Think I look worse after weight lose

benchmarkman · 09-20-2008, 08:34 AM

I was obese most of my childhood and finally lost 80lbs 5 years ago when I was a senior in high school. I think it's great that I lost this weight and I am much healthier but I am very disappointed in my looks and somtimes wish I hadn't lost the weight because I think I might have looked better obese.

The problem with my looks is unusual, I looked WAY WAY too young. I am 23 years old and most people when they first see me guess my age between 14-16 and most are being polite by saying that age and say if they would have been guessing for real they would have said I was 12 years old. This is a huge hit to my self-esteem because I am an adult, I act like an adult, and I want other adults to accept me.

Most people tell me you will love it when your 30 years old and look 18 but that doesn't really help now. Do you know how hard it is too meet people my own age or even get respect from other "adults". I go into restaurants or stores and they still treat me like a pre-teen. I get ignored in check out lines, in department stores the clerks ignore me, when I do get help at a store I'm usually referred to as "the little kid", and I get weird looks when I try to do anything that is adult. When I tried to rent a car for business travel the clerk told me sorry not only do you have to be at least 25 years old but you have to be old enough to have a valid drivers license. I have many more stores like this that I could tell.

So know I ask for your expert wisdom and help. How do I look older or deal with the problem. It really is driving me crazy. Give me tips hints, anything. Also I am a male, yes I know this site is designed for chicks but there are not many male weight loss sites as good as this one.

shrillharpy · 09-20-2008, 09:25 AM

I feel your pain--or at least I used to. Now I look every minute of my 31 years.

The truth is, weight can make you appear older. On the other hand, the trade-offs are so painful in terms of daily living that I'm not sure it would be wise to regain the weight.
As far as appearing older goes, I have a few suggestions you've probably already thought of--facial hair, getting some sun, and of course "dressing older."
On an odd note: A friend's mother had a similar problem--she was the same age as her husband, but looked much, much younger. To keep him from looking like a dirty old man, she found some comb-in grey haircolor for herself. Just a little did the trick.
I hope some of this helps. If nothing else, take heart in knowing you'll be as old and broken-down looking as the rest of us soon enough.

benchmarkman · 09-20-2008, 09:50 AM

Thanks for the tips.

I will try some of them. How would you suggest I dress "older". Also I can't grow facial hair, my face thinks it too young too

Ophelia924 · 09-20-2008, 09:52 AM

As much as I hate looking younger than my age, as I am creeping closer to 30 I am starting to appreciate it more. My mother also looks young for her age and she is almost 50 (don't let her know I told you that). On the few occasions I get to go out with my friends (all my age) they make an *** out of me because it never fails I get ID'd at every bar. At 21 it was a pain in the ***... **** at 25 it still was...Now I say thank you! Makes a girl feel good to know how young she looks. You will learn to appreciate it more as your age creeps up.

bargoo · 09-20-2008, 11:02 AM

benchmarkman. how tall are you, if you are short that may be why people think you are younger.

benchmarkman · 09-20-2008, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ophelia924

As much as I hate looking younger than my age, as I am creeping closer to 30 I am starting to appreciate it more. My mother also looks young for her age and she is almost 50 (don't let her know I told you that). On the few occasions I get to go out with my friends (all my age) they make an *** out of me because it never fails I get ID'd at every bar. At 21 it was a pain in the ***... **** at 25 it still was...Now I say thank you! Makes a girl feel good to know how young she looks. You will learn to appreciate it more as your age creeps up.

Thanks for reply. At 50 I really don't think I want to look < 40 though. Remember I'm a guy and guys aren't as "worried" about looking old.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bargoo

benchmarkman. how tall are you, if you are short that may be why people think you are younger.

I'm 5'10 which is respectable for a guy.

WebRover · 09-20-2008, 02:12 PM

Maybe you could work with a hair stylist to find a hairstyle that will help. Or talk to someone who does theatrical costuming and makeup - not that you would need to wear makeup, but they know how color and shading can create illusions.

Ufi · 09-20-2008, 02:40 PM

I know a guy like you who looks like he's about 19 even though he's in his 30s. His voice sometimes sounds like a little kid. I've never talked to him about it, but I think he dresses "nicer" to make up for it. Dockers, button shirts, good shoes. I think he's also careful about the way he carries himself and the words he uses. No slang, no slumping, very responsible. There's something very firm and deliberate but still polite about the way he acts. Then again, maybe I'm projecting that onto his normal personality.

bargoo · 09-20-2008, 07:39 PM

5'10" is certainly plenty tall enough. Clothing choices may be one reason people think you are younger but if you are dressing appropriately that should not be a problem.