Motivation with No Support.

TwinkleGirl · 05-01-2006, 11:06 PM

Hi All,

I have a question that is sort of about motivation. I've lost 6kgs, which i think is good, but i went shopping on the weekend and tried on a jumper and didn't really see any difference. I don't know if i'm making sense. But, how do you keep going at the beginning, when the scale are showing a difference but you can't visably see a difference???

Because at the moment i'm feeling really discouraged and disappointed.

Also, i have a boyfriend

who doesn't understand what i'm doing

(along with the rest of my family, but he's the worst one) and he actually puts me down. For example, when i couldn't do a bicep curl with a 10kg weight he called me weak.

And when i finally managed to do one, he said that i was twisting my whole body and not doing it right. How do i explain it to him or should i just learn to ignore his comments???

Thank you so much for any help you can give me

, I love reading everyones posts, even though i don't say much!

ledom · 05-02-2006, 10:03 AM

SadGirl - don't be sad. Sorry I couldn't resist saying that, but I mean it. I know what you mean about how the first few lbs. don't show, but it is a cumulative effort. It WILL show, be patient because it truly will. If you never lost the first 6, the next 6 wouldn't show. I don't know what to say about your boyfriend except maybe just don't share with him what you are up to if he isn't going to be supportive. Who needs that kind of nonsense? I guess you just have to shake off what he has already said but I wouldn't give him the opportunity to do it again. Sorry, I don't know metric meausrements so I am not sure how much a 10kg is, but there is no shame in starting with lighter weights. You will build strength amazingly fast if you just keep with it. Chin up and know what you are doing is worth it, even if you aren't seeing immediate results.

Optical Goddess · 05-02-2006, 11:36 AM

Hello,

I must say I think it's funny that Homer Simpson is your icon for your boyfriend...On the Simpsons, Homer does do a lot of stupid stuff, but he never means harm by it, someone always has to tell him what's really going on and then he "gets it".

I'd sit your boyfriend down and tell him point blank what you're going through, and that if he can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. YOr I'd ask him if he could support you more....he may think he is supportive in some wierd way... Guys are wierd that way. You could make an example out of a skill he has, and ask him if he was able to do it well right away or if he had to work at it and build it up...my guess is he had to, that or he's superhuman...

In the end, the hardest part of any journey is the first step and getting going...keep a journal and write down things you notice about yourself, like if you are more flexible, can move easier, have more energy, are you doing better as far as making good food choices....things that aren't always visual...and then when you do feel bad, you can look back at all your accomplishments.

No matter what, do this for you, and no one else. Realize that if you had no boyfriend or family you'd still have yourself. You have to love and respect yourself...

chick_in_the_hat · 05-03-2006, 12:24 AM

Holy crap, sadgirl - I've been working out for a while and I don't even attempt going above like 15 pounds (6.8 kg)....I started lower than that...he needs to understand that women are built different...you aren't in this to build big guns (10 kg = 22 lbs). Working out to tone is a whole different story than working out to be a body builder.

Does

know anything about working out? If so, maybe your form does need some work. If he can't be constructive with his criticism - you can check out this site for tips on form and exercises.

As for staying motivated when you don't see results - I don't know how much more weight you are trying to lose...but you will see results if you stick with it. I promise! Congrats on the 6 kgs!

Thehopefulcry2 · 05-03-2006, 12:32 AM

My theory is boys=dumb. My backing? Kris, my Bf, is the same, way. But he is like, you are fine, you can eat this, you can eat that... Its so annoying. But I just ignore him.... as hard as it is.

TwinkleGirl · 05-03-2006, 03:37 AM

Thanks to all of you for your support,

i'm actually feeling a bit better today. I kind of fell of the wagon for two days, but i'm back on track after a great workout this morning and i'm feeling strong again.

Chick in the hat- I only really wanted to do 1 curl with the 10kg weight, just to show myself (and

) that i could. My form wasn't great but i did it, so i was proud.

And i want to lose 25-35 kilos, so i still have a ways to go.

Optical Goddess- My boyfriend is kind of like Homer, hence the little pic. He does things without thinking

quite often, usually resulting in myself getting upset. But he means well, most of the time.

Thanks again for your help, i really appreciate it!