why even try?

[FreeSpirit]

I have so much loose skin and stretch marks. I loath the way my body looks. It's disgusting and shriveled and saggy. My breasts are small and deflated. My stretch marks are all old and stretch from my breasts down to the bottom of my stomach. They go from my armpits to my elbows and from the tops of my legs to the backs of my knees. I will NEVER have the body that I want. I will never look good naked or be confident.

I try and be positive but what's the point? I'm at a healthy weight. Who cares if I'm unhappy with my body? I'm unhappy with it now and I'll be unhappy with it if I'm at goal, so what does it matter? Why even try anymore when I'm just going to be disappointed no matter what.

I'm sitting here in tears because I am so disgusted with myself. I can't ever afford surgery, and even if I could that would only take care of the loose skin but I will still be covered in stretch marks.

I try and try and try to finish losing weight and get to goal but I always give up because it feels so pointless.

I don't know what I'm looking for, really. Just to vent I guess.

[tigger175]

*Hug*

Freespirit you have lost an amazing amount of weight. I am so proud of you. Give your body time. Your skin will tighten some on it own. Try to focus on the wonderful job you have done improving your health and the positive changes in your body.

[ThicknPretty]

I can relate so much to what you’re feeling and going through.

I’ve been struggling with some of the same questions and doubts and fears. I keep pushing myself to lose “five more pounds”, but then sometimes I wonder…what difference does it make? I have this sinking feeling that I could lose 50 more pounds and still have lots of extra fat. It’s discouraging.

However, whenever I am feeling down, I really force myself to remember where I started from. It’s impossible not to be a little proud of myself when I reflect. You should be very proud, too. Weight loss comes with a few prices…but aren’t they worth it? You’re healthier…you look better, I promise…you’re in better shape, you probably have more energy.

No one has a perfect body and you and I will not likely be the exception to this rule. We all have our flaws…yours are no worse than mine and vice versa…just different. You’ve accomplished SO much, please allow yourself to feel victorious and celebrate your achievements. Chin up, you’re not alone with these feelings!

[L R K]

Freespirit - I agree with both Tigger & TnP. You have done so exceptionally well. Focus on how you have improved your health and well-being. Just don't give up.

[StephanieM]

It's too soon to tell what your body will be like, I have read that it can take 6 months to a year for your skin to catch up with your shrinking body. I'm sure that I am starting to see signs of loose skin and my stretch marks seem more prominent on my smaller frame.

As for stretch marks, try bio oil or another cream that has shea butter in it. I'm using bio oil right now, and it's too soon to tell the effects but I know it helped with some skin issues in the past.

I also heard using a good body scrub helps, as it helps get rid of the top layer of skin so the new tighter skin can emerge faster.

These things won't fix everything completely, but they do make it better. Keep at it and give it time. You could gain the weight back to fill in that skin, but do you really want to do that?

[caryesings]

You don't have to give up, but you can stop where you are and maintain. You have reached a perfectly healthy, normal weight for your height.

[kaylamparker]

Oh don't get discouraged! Like everyone else has said, just look at where you have come from. YOU DID IT. You should be so proud, just like your signature says, you have too much pride

[yawnee55]

FreeSpirit,
Your post made me very sad for you. Mostly because I have felt the same empty feeling of what's the point. I have lost over 100 pounds twice and gained it back. I am now on my third and hopefully last time of reducing my weight. So I have also had the saggy skin and stretch marks and still do. I have also had some other low blows dealt to me in the last two years that don't have anything to do with weight loss and so I have had some pretty low points when my thoughts about EVERYTHING was " What's the point ".
But thankfully I reached way down deep inside and found one little thing that brings me joy and I decided to build on it instead of wallowing in my sadness and allowing my bad breaks to poison my thoughts and desire to move on. So please don't think you are alone cause you're not. Many have been and are still fighting your fight. Find that little joy and focus on it and let yourself feel happy about that one thing. Then hopefully there will finally BE A POINT for you. And you will find that it will push you in a good direction.

[SeaWave]

Freespirit - You're certainly entitled to your doubts and fears - so much of our identity is tied to our image, especially as women. I can relate -- I'll never look 'attractive' by the usual standards, as I recently had a bilateral mastectomy and am not a candidate for reconstruction. But if you will allow, I'll share a visualization I do when I start to feel down. You can take it or leave it.

I visualize whatever fear, doubt, sadness, hurt that is trying to take me over, and really wallow in it for a good 15 minutes. Then I imagine myself putting it in a box and tieing it up with a nice bow. I shove it on a shelf in my mind's eye til the next time. I developed this as a coping mechanism a long, long time ago. When I need to, I allow myself to do this a couple of times a day, and eventually I just don't need it anymore. I see it as taking the time to acknowledge the bad and then putting it away, leaving more space for all the good things in life.

Remember that you're worth is so much more than what you look like (with or without clothing). You've come so far already, and I'm sure if you look back you'll find that you're able to do much more now than you used to. You're going in the right direction... just hang on and keep going!

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” ---Vincent van Gogh

[kelly315]

I felt the same way when I lost 130 lbs, and I never got over the discouragement. I gained back 80lbs, and trust me, no matter how much you hate how you look now, it's better than 80 pounds heavier.

[TamiL]

Be proud of what you have accomplished! You have done a wonderful job. Most women aren't proud of their naked bodies regardless of what they look like

I haven't had a stretch mark free belly since I gave birth 27 years ago, I had a c-section that all but ruined my muscle tone 9 years ago, my skin sags, my poor butt fell off and moved into the back of my thighs...but I don't care, it's me, I like who I am now and if someone else has issues with that....its not my problem.

[ncuneo]

You know I go through this from time to time, but you know we all look fabulous in the right outfit. If you have to ignore the mirror when you're naked also don't forget how you feel as far as you're health is concerned - awesome right? I sure do. I have so much more energy and confidence (clothed of course), I can run for miles, I have beautiful blood work (before I lost they wanted to put me on cholesterol meds), etc, etc. I know it's easier said than done but you've got to except the results because unless you can afford surgery you can only make small improvements with weight training and the rest you just have to accept. Trust me you'll ALWAYS find something wrong with your body and if you can't get over it you will gain it back.