Is There Ever A Point Where You Stop Feeling Fat?

a cheal · 11-07-2010, 07:24 PM

Well, it's been a long time since I have been on here and a lot of things have happened in my life. I got married in May and my husband and I have just recently bought our first house together. This should all have been a very exciting time in our lives and for him it was, but for me I couldn't stop thinking about my body image and how I can't get that fat and ugly feeling out of my head. I have been told that when people go through major weight loss changes (I started out at 297 and am now down to 179) they tend to still feel like their old fat selves. Has anyone else gone through this and is their a light at the end of the tunnel? I have attached some images of myself before and after to show the changes.heaviest me.jpg

skinniest me.jpg

Sunshine73 · 11-07-2010, 08:03 PM

I've never been through this so I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice. I just wanted to tell you that you don't even look like the same person. You have seriously rocked the weight loss and you should be so proud of yourself!

just keep swimming · 11-07-2010, 08:07 PM

If you can't see it, I'm going to tell you that you look fabulous!! You are too cute! Amazing job!

katy trail · 11-07-2010, 08:09 PM

we all have 'fat' days, but if this is how you feel all the time, that's very concerning. are you also depressed?

congrats on the whole wt loss, new house, new life! i feel like that will be me in a few months.

a cheal · 11-07-2010, 08:17 PM

Thank you ladies, I do appreciate your comments. Yes, I was diganosed with depression years ago when I was at my heaviest yet, it seems since all my weight has been lost, my depression has esculated as it seems I don't know where I fit in anymore. Plus size or regular sizes. It's definitely a weird and frusterating feeling.

matt_H · 11-07-2010, 09:06 PM

*raises hand*

I've been obese all my life. I still can't see myself as not obese. I see myself different in photographs, but I still feel like my old self. I look in the mirror and see fat still hanging off my body.

The body image thing will change over time, I'm sure.

cherylmn · 11-07-2010, 09:09 PM

I haven't lost anywhere near the amount of weight that you have, but I can relate to your feelings. I still hate having my picture taken because I'm sure the fat girl will be there in the photo. As for shopping, I make myself take clothes in my current size & still expect them to be too tight. I rarely look in the mirror (a habit from my fat days) and when I do, I'm still shocked by the image looking back at me.

I've been at my goal weight for 5 months now, so you'd think it would set in. Also, while I was in the middle of losing weight, my depression & anxiety seemed to subside. I was being successful at something & I was 1000% focused on that.

After reaching my goal, though, it all came flooding back. I guess we all have to deal with the unfinished business of what got us to our heaviest weight in the first place. We can shove it down for awhile, but until we really deal with it, it will keep popping up like a gopher.

So, no words of advice, but I can tell you that you are not alone.

And as the others have said, you are ADORABLE. Enjoy your health & give your brain some time to catch up with your awesome new body.

Congrats on all the good things going on in your life!!

imperialistic · 11-08-2010, 02:16 AM

Agree with Cheryl. You're not alone at all.
I've been overweight all my life. So now that I'm a normal size... well, I'm not really sure about what to do with myself. I've wanted it so bad that sometimes it's extremely easy to absorb and I feel natural being "normal" but at other times, I feel like a total cow and I mentally dump 500 lbs of fat on myself. My emotions have been fluctuating a lot and I really hope I'll be able to settle into becoming a person who is okay with their body image (isn't that why we all chose to diet?)
I always thought the hardest thing I'd have to do is lose the weight. I was wrong. The hardest thing is what I'm doing now. Trying to live with the fact that the way people have been looking at me my entire life has totally changed.

cherylmn · 11-08-2010, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imperialistic

I always thought the hardest thing I'd have to do is lose the weight. I was wrong. The hardest thing is what I'm doing now. Trying to live with the fact that the way people have been looking at me my entire life has totally changed.

Well said.

Loving Me · 11-08-2010, 01:09 PM

I've been morbidly obese for a number of years, at least 10 I think, so it's really been hard for me to change the image in my head.
When I look in the mirror now clothed I see a slim person looking back, and I even love most photos that are taken of me. BUT, when I look in the mirror with just my underwear on or naked I still see the same morbidly obese person, lots of skin, stretch marks and scars... Granted there is lots of skin, stretch marks and scars, but I'm no longer morbidly obese and I just can't seem to get my head around that.
I'm hoping my head will catch up with my body eventually too.

xty · 11-08-2010, 03:08 PM

At some point I realized feeling fat was not exclusively linked to my weight.

I have mentally fat days still, but they are rare now.

What kept me feeling un-fat, regardless of my weight, was eating well, working out, and surrounding myself with supportive and healthy people.

a cheal · 11-08-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loving Me

I've been morbidly obese for a number of years, at least 10 I think, so it's really been hard for me to change the image in my head.
When I look in the mirror now clothed I see a slim person looking back, and I even love most photos that are taken of me. BUT, when I look in the mirror with just my underwear on or naked I still see the same morbidly obese person, lots of skin, stretch marks and scars... Granted there is lots of skin, stretch marks and scars, but I'm no longer morbidly obese and I just can't seem to get my head around that.
I'm hoping my head will catch up with my body eventually too.

Wow! you hit the nail on the head for me! I am so relieved to know I am not the only person who is going through this. Sometimes it affects me so much I begin to feel so depressed and down that I will not get out of my jammies or leave the house. The saddest thing about this, in my eyes, is after all this weight loss and lifestyle changes I have been through my doctor told me the reason my depression has hit an all time high for me is because I am still fat and need to keep working at my goal and once I am skinny I will be the happy girl I want to be.

rachael · 11-08-2010, 09:43 PM

I got a referral to go to a therapist today because of this. As I get close to goal, I realized a couple of things. First, it has been 13 years since I haven't needed to lose weigt, so I don't know how to transition my head. Especially since even at 116 I thought I could lose 5 more pounds, so basically since I was ten, over twenty years, I have been feeling the need to lose. And I have a record of feeling fat when I am not. Second, I still have days where I feel like I look 255. I had to pull on a pair of size 8 pants (didn't close, but over my butt) to prove to myself that I am not still fat. I know my thoughts are distorted, but I just need a couple of sessions to help me sort out my head.

milmin2043 · 11-08-2010, 09:46 PM

The saddest thing about this, in my eyes, is after all this weight loss and lifestyle changes I have been through my doctor told me the reason my depression has hit an all time high for me is because I am still fat and need to keep working at my goal and once I am skinny I will be the happy girl I want to be.

acheal-You are kidding right? Any doctor who would ever say this to you should lose their license. Seriously.

imperialistic · 11-09-2010, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milmin2043

The saddest thing about this, in my eyes, is after all this weight loss and lifestyle changes I have been through my doctor told me the reason my depression has hit an all time high for me is because I am still fat and need to keep working at my goal and once I am skinny I will be the happy girl I want to be.

acheal-You are kidding right? Any doctor who would ever say this to you should lose their license. Seriously.

Agreed. I have had doctors say that to me and they are completely off the mark.
Please don't convince yourself that losing weight will solve all your problems. I'm living proof of that mistake.