So I've been hanging out with this guy. He's really nice and I like him a lot. Things are starting to get more physical-which is great and we're taking it slow, etc (I'm in my mid 20s I should mention). Sooo, basically I haven't dated anyone in forever and now I'm starting to panick because I've realized he's going to learn my two biggest secrets: 1) I have asymmetrical breasts. Which I can easily hide under clothing so no one knows. I'm really self consious about it--there's like a cup or 1/2 cup difference. It's getting beter as I lose weight but its still super noticeable. 2) I'm a virgin. This relates in part to the secret number 1 and in part due to the fact that I haven't dated anyone in like 10 years...so my teens. He has a lot more experience than I do.
I don't know what to do about it. Like do I talk to him about it now? Wait until later? I don't want to have him reject me because of either thing. I'm worried he'll judge me...and I realize that I shouldn't because if he really liked me blah blah blah. But it's a legitimate worry. I don't know what I would do if he rejected me right now...seriously...that would be crushing.
Has anyone ever had any similar problems? Any suggestions on what to do? Ugh...I hate this!
Ok. I just asked my son both of your questions. He is 25, unmarried, and frequently dates. He said that guys just love boobs and that your guy will not care at all. He basically said that you are much more worried about that than your bf will ever be. (Please don't be angry, but I figured why not go straight to someone who would be able to answer honestly).
On the 2nd issue, and this is only his opinion, but he thinks that you should tell him about being a virgin before the intimacy. He also says probably in a special place and at a special time, and make sure that you let him know that giving up your viginity is a big deal for you so that he takes it seriously. (Just make sure that this is the guy that you want to have that intimacy with because you can't take it back).
I was actually going to say these same things, but I thought I would check with someone who could give us honest answers with no agenda.
milmin2043's son is spot on! I have all sorts of body issues, and guys have never rejected me because of them. They're just glad that they get to touch your boobs.
In regards to the virginity thing I would probably tell him, if for no other reason than so that he knows that you're not going to be very experienced and therefore might need some practice before you really know what you're doing (or maybe you'll be a natural!). But also if he's a good guy (hopefully) he will take that information and try to make it as special/comfortable/not pressure-y for you as possible.
When I was still pretty unexperienced sexually I worried about rejection constantly too. He's already into you, he's not going to reject you now. Really, even if he wasn't into you personality/romance wise he wouldn't reject sex with you once naked and oh so close to getting what he wanted. If there's one thing I've learned about guys it's that they are never as critical or picky as we think they are/should be.
If you're anything like me this post won't help you at all, you'll just have to try to relax and push through the fear. It will be worth it in the end. Good luck and congrats on finding someone you like!
My boobs are like yours, at least a half cup size difference. I freak out about them from time to time, but my boyfriend did not notice until I told him, and he loves them both, and loves me.
As for the virginity, you'll know when is the right time, you're old enough to know it's not something to just toss away. If he's a keeper he'll understand.
Don't start a Discussion about either topic unless it comes up. If you haven't talked about your dating history yet, maybe next time you hang out you could casually ask a question like "what's the worst date you've ever been on?" and when he turns it around on you, saying "oh it's been centuries and centuries" should suggest that you are fairly new at dating in your twenties.
As for the asymmetrical breasts thing, a girl freaking out about her bodily insecurities is far more unattractive than the difference in size between a pair of breasts. Confidence is sexy. Even if you don't feel confident, pretending is a good way to work toward achieving the real thing. What about you do you love? What body parts are you proud of? What are you talented at? Put your positive points proudly on display and forget about those you're not so keen on. If you don't make a big deal out of it, he won't either. Promise.
As for the asymmetrical breasts thing, a girl freaking out about her bodily insecurities is far more unattractive than the difference in size between a pair of breasts. Confidence is sexy. Even if you don't feel confident, pretending is a good way to work toward achieving the real thing. What about you do you love? What body parts are you proud of? What are you talented at? Put your positive points proudly on display and forget about those you're not so keen on. If you don't make a big deal out of it, he won't either. Promise.
I totally agree!!! No one is perfect and everyone has their insecurities, but just be confident in who you are and he'll find it sexy!
