When your self-perception is skewed, who or what do you trust?

[missunshine]

I have the same issues. everyone around me tells how too skinny I have become but all i see is big stomach, back fat, flabby thigs, small breasts...
and sometimes when i look myself in the mirror i feel like a sex bomb but sometimes I feel like a fat cow. especially because of my stomach. when i'm standing it isn't that much noticeable but when i sit down everything just falls out. so lately i caught myself comparing to my friends and colleagues at school and comparing their stomachs and mine while sitting. Crazy, I know. But even though I reached my weight goal I'm still very unsatisfied with the way my body looks and I feel even more self conscious about my body then before. When I was overweight I always thought and felt attractive about myself, but now I wish I could go back, but i know I wouldn't be satisfied any ways. I'm a huge perfectionist and I know i'll never be satisfied with myself. I always tell myself that if i firm that tummy and get rid of all that fat, and extreme hairiness all over my body and my strech marks ( which I know are unremovable), then I will be happy forever and I won't be selfconscious and i won't have any problems with myself, but I know it won't be like that. so currently i'm spinnig in a viscious circle of self pitty and hope and ignorance. hope it gets better.

[pageta]

I have been size Large or above since 9th grade and now I am generally a size small.

I find it better if I admire myself while clothed. I'm a lot happier with what I see. When I see myself without clothes, it's the old body with all the same flaws. They may be smaller, but I can't really tell. I can definitely see it when I have clothes on. I've also changed the style of clothes I tend to wear so I do look pretty good in the mirror when dressed.

[JenMusic]

I realize I haven't been responding to posts, but that's because I've been pondering your ideas and thoughts. I've really appreciated getting more input on this. I knew I couldn't be the only one in this boat!

The mirror suggestion totally took me by surprise. In my head, the mirror has never been my friend, so why would I want to spend more time in front of it? But I get it - I need to be comfortable and familiar with what I see. I actually just bought a full-length mirror, but it was very cheap and I think warped - it makes me look even thinner than dressing room mirrors. I mean, I look smaller in that mirror than ANY other mirror I use. Which is nice sometimes, I guess.

The picture suggestions were great, too. Would take some help in setting it up, but it would also be interesting. Interestingly, the first picture where I really felt my weight loss was noticeable was a picture of me from the back. Maybe not having my face in the shot removed some of the personalness from my evaluation of myself?

Thanks again for the thoughts and empathy. This is a good problem to have, I suppose, but I don't have anyone around who would really understand how difficult this part of the process is, so it's nice to have a wise sounding board.

[fivestone]

The only thing I really trust are video cameras. Still shots can be too flattering or too unflattering. Mirrors I'm always looking at from head-height and so I look thinner than I am. The scale is just a number. Clothing sizes vary wildly.

Thanks for the tip! Just took a video of myself, and it was really eyeopening, but not in a negative way! I'm not quite as large as I had imagined myself to be in my head!