OK I wasn't sure where to put this but here it goes....
I use to be 250lbs and now I'm 140 but I still feel like the 250lb girl at times. I was reading other people's posts and saw that I am not alone. So I figured what I am feeling is normal and hopefully overtime I will feel more confident about being a healthy size. Sometimes though I pass a full length mirror and I do a double-take at my own image...I still shock myself when I see my new body. Hopefully my brain will catch up to what my body has achieved.
Now my problem is that I don't date. I have never felt worthy...I've had a big self-esteem problem for a long time. My inner voice use to say 'why would they want to date you. You are huge.' Or 'they could do better then you.' My inner voice was mean I've evicted her butt a while back ago but the problem is some areas of my thought process are still effected by that inner voice. It's like a tornado going through a town even after the tornado left the damage has already been done.
So currently I have been talking to this guy on-line and through text message. He is a friend of a friend. He seems really nice but I get ober nervious at the thought of him meeting me. Because remnants of that little voice says, 'he will be disappointed.' I'm thinking I should just go for it. We've only been e-mailing eachother like three days now but I don't want this to turn into a pen pale situation.
I don't even know what kind of advise I'm looking for...honestly I feel like I'm rambling but I feel better for writing it down. Have any of you guys been here and if so what did you do?