I am NOT brave enough to be pregnant. And truthfully? I couldn't handle what it'd do to my body either! If that makes me sick too, then so be it. When I'm ready to have children, I plan on adopting too, for a wide variety of reasons.
This, right here. I agree 100000% =)
I don't suffer from any pregnancy debilitators, if you will, but personally I'm just not a "pregnancy person". A lot plays into that, more than just physical issues, although no, I wouldn't be able to stand being pregnant. Call it naive, or sick, or whatever, but the whole thing sort of irks me.
I think it's sort of jumping the gun to call her a sick person or anything negative just because of her statement. Honestly, it's not like pregnancy DOESN'T change the body-- get real. And while I give a plethora of kudos to mothers who would be more than happy to put their bodies through that change, some women simply choose not to. And not all of them suffer from this or that, they just don't want to do it. Those people shouldn't be looked down on because of their choice. Their decision should be respected.
No matter her reasons she was being honest. Would we rather she lie to everyone about why she is not going to get pregnant? Seriously, I would hate to be a public figure and have to worry about every word that comes out of my mouth.
It's probably none of our business anyways. If she chooses adoption for whatever reason, that's her own personal choice.
THIS!
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauralyn
No matter her reasons she was being honest. Would we rather she lie to everyone about why she is not going to get pregnant? Seriously, I would hate to be a public figure and have to worry about every word that comes out of my mouth.
AND THIS!
PS ~ I am always confused as why people are so upset she is making $$$...isn't that something we all want?
As some before me have said, it's her body and her decision. If she doesn't want to get pregnant, then that's perfectly fine. Let the woman do as she wishes. There are plenty of children out there already who need loving homes and if she's willing to provide that, more power to her!
My sister (for whom looks are very important) has said essentially the same thing. I figure it's a person's choice and I really don't have a problem at all with someone making that choice (especially since she would be adopting a child, which I'm sure would make a huge impact on that child's life!).
My pregnancy wasn't so bad for me but getting my body back afterwards has been! I was overweight pre-pregnancy but now I'm well into the obese range so I can understand if your body is what earns you the money that it could certainly play role in your decision whether or not to get pregnant. On the other hand, I would love some workout videos from her on getting back in shape post-partum!!!
I've also thought the same thing about adopting, besides the body issues I'm not sure if there's anything medical that would make it hard to get pregnant and age is also becoming a concern (maybe it is for Jillian also, she is 35). Jillian also has said she has hypothyroidism which can also get in the way of getting pregnant.
I'm surprised people on a weight loss forum think it's wrong for others to worry about their bodies after having babies. Seems like a normal fear when we live in a looks focused world.
I'm not a big Jillian fan, because I disagree with her approach to exercise and weight loss for extremely obese people. I think the uber-gung-ho approach intimidates and frightens people away from diet and exercise, and has the potential to do much worse - I cringed every time I saw her bullying morbidly obese people into high-impact "jumping" exercises. It amazes me that no one was seriously hurt (though they probably signed non-disclosure agreements, so it's possible some of them where).
But when it comes to this issue, I don't think her statement was bizarre, and I don't thing it was meant the way some people are taking it. If she didn't have PCOS, I might think differently. If she were otherwise perfectly healthy, I would be concerned about a woman who wanted children, but not at the expense of her looks. Someone that shallow would (in my opinion) make a horrible mother. How could such a person not not judge her own child by the same shallow standards? How would a child not grow up thinking they were only ok and lovable as long as they were attractive?
With the adoptee shortage (at least of cute, adorable, physiclaly perfect babies and toddlers - older and disabled or disfigured children almost no one wants) children often go to the highest bidder. Net worth seems to be the qualification most sought after by adoption agencies. Rich parents are good parents.
So as cynical as I am, I don't think that Jillian was talking about the ravages pregnancy would have on her looks or the physical perfection she has acheived. I think she was talking about the PCOS - all of the medical tecnhology that would have to be used to alter her body in order to sustain the pregnancy. If she had said specifically, that she wasn't willing to go through, or put herself and the baby through the stress and trauma of the medical procedures (which I suspect is what she was talking about), I'm not sure any one would have questioned it.
I don't know if Jillian will make a good mother or not. That's not for me to decide. At least with an adoption, there will be some screening. Unfortunately, she won't be screened as carefully as poorer, non-famous prospective parents will be, but biological parents aren't screened at all.
