Fooling myself - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

fittermimi · 03-05-2009, 05:13 AM

Does anybody really see themselves when they look in a mirror? I guess I don't. Here's what happened: My husband and I were going out for a nice dinner so I got all dressed up and admired myself in the mirror. I've recently gone from a size 24 to a 20 and was thinking I looked pretty good. Not skinny, but trimmer and fashionable. Then we got a picture taken and I was shocked to see that I look frumpy and lumpy. I'm so sad about it. It's made me feel like I don't have a realistic view of myself and that's disconcerting. Anybody else dealing with this? How do you get mind and body to match?

Glory87 · 03-05-2009, 12:51 PM

Ah yes...the camera vs. the mirror. When I look at myself in the mirror - I stand straight, I suck in, I turn slightly, I lift my chin - I do all the tiny corrections to look as nice as possible. When someone points a camera at me, I can't see myself to do all that adjustment, so I don't look as nice in pictures as I look to myself in a mirror.

Now that I've lost weight, sometimes the reverse is true, I look thinner in a picture than I think I do in a mirror. Our minds are a fascinating thing, really!

trekkiegirl · 03-05-2009, 01:00 PM

I think I look worse in photographs. I look washed out and heavier than I feel--that's why I hate having pictures taken. I sort of have a love/hate thing going on with the mirror. Sometimes I like what I see, sometimes not so much.

But...I do get looks and comments (mostly nice ones) from people, so then I'm thinking maybe I look better than I think I do.

I don't know how to assign what you called a "realistic view". I think it's because, like they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Like, let's say you get a new haircut--you hate it but everyone else loves it and compliments you sincerely on it. Which view is realistic--your own because it's you and what you're feeling, or other people's because they're just reacting visually, more objectively?

On the question of getting mind and body to match...for me, again, it's an inconsistent thing and it also depends on my mood. I do think we tend to be harder on ourselves and more critical than other people are on us, and that is a tough mindset to change. On the whole, however, I think I'm doing okay. I mean, I don't obsess about my looks and my body to either extreme. Yes, I want the weight to come off but I'm not bashing myself in the meantime, not to a large degree anyway, lol. On the other hand, I don't think I have to be 120 pounds either. I guess the best suggestion I could give would be to just keep doing what you're doing to lose weight, because it's making you feel good. The other alternatives would be to do nothing/stay where you are or to gain it back and you already know how you would feel in those cases.

shatteredfallendove · 03-05-2009, 01:37 PM

Rember the camera adds 10 lbs.

But I do understand. I will get all dolled up in front of the mirrior but when I look at myself in pictures, I feel like I look biggger. I dont know why that is.

Whatever the reason for it may be, remember not to let it get you down. Countinue to lose weight, because you are doing great. And dont let the photgraphs piss you off. Its what you see, whn you look in the mirrior that should motivate you.

tarryn · 03-05-2009, 06:37 PM

I completely understand... it was just last night i was going through photos from my mums birthday- where i thought on the night i looked amazing, slim and healthy...and then last night..looking at these photos i looked exactly the same as i did when i was at my heaviest!!
It is so frustrating

Thighs Be Gone · 03-05-2009, 06:40 PM

A picture is one of the main things that truly pushed me over the edge with my weight. I saw a photo taken of me on a day I thought I looked good. My mirror in my bathroom makes me look trimmer than I actually am. On top of that, I had no full-length mirrors in my home.

I told myself I looked good. Some days I think I looked okay because my makeup was flawless as was my hair. Those days were far and few between though.

jademarlene · 03-05-2009, 06:59 PM

OMG yes I have that same thing happen, I look in the mirror and I think I look pretty good in this outfit, and then the pictures ugggggggggggg. They are good for motivation but boy are they bad for self esteem.

CountingDown · 03-05-2009, 07:44 PM

I used to. I abhorred having my picture taken. I hated every single picture of myself.

As I lost weight, I minded it less. The more I lost, the less I minded.

Now, it doesn't bother me at all - in fact, I have more pictured of me since the weight loss than I have from the last 20 years combined.

My advice, keep those pictures for your goal journey post. And, stick to your plan. It does get easier! Really!

In the mean time - keep looking in that mirror and telling yourself how great you are looking. It will help you on your journey. You have done well so far and deserve to feel good about your progress!

rockinrobin · 03-05-2009, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Now that I've lost weight, sometimes the reverse is true, I look thinner in a picture than I think I do in a mirror. Our minds are a fascinating thing, really!

Me too!!!! So funny. I'm like, "I'm not that thin in person. Can't be." I even ask my daughters and they tell me, "yes ma, you really are that thin".

But in the old and well, obese days, I would see pictures (the few I allowed of myself) and think, why do I look SO much bigger in the pictures then in real life, while everyone else looks the same size in both the pics and in real life.

Quote:

I used to. I abhorred having my picture taken. I hated every single picture of myself.

As I lost weight, I minded it less. The more I lost, the less I minded.

Now, it doesn't bother me at all - in fact, I have more pictured of me since the weight loss than I have from the last 20 years combined.

Me too!!! In fact, I just got a shipment from Snapfish today from a family party - and there were SO many pictures in there - of me - and I was smiling - and happy - and confident - and relaxed - and enjoying myself.

You're off to a FANTASTIC start. Wow. You're already down a couple of sizes. Hard to believe, but one day and not too far in the future, pictures, mirrors - they won't be an issue for you. Be proud of your accomplishments thus far.

Thighs Be Gone · 03-05-2009, 08:32 PM

OMG--me too! I look in the mirror and think "fat face today"..."I am looking wide in this skirt"..."my arms don't look very toned.." etc, etc...then, when I see pics I am like.."dang..I don't look so bad after all.."

fiberlover · 03-06-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockinrobin

Me too!!!! So funny. I'm like, "I'm not that thin in person. Can't be." I even ask my daughters and they tell me, "yes ma, you really are that thin".

My mother had snapped an impromtu picture of me right before a race, so I was totally not posed or anything. I just kept staring at that picture because I looked so thin, thinner than my mind ever sees.

I said to my hubby "Do I really look like this?"

His answer: "It's a picture of you, that's what you look like".

saef · 03-06-2009, 04:18 PM

I am developing an obsessive relationship with the mirrors in the gym. But I'm not checking my form doing bicep curls. What I keep staring at is my legs. I don't have a full-length mirror at home, so my views of my legs are all from above. And you know how perspective can distort. I was convinced that my legs were still thick & enormous, that I had piano legs. But the mirrors across from the elliptical at the college gym & the stationary bike at my office's gym now say that my legs are muscular but not the unyielding pillars of flesh that I'd imagined. I don't own a camera, so I don't know how I'd look in photographs.

Tool · 04-09-2009, 07:48 PM

I look HORRID in pictures! I try too hard to look natural and I end up looking like Egor. All hunched over,one eyeball rolled to the side.. drool hanging out.

I do not see myself any different really though after losing 89 pounds. only when I compare older pictures.

If you feel great, that is all that matters!! I know on some of my good days I strut around like I own the place, people prob think I just escaped from the fashion police and consider me on the run.. but I don't care!

Su-Bee · 04-09-2009, 08:33 PM

I don't think a single picture has ever been taken of me where I don't either have my eyes closed or my mouth wide open, mid-vowel!

04-09-2009, 08:39 PM

To say I relate is an UNDERSTATEMENT. I have gotten into arguments with family members because I refused to have my picture taken. Let's just say--I want to vomit when I look at pictures or in the mirror! HELP!