I can't picture myself....how do I change this body image?

qqforweightloss · 02-19-2010, 05:07 PM

So admittedly I'm not at "goal" yet, I am actually about fifteen to twenty pounds away. But I've lost thirty-five so far, and I've already noticed a BIG problem.
I can't picture myself. I see pictures of myself thirty-five pounds fatter and I think I still look like that, even though I don't. I look at old pictures before I gained the weight (two years ago) and feel like I don't even look like the same person. Last night I went through a bunch and kept asking my husband, "Is this what I look like, or is this?" I'm tall and gain weight evenly, but I still know the difference from now and thirty-five pounds ago is really noticeable to everyone. But I can't see it.
It's frustrating because I want to be happy. The weight I'm at now is literally a weight I was at for quite some time when I was younger, and everyone always said I was thin then-I WAS thin. I want to get to my lowest weight, which is "skinny" technically....but the fact remains that I've weighed as much as I do now before adn never thought I had a weight problem. Now, I look at myself and I'm hyperaware of my stomach when I sit down and stuff like that. I want to enjoy my weight loss and see progress. How can I change my body image, and stop seeing myself thirty-five pounds heavier. Or even better, just start being ABLE to see myself at all?

ThicknPretty · 02-19-2010, 05:18 PM

Well, our stats aren’t the same, but our weight loss so far and what we have left to go is pretty similar. I’ve lost 30+ pounds (weigh in next week) and have around 20 to go. And something else in common: I can tell…but then again I can’t! I see the pictures from last year and I can see differences if I break it down (my butt is actually smaller, my stomach isn’t quite as big, etc, etc), but if I look at my image as a whole, I feel like a look the same. And everyone around me is noticing and can see a difference, but I don’t feel it a lot of the time.

It’s funny, I was listening to Josh Tesch (sp?) the other night and he was talking about this exact thing: “phantom fat”. Apparently, it’s really common for people who lose a significant amount of weight or lose any amount of weight quickly to still see themselves as they did before the weight loss. Your mind might take a while to catch up with your body.

It will happen I think…just might take time. I wish I could see it more too…good luck and good job!

100percentME · 02-19-2010, 11:09 PM

idk how long its taken you to lose the weight but all i can say is, give it time.
ive been been dieting for years, but its really just been the last year that ive lost any weight. ive lost almost 40 pounds, and im just now starting to be able to tell. it takes time for your brain to adjust.
my advice would be to pay lots of attention to your body. like, i used to avoid looking at myself at all, because i was uncomfortable about myself. now, if i take the time to look in the mirror, i cant deny that my face is thinner.
ive always had the habit of putting my right arm across my stomach and holding my side (idk why, its just habit) and now when i do that, i can feel some rib, something that didnt happen before. and this one might be weird but A couple weeks ago i was going to the bathroom, and i glanced down at my legs and they definitly take up less room on the toilet seat now.
take a little extra time to pay closer attention to your body, and slowly you will start to see your true size. its still slow coming for me, but as time goes on, im slowly losing the image of my fatter self, and replacing it with a realistic one, and being able to see my current size.

blackbeltchica19 · 02-20-2010, 12:28 AM

I wish had some advice for you, but honestly all I can offer is that you are not in it alone. I've lost over 70lbs and logically know that I don't look that way, yet there's another part of me that still sees "fat" me. My issue with this is pretty severe (in therapy for body dismorphic disorder) and the psychologist confirmed that this is rather common and women actually were more accepting of their bodies prior to weight loss.
Like when my family or boyfriend tries to tell me how skinny I am- I think theyre just trying to be nice. I honestly can't believe it!

I wish us all luck in getting past this

Fancy Footwork · 02-20-2010, 11:37 AM

You are definitely not alone. I know women who have lost 100+ lbs and even though they feel a lot healthier, they don't see the weightloss. It seems as though our brains are a bit slow in realizing the great accomplishment. Don't worry, I'm sure in time you will begin to realize just how great you look. If it helps, look at old photos to remind yourself of your hard work!

JennyG · 02-20-2010, 11:50 AM

I hear you completely. I lost close to 90 lbs in the last 4 years, and I don't see a difference at all when I look in the mirror, however ppl tell me about the difference and I see pictures of me 89lbs ago, but I still feel like my pants are too tight and my body looks the same except my face is skinnier... I hope it goes away, but honestly I don't know if it ever will.

Blackbeltchicka I think I have the same problem, I have been feeling really down and gross - and I should be enjoying this accomplishment/weight loss ... I came to the conclusion yesterday that I am contacting someone for help (ie: therapist)...do you find its helping you?

qqforweightloss · 02-21-2010, 03:23 AM

Wow thanks everyone for your replies! It helps to know I'm not alone, although I don't want anyone else to feel the same way at the same time....
I'm going to try and be in pictures more, I think that might help me grasp my situation...hopefully I don't start getting really wacked-out about it, I worry about that.

Stella · 02-21-2010, 04:38 AM

Make a few now-pictures from you and have a good look at them. Put them beside your fat pics and compare them. I always had this "problem" you are describing, whether I was large or thin - I don`t see my true shape in the mirror, but on pictures, I do!

blackbeltchica19 · 02-24-2010, 05:01 AM

JennyG,

I think it has helped some, but I certainly have a long way to go. I think its all about finding the right therapist that you click with. Good luck!

sawa1210 · 02-24-2010, 07:04 PM

Take lots of pictures of your new slimmer self and compare them to old ones! Also, lay down on large paper and have someone trace your outline! That really worked for me (or chalk on concrete/asphalt). Hang it up and enjoy how slim you look!

devadiva · 03-11-2010, 10:03 AM

It helps me to see now pictues I am I think finially starting to see mself smaller but for some reason????? I can not find pictures of the period of time I as at my heaviest I think I hid from the camera or destroyed the pictures or something. Also got rid of ALL my BIG clothes BUT I know NOW sometimes 4's are to big instead of 16 to small!!!! So that helps.

Thighs Be Gone · 03-11-2010, 10:10 AM

Yes, pictures help! I definitely experienced phantom fat thing. I was fat for so long it took me a while to wrap my mind around anything different. It gets better, I promise. Fix yourself up each day, keep going for your goal. Do what you *think* fit, healthy women do. Fake it until you make it.

sarahyu · 03-11-2010, 12:28 PM

I have the exact same problem. I did lose 42 pounds about 5 years ago and slowly gained most of it back. I knew I was thinner in my brain. The scale, measuring tape and my clothes told me. But when I bought clothes that "fit" I was still the chubby dumpy person I was when I was at 197. It really got me depressed so I ate.

I tried the taking pictures but when I was larger I was the one holding the camera or hiding behind other people or objects so my big butt wouldn't be in the picture. And me in a bathing suit at 155 was still not a pretty site.

But I know I need to lose the weight to be healthy,

zamzam · 03-11-2010, 01:48 PM

You definetly arent the only one experiencing this. I have a small frame and I went from 190ish to 150. But I still feel HUGE!! Everyone around me tells me I look different and I lost so much weight, yada yada. But I DONT see it! sometimes when I'm getting dressed in the morning, I'll catch myself and get surprised. Suddenly my belly looks smaller, my hips slimmer and my face is definetly skinnier. I try to sustain that feeling all day long but as soon as I pass a mirror, it fades. Ugh...

devadiva · 03-11-2010, 03:08 PM

It is so hard because YOU are the only one that see yourself as large they all think of me as the SKINNY B>>CH and I think me???? But I look around and see by far......I am the smallest by many sizes now.... so I am starting to realize that I have shunk. But I think it is that FEAR that I will BLOW up again overnite!!!