Loose skin meltdown

[nelie]

I had a loose skin melt down today and well I'm kind of still having it. I don't think I've ever cried about my loose skin. I know I've been unhappy about it but I've never considered it that bad.

I was doing pushups today and I look over and see my arm skin hanging down. My husband says he doesn't notice any loose skin and tells me that if I ever want to have surgery to get rid of it I can.

Even though I feel better mentally, my emotions have taken over and I feel frustrated and helpless.

Not really anything anybody can do but it is just life.

[Heather]

I remember the first time I my loose skin really bother me. It was during an intimate moment with my husband, and let's just say that kind of realization doesn't do anything for your mood!! It actually took quite a while for me to not let it bother me in those situations (darkness was my friend for a while).

I think we are both blessed with husbands who love us just as we are (for which we are both grateful), and in our more sane moments we know that losing weight is so much better for us than any stupid skin. I know I don't want to give it power over me!!

But I have to say, there are moments when I wonder how I let myself get to the point where I had all that weight to lose anyway...

Not sure I'm making much sense, but just want you to know I know where you're coming from!

[bluebutterfly]

Nelie - It's really the pits that all our hard work losing weight results in loose, jiggly skin! I'm sorry you're having a hard time with it today

Heather - I also have times when I beat myself up with thoughts of "how/why did I ever let myself get so big". Then I remind myself of what some famous person said (don't remember who) "when I knew better - I did better". That's just a paraphrase, but you get the idea?

[summer91]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I don't have any big words of wisdom or anything, but I wanted to give you a hug ((hugs)). I know how you feel. I fight this a lot myself.

It doesn't change what is a fact, but when I feel this way tell myself that it's not just about appearance, but the health transformation I've undergone as well as how much better I feel mentally, the psychological benefits have been huge. I realize that knowing this can only go so far, so with that in mind.......

One thing I'm learning (for me) is the key role acceptance plays here. I will never be perfect, will always have loose skin. BUT the fact remains...I'm a whole lot healthier and happier regardless. Also, I try to put a positive spin on it and look at it as my "battle scar" so to speak. As a reminder to myself of where I've come from, how hard I've worked and how I never want to go back.

[Meg]

I really like that quote, BlueButterfly!

Nelie, I'm sending you a ton of too. You know that I've had to deal with the same issues and I know the heartache of working so hard to reach a goal, and then to be knocked off base by excess skin.

We're talked about options and you've seen my scars; surgery may or may not be something you choose in the future. But the important thing to remember is that excess skin isn't punishment for us being obese. It was just our bodies' way of taking care of us the best they could.

Keep your chin up and remember what an amazing thing you've accomplished! Don't let excess skin tarnish the glow of how far you've come and how you've changed your life so dramatically. Think of all that skin all plumped up with fat: toxic, nasty fat. Ugh! You're so much better off being the healthy, fit athlete who you are today.

Big !

[Raichu]

"But the important thing to remember is that excess skin isn't punishment for us being obese. It was just our bodies' way of taking care of us the best they could."

THANK YOU MEG!! That's really what I needed to hear!

[nelie]

Thanks guys. I do feel better today and yesterday I was upset that I couldn't even form my thoughts completely. For the past week, I've been doing an extremely challenging set of DVDs and within the DVDs, there are a lot of fit girls/guys and you can see them struggling as well but you also just see a lot of nearly perfect bodies. I can accept that I will never look like them. I just wonder why I have to look like me.

And although it wasn't exactly Heather's example, I was upset for about an hour after working out and then my husband was trying to be affectionate and I just lost it. Of course he was probably thinking 'what he did' or maybe 'wow she is crazy'. But he basically said that it isn't uncommon for those who have lost weight to have loose skin and he doesn't even notice. How he doesn't notice, I have no idea.

This morning, I did my exercise DVD but I tried to avoid looking at my arms. Overall, I know I just have to keep doing what I gotta do. It does help to think that loose skin isn't punishment.

[CyndiM]

Nelie I'm another one right there with you. For me it was a hotel mirror last year. We don't have full length mirrors in our house. I didn't know how much skin I had.

Thanks for all the words of wisdom here. As always they reach more than the original poster.

In my case it has gotten better. Of course I avoid mirrors so that helps I also have to keep reminding myself that I convinced myself that I looked good fat but I remember avoiding mirrors then too. I don't have the body I dreamed of, but what 48 year old does?

[saef]

Nelie, I do really know what you mean. In my case, it was also a mirror. The studio at the gym where I take my yoga class has the same unforgiving floor-to-ceiling mirrors as a ballet practice room. You know yoga poses & how they treat gravity rather cavalierly. Well, some of my body parts looked as though they had melted & were dripping off me. And the firm, toned women holding their asanas perfectly on either side of me did not have that same problem, even though they were about my age. I couldn't help being appalled at my ravaged body. I know this judgmental attitude is contrary to the spirit of yoga. But I couldn't help it. So I have a sense of what this was like for you.

Nothing upsets me more than a sense of futility & unfixableness.

[JulieJ08]

Originally Posted by saef

The studio at the gym where I take my yoga class has the same unforgiving floor-to-ceiling mirrors as a ballet practice room. You know yoga poses & how they treat gravity rather cavalierly. Well, some of my body parts looked as though they had melted & were dripping off me..

Gah, I have the exact same thing. One day I notice my abdomen while in down dog because I was only wearing a crop top instead of a tank, and I was literally shocked. I had no idea it could hang down like that. It looks great when I'm standing . Melting off me is exactly how it looked.

It's funny how it hits you sometimes, even though it's not really new. I think all you can do is give yourself time to come to terms with reality. In the end, it's not some big horrible thing. We know that. But when it hits you all of a sudden instead of coming up on you gradually, I think it's only natural to need a little time to adjust.

[Shmead]

Originally Posted by nelie

But he basically said that it isn't uncommon for those who have lost weight to have loose skin and he doesn't even notice. How he doesn't notice, I have no idea.

He's not lying or trying to make you feel better. Men look until they see something they like, and they keep looking at that. They ignore everything else.

You know how you go back and watch a movie you watched as a kid, except this time you see all the stuff you didn't notice because you didn't understand it? Do you remember how, when you were a kid, you didn't even notice you didn't understand something--there were whole dialogue exchanges, whole scenes that you apparently watched without any comprehension and without even wondering what was going on because the stuff you didn't understand didn't interest you so you just ignored it.

That is how guys are with the non-sexy bits of us. They are paying attention to the sexy bits and don't even notice they are ignoring the other stuff.