I wouldn't mention the breasts thing at all...I hate my breasts, they are large, droopey, and despite me being extremely pale look very much like an african tribal woman's out of National Geographic.
I've mentioned this to men and they think I am insane!!! lol. All they see are boobs, and naked boobs, and I really don't think they care beyond that.
And not to generalize men...but the ones i have been with don't exactly have perfect attention to detail. I have seen them wearing two entirely different shades/textures of black socks together and not been able to tell. I have seen men hang pictures that are completly crooked or not notice the furniture in the living room has been moved or that women have dyed their hair different colors!!! He won't notice this about your breasts more than likely, especially if it's dark and you are laying around and weird angles. lol.
As far as the virginity...definately mention that to him at some point before you decide to seal the deal...and if he's not the one, don't feel pressured!
Milmin's son said it best!! Guys like boobs. That's as far as their thought process goes on that topic.
I would definately talk to him about being a virgin. definately. For all the reasons already mentioned. I would be worried about it getting carried away and you ending up not as happy or comfortable as you should be with the experience. Not promising rainbows and the heavens singing or anything... lol Just something that doesn't suck.
Virginity is a *MAJOR EVENT* for some people and for others, it's a matter of "This is my first time, so please be gentle." Don't be shy or pretend it's more casual than it is if you feel your first time is a very important and emotional milestone. You should definitely tell him before he puts it in (sorry for being so XXX) because the first time hurts and there may be blood.
I wouldn't mention the boobs, boobs are boobs and the guy will not care. I definitely think that you have to tell him about being a virgin. That way when you are ready, he knows that he needs to take it slow and make it as pleasurable as possible. If the guy doesn't know, it will hurt like ****.
I had my first sexual experience in my late 20s and I dated a few guys in my 20s. I'd tell them that I hadn't had sex and all of them were understanding, especially with my hesitancy towards having sex. It wasn't a big deal though although I was pretty nervous when I decided to have sex with someone.
I asked my DH what's the first thing he notices when there's a topless woman in the room. Before I finished the sentence, he said, "Boobs!" He says no man cares if they're different sizes, shapes, a third boob in the middle of her forehead, etc.
As for the sex thing, just be sure you are not pressured into something you don't want to do.
About the virginity thing: you need to tell him, for the simple reason that if you cannot talk about sex, you shouldn't be having it. I'm not saying that you should be able to say anything whatsoever without any kind of hesitation (we're human, after all), but you do need to be able to broach the subject and talk about anything (before and after the event) that concerns you.
That, and it's not fair to EITHER of you to hide the fact that you're a virgin. For both of your sakes, you need to be open about it. You won't regret it.
I hope I'm not intruding...since I don't see any other men posting here...but from my experience, most decent guys don't really expect a woman to have perfect breasts. In reality, men who have been intimate with more than one woman in their lifetime come to realize that everyone is different, and there is rarely such a thing as perfectly symmetrical breasts (or bodies, for that matter). Judging from my experience, it really isn't something a guy will have a problem with...unless he's unrealistic, has foolish expectations, or is simply a jerk (and why would you want to be with a guy like that anyway, right?).
As for your virginity, I would want to know. I just think it's something that is important to talk about. Particularly with the differing experience. Clearly it's something that is on your mind, and he should know that and be sensitive to it.
The *majority* of women actually have different breast sizes. It's definitely not just you. It's just something people don't talk about as much as they *should*.
Also breasts swell when aroused, or when hormone levels flux - which may make it less noticeable if it's a real concern. Also - you could totally just have sex with your bra on. No biggie.
BUT the virginity thing SHOULD be mentioned. You should always, always, always have a good idea about the person's sexual history that you're about to do it with. Especially since yesterday was International World AIDS Day!!!!!! Always, always, always. Not only that, but, as previous people have said - sex your first time can be super painful, and not romantic, and generally doesn't feel so great. I bled the first TEN times I had sex - and we weren't even being crazy about it, and that was WITH lubricant. You need to let your partner know, so that even if they aren't someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with - they know that they need to take it very slowly as to not really hurt you... that would just make everyone that much more uncomfortable.
Secrets coming out??
lol Just something that doesn't suck. 