Whether you're a biological child or an adopted child, you don't get to choose your parents. So in that respect, it doesn't really matter whether she choosed to have a child biologically, or to adopt - either way she ends up with a child and a child ends up with a mother. Whether either will be better off for it, who knows. As a probabation officer, I saw a few clients who I would have said would make horrible parents. One guy in particular, I thought couldn't stay out of trouble. I didn't think he had it in him. His girlfriend got pregnant, and he married her and turned his life around - a complete 180. From unemployed, substance abusing career criminal, to hard-working, devoted, church-going family man. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself (actually I didn't believe it, even after I saw it, even two and a half years later when his probation term ended).
I respect Jillian's decision to adopt a child, some of the best mothers I know are adoptive mothers, and some of the most abusive parents are those who gave birth to their children. It doesn't matter how someone becomes a parent it's whats in their hearts. I had to use fertility drugs to have my children, they have done major damage to both my body and emotionally. Would I do it again? I don't know, my children are my life, but the 10 years of treatments and the 2 misscarriages almost killed me emotionally. Don't judge someone elses choices.
See on the one hand I think this is one of those "What you do with your own body is entirely your own decision" things, but on the other I think it comes very close to the discussion we were having over on http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...loss-rant.html
When you speak for something that could be construed as professional advice it's more of a grey area. She's a physical training specialist usually interviewed in her capacity as a physical trainer, so implying that pregnancy is something bad to do to a body could be taken as being said in her professional capacity, not just her personal opinion that she has decided she would not like to do this. I think there are a lot of other more tactful ways to say the same information, especially when you are in a position of power over people's thinking. It's like if I say something stupid it's not as important as if Barack Obama says something stupid, it's a question of your sphere of influence, you have to be much more careful as a celebrity.
If she didn't have PCOS, I might think differently. If she were otherwise perfectly healthy, I would be concerned about a woman who wanted children, but not at the expense of her looks.
Her body image is her job, and she has worked hard at it no doubt. I don't think deciding not to get pregnant because of the effect it will have on her body makes her a shallow person. Or anyone shallow for that matter. That's why we have the CHOICE whether or not we want to get pregnant. And also, I don't think it's right to imply that women WITH children aren't shallow. So I really don't see how that has any effect on motherhood whatsoever.
It's not just Jillian. For women who have a long history of being overweight, and problems with body image and self esteem, getting pregnant could sometimes have a negative effect. It's not about the children or how much you love them once they are born. A lot of women struggle to get their bodies back in shape-- if they ever do-- after pregnancy (not all) but a good few. And that could be hard to deal with especially if they had worked so hard to get their bodies to a point where they were happy with it.
I really don't believe that just because you love your children means you have to love the pregnancy process and everything that comes with it.
If she doesn't want to be pregnant for whatever reason, that's her business. But as a women with 2 kids and PCOS, I don't think that should be someone's only excuse. I never had to take fertility meds to get pregnant, just be in the process of losing weight lol. I realize she has other medical conditions that may require extra meds possibly and again it's her decision. I just wanted to point out just because of PCOS doesn't necessarily = meds.
If she didn't have PCOS, I might think differently. If she were otherwise perfectly healthy, I would be concerned about a woman who wanted children, but not at the expense of her looks. Someone that shallow would (in my opinion) make a horrible mother. How could such a person not not judge her own child by the same shallow standards? How would a child not grow up thinking they were only ok and lovable as long as they were attractive?
I kind of take offense to this. As someone who worked my TAIL off for the problematic body I currently have, I'm this very second in the midst of a debate with myself over whether to have children and risk going back to the way I was or adopting and keeping my body. I don't think that makes me shallow OR defines that I would be a "horrible mother." I just don't know if I want to go through the process of weight loss again enough to be pregnant and give birth.
Like I have said before. I have three natural children and I would never trade them for anything, nor would I do anything different.
HOWEVER, if I had worked as hard to have a body like Jillian does AND it is my bread and butter, I would probably have thought twice about it. I do not think that it is shallow at all. I think that it is admirable for her to choose this path and be honest about it, rather than have kid or two, and then the kid growing up knowing that he/she "ruined" mom's body. Some women bounce right back, and some do not, unfortunately there is no way to know that until it is done and over.
It constantly astounds me that in this day and age, women are still so judgmental of each other regarding motherhood. Adoption is a very valid way of becoming a parent. I work with a couple who has adopted two children and those children could not be more loved if she had birthed them herself. Why, when women make a CHOICE to adopt, or to not have kids does that make them shallow or selfish?
confused as why people are so upset she is making $$$...isn't that something we all want?
