When do I get to stop feeling like a fat person?

[devadiva]

I was just talking to someone yesterday about it they are heavier and they knew me then but SEE me this way AND can not understand that I have these kind of feelings. THEY just don't get it . Its nice to have you here to share with.

[weebleswobble]

I've lost 61 pounds (199 woooo!) and EVERYONE has been telling me that I'm thin and skinny (their words). Size 14 (nice fit, no muffin top, even a little loose). I've noticed lately that my face is no longer "round"!!!

But I still don't feel "skinny." I ask people who I am closer with what size they are and I don't feel the same size as them or smaller than them or almost as small as them. I still feel ginormous. My friend had abdominal surgery, she wore a 14 before the surgery and now her 14s are too small (she gained weight and had swelling) and I gave her my pants that I'm too small for. I don't feel smaller than her!

And I see pictures of myself (new ones) and I still see a fat person. I don't see a fat person in the mirror, but see a fat person in pictures. it's weird.

[ubergirl]

I'm glad I found this thread! I've been struggling with this a lot lately!

When I was younger I was FAT (in my mind...) even though I wasn't fat. But even now, when I look at old pictures, I still look at them with the same eyes I had back then and I see the tiny little bulges that bothered me then. It's only when I find a picture that I haven't seen in a really long time that I can see clearly that I never was fat back then.

But now, I don't really think I'm smaller-- I think clothes are stretching and other people around me are getting bigger-- - and then at the same time I feel so little that I can hardly believe it. It's weird.

I don't think I'll ever know if I look all right. I'll have to choose an objective thing, like BMI and stick with that.

[discoloration]

I laugh at old pics of me. I don't think I really relized how much I weighted before until I look back at the pics. I feel the same, I feel like I'm a larger person and people tell me all the time I'm looking great and "look at how much weight you have lost!" but I still feel the same. I still love my self but I don't fell "thin". I think that makes sense.

[100percentME]

i had another one of these experiences this week.
my best friend is skinny and always has been. (she's beautiful, and ive always been envious of her).
she and i went jean shopping, and with my fingers crossed i tried on mostly size six jeans, and they all fit
She was shopping and starting the the 3's but after awhile was like "i think i need to go find some 4's"
shes only one size smaller than me...but when i look at her i see stick thin legs and an amazing body. When i look at me i see my chunky thighs and fat calves.
I have this huge disconnect. i think that even if i make it into those 4's (thats the size im aiming for) i wont think that she and i are the same size.
its discouraging, to feel like im never going to feel thin.

[devadiva]

I for some reason am having a TINY week WHO knows what will frak that out of my head back to FAT.... It is so crazy that was a very good article on the PHANTOM FAT.I just wish it had more exercises and things to help us deal with it. I have been mostly at this weight range for about 2 yr. BUT and thats WHERE the CRAZY in me comes out I gain a couple pounds and I am suddenly mrs GOODYEAR Blimp in my MIRIOR???????

[SlimBy2011]

It's very normal, it takes a long time, lots of comments and tons of "Is that really me?" pictures to stop feeling fat.

[marielenrdz]

So strange how our heads play w/ us. And bodies r shaped so differently that weight & the actual vision of our bodies just don't match up sometimes.

At my heaviest I was 230 & lost 50lbs about 5 yrs ago. Have hovered between 200 & 180's ever since. I used to think I'd B happy if I ever broke into the 70's. Now i'm finally in the 60's for the first time in 11 yrs. I'd like to go down to 135. I'm 5'1" or 5'2"...it seems to change each time I measure.

I'm still fat for my height. I hate my body & give myself no credit 4 the progress I've made. Well- meaning people tell me I look great & I can't accept the compliment because that number on the scale is so huge.

At 5'1", how can 165 look slim? I guess in comparison w/ what I used to be....maybe that's what they mean.

Well, major confusion hit when my sister told me that I need to stop losing weight cos I'm not losing proportionately. I'm too thin from my waist up. Which I get cos I wear my 13 yr old son's Boys sz 14/16 shirts. But I'm bottom heavy (tight sz 12, loose 14). So all my weight is in my lower half. (I have tumorous saddlebags that seem more pronounced now that I'm losing weight).

Now I get why people say I look so thin. I'm a bank teller & they only see my slender upper half. This has left me w/ such a confused feeling about my body image.

The fact that bodies r just shaped so differently can make the # on the scale & the # on the tag seem so meaningless. That's why my goal weight is still high 4 my height . Given my tendency to be bottom heavy, I'll never be a sz 6. And so I'll probably always feel like a fat person.

I'll have to learn to love myself regardless of the numbers that like to bring us down!

[matt_H]

I was going to post something similar here, so I'm glad I saw this thread!

A few days ago I got on the train with a friend of mine. She sat down first and instead of sitting right next to her, I sat in the next seat. She said "don't do that, sit next to me" and I didn't think I'd fit. Normally, I could never sit next to anybody as I'd always take up too much room.

I still felt like I wouldn't fit even though there was plenty of room.

I think it will take a long time for our mental image of ourselves to change.