes sense.

Laureedee · 01-13-2011, 03:28 PM

I can definitely relate. I too never paid much attention to my body when I was heavier, it was just there. The smaller I get, the more I notice the imperfections and many days I would swear my stomach and thighs are even bigger than they were to begin with. Logic says this is impossible, as do my measurements, but they certainly look bigger to me. As Matt said, it's just because we're paying more attention now.

spixiet · 01-13-2011, 07:26 PM

For me, it's not a constant feeling. Some days, I look in the mirror, and I can see my progress. But other days, I look in the mirror, and I would swear that I've gained weight and look even bigger than before I started. Now, I never actually thought I looked normal or great at my high weight, but there are definitely days when I feel like nothing I've done has made any difference in my appearance...and some days, I do feel like I look worse than when I started -

Unfortunately, I don't have any words of wisdom or advice to help you through the feelings (although I can completely commiserate). Since my negative feeling don't hit daily, I've learned to identify when I'm having one of those days and just avoid the mirrors. I've reached the point where more and more people are noticing and commenting - even though I haven't advertised my weight loss attempts at all - so I am confident in the knowledge that it's all in my head.... I'm really just crossing my fingers and hoping that my brain will straighten itself out a bit as I go through the process.

flippychick · 01-14-2011, 01:13 PM

RoseRodent - I have the issue of seeing myself just getting bigger. And bigger. And bigger. I look bigger to myself now than I did at 170+. And at this point, it has morphed into "everyone looks huge - even Hollywood." I'm going to start talking to my therapist about it because, while I don't form opinions about anyone based on their size, I do about myself. And I'm not very kind about it. I have completely lost my perspective about what bodies - any body - should look like. It's not that thinner looks better or curvy is cute - nothing looks good anymore. If I get any answers or suggestions for breaking this "vision" problem, I will most definitely post them!