Not overweight, but still losing

rachael · 11-26-2010, 09:35 AM

I am officially not overweight anymore according to my BMI. This is great, but it also brings to light a new problem. I still want to lose about 19 more pounds. That is a healthy weight for me, one that I have maintained before, and about in the middle range of the healthy BMI area. Before I hit a healthy BMI, when people would say that I needed to stop losing weight I had an easy response that I was still overweight, no matter how I look. Now I don't have that to fall back on and I feel like I'm arguing/justifying my desire not to be right on the cusp of overweight. So what do you say to people when they say that you'll be too skinny at your goal (I won't be, I was there for years) or similar things?

joyfulloser · 11-26-2010, 09:56 AM

First of all....CONGRATS...you've lost over 100 lbs!!! That's INCREDIBLE!!!

Second, you owe no person an explanation for "why" you feel you need to lose weight. I just would stay away from discussing that issue with others. I get that all the time as well. I'm sure people mean well...but then again you could always respond, "too thin for who?"

cherbear · 11-26-2010, 10:08 AM

Ditto on the congrats!

I've gotten the same comments, and I think it's a perception problem. They're not used to seeing you at this weight, and so to them you are too skinny.

I want to loose 5-10 more pounds. I think they're probably just vanity pounds, but I want to. It's still in my healthy range, and it's MY body.

When people tell me I've lost enough, or I'm too skinny, I just laugh it off or agree with them or whatever it takes to make them happy, and then I eat what I want or don't want. They don't have to know how much I weigh, and they don't have to know what I want to weigh. You do what you need to do, and brush off others' comments.

That's my plan anyway...

Congrats again and great job!

matt_H · 11-26-2010, 10:14 AM

Awesome!!!

I'm trying to not let the "you don't need to lose any more weight" comments get my down. I just say "I'd like to lose a few more" and try to change the subject.

NiteNicole · 11-26-2010, 10:27 AM

Maybe this is where the whole "it's a lifestyle, not a diet" thing comes in. Everyone has heard that line. Perhaps you can just say this is me. This is how I live now. I'm taking care of myself and if that results in weight loss, so be it.

seagirl · 11-26-2010, 10:28 AM

Stop discussing your goal, telling people how much you weigh or how much more weight you want to lose. If they ask say you don't know and smile and then change the subject.

Laureedee · 11-26-2010, 12:32 PM

I agree, it's a perception thing. My cousin told me the other day that I'm getting way too skinny, when in reality I'm still quite chubby and I am still technically overweight. The lowest he had ever seen me was 10lbs heavier than this, and he's used to seeing me between 200-240, so to him I'm sure I do look quite skinny. My mom's the same way, she keeps asking where I think I can possibly lose another 25lbs from; thing is, I may not look that big but I seem to have a smaller frame than I had thought, so I have much more fat than I need. I don't even pull the "I'm still overweight" card, I just say that I'm not where I want to be just yet and they usually leave it at that; if not, I just change the subject.

cherrypie · 11-26-2010, 01:13 PM

how about "I'm still in the normal BMI range"

or "I think the weight is still shifting around, I'm just maintaining now"

RoseRodent · 11-26-2010, 01:34 PM

Maybe point them towards a recent study that has found that because we are so used to seeing overweight people around us we have forgotten what correct weight looks like. I certainly feel I have, I see lots of very large people and lots of stick thin people but there is nothing in between, it seems that the size UK10, 12 and 14 have fallen into oblivion and either you are a 6 or a 16+. I wish there was a site you could go to and look at a range of reference pictures of normal weight people, I tend to spend some time going through goal pictures partly for this very reason. Too confused about link rules to post the study, but it's on the diabetes uk (sure that link is fine, it's a charity) home page just now.

rachael · 11-26-2010, 02:12 PM

Here's a site like that:

http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodie...htweight.shtml

See, I don't mind telling people my weight (now) or about how much I lost, except for one lady who I didn't really know. I guess I will just say that I'm almost there and leave it at that, though. I tend to give more information than necessary sometimes, so maybe in cases like this, less is more~!

wibblewobble · 11-26-2010, 07:47 PM

I'm basically the same height and weight as you. I agree its all about perception. And I've also gotten the comments of "where will you lose it from?" from my mother. Which is usually when I grab my stomach rolls or thighs. haha. luckily my friends are all uber supportive and trying to lose weight as well so they don't question it.

Again, congrats and good luck!

katkitten · 11-26-2010, 10:04 PM

I am starting to get these comments and can still say I'm obese. However, the dilemma you are describing has been worrying me a bit because people are already discounting the BMI argument as invalid. I have decided that at some point I am perfectly willing to lie lol and say I am not trying to lose weight anymore and am just focusing on improving my overall fitness once I get closer to goal just to shut people up. Otherwise I really think people in my life are going to stage some sort of an intervention lol

Rosinante · 11-27-2010, 04:17 AM

When I got down to 136 a few years ago - the last ounce of 'normal', 16lbs above goal - there was one friend who kept telling me not lose more or I'd get haggard/unhealthy/anorexic. None of those things happened. I tended to put her concern down to the fact that for the first time ever in our friendship, I weighed a coupla ounces less than her but it was difficult to answer her comments with civility. I didn't want to trample on her sensitivities but nor did I see why I should have to defend myself. I think it was the implicit assumption that she knew better than me about healthy eating and weightloss that bugged me.

People that I'd met for the first time once I was around the late 140s didn't comment at all. No-one thought I was 'skinny', because I wasn't.

I think this time (because we are still friends!) when she says 'Don't get too thin', I'll just smile and say 'I won't' and change the subject. Of course, in the 6 months during which I've lost 49.1lbs, she hasn't commented on my weightloss once, so maybe she won't comment at all.

LiannaKole · 11-27-2010, 05:02 PM

I'm not sure. I still have the "I'm overweight" card to pull (but only for a few more pounds). I've been wondering what I'll do eventually, too.

I just got my first, "You're not losing any more weight, are you? You don't need to." It was polite and no doubt said out of surprise at my appearance (the last time I saw this person I was closer to 210 pounds).

But as I approach goal, this will become more of an issue with people I know.

I'm still looking for a way to explain it so they don't worry. I guess I'll just explain that I'm eating plenty of healthy foods and exercising, and that I am still at the top of my medically healthy weight.

krampus · 11-28-2010, 10:41 PM

I get that too, "don't lose any more weight!" from people who are proportionally thinner than I am. I wonder how much of it has to do with them feeling threatened by your changing weight?

What I hate are people who say "don't go anorexic on me" as if it's the only inevitable path. It's incredibly annoying and I haven't thought of an appropriately cutting, discomforting response yet. Ideas?