Well, I cannot say I am proud of my eating so far today. KNOWING that I have a goal and KNOWING that the food we ordered for this meeting was approx $10/person per meal, instead of just having a light selection of fresh fruit, I thought, well, I'll have a bagel (not huge like a bakery) for my breakfast with some grapes. Then midmorning, we moved the muffins to the table in front of us, and we were all trying muffins. Like I had NO IDEA what a cinnamon muffin tasted like. The only credit is I ordered from the healthy menu for lunch (which meant baked chips but I don't even need ANY chips!! and grilled chicken). I over indulged too much today and feel like I'm just not firing on all four cylinders.
Credits - on bike last night but demerit bc DH thought I was on my way to bed and was a little irritated. I said please make sure I get up with you in the morning. He said, "Why? you need to get on the bike again then?" A jab. I said, "No, for the meeting I told you about." Made me feel guilty.
Have to resurrect the day with healthy dinner and walk on trail with DH hopefully.
Thankful - that the key lime pie gourmet popcorn is all gone.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Had a frustrating event and then saw folks eating soft ice cream. Bad news. I wanted solace. So, I bought a cup of soft ice cream to soothe my feelings. Ouch! The only good news is that I didn't eat it all; the remainder is now in my freezer. It'll get eaten or forgotten. Moral: It didn't soothe my feelings; time took care of that, LOL.
Dinner on the patio was grilled scallops and the last of our garden lettuce to celebrate my birthday. The hot day had cooled to perfect sit and enjoy weather. Mango for dessert/evening snack. DW says that the mango season may be ending. What a loss.
onebyone – Wow, don't think I've even been "flummoxed" - because I'd never think of that word, LOL. Hope your presentation went well. Yay for a pleasant scale reading to boost the spirit.
maryann - Yay for a book to avoid spending time shopping. Congrats on that low blood pressure - give yourself credit for the contribution of sane eating.
nationalparker – Ouch for getting swayed by catered food. LOL at "NO IDEA what a cinnamon muffin tasted like." I'll try to remember that the next time I face some common food item that calls.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
#3: Limited Food Options Trap
Joe told me about an upcoming business trip. "It's a large marketing conference," he said. "We'll be meeting with lots of people in the industry and potential clients. I'll have business dinners to go to all for nights. And they put out all these sweet things for snacks, like doughnuts and pastries and muffins. I usually end up eating them, even though I know I shouldn't. But it's hard to get healthy snacks at these conferences."
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 137
My nascent theory about how stress really does affect my weightloss, as in foiling it altogether, or causing pounds to add on when there is no eating cause, was given a boost this morning. I got on the scale and saw 263.6
6lbs down in two days. I have been drinking way more water. I also start my day with a squeeze of lemon juice in a glass of water before I have anything else, this after reading that it is good for you for lots of reasons that apply to me and it won't do any harm to try it. I've been having green veggie juices daily for over a week as well. The last two days I was able to return to a lower carb way of eating, my preferred diet plan and I could ascribe this weight drop to that. Water weight, water loss, but the other thing is last night my art business class ended. A "weight" was lifted. I got through my big stress with it, got my certificate of completion (OMG I COMPLETED IT), did my presentation which I was told was good (I have no idea if I was coherent but apparently I was funny) and two more strangers found their way to talk to me about printmaking. I may be able to forge a group of like-minded souls here yet. I think for me stress, and worry, and frustration cause my body to release those hormones and I hang onto weight when it makes no sense rationally. Fight or flight. I am sure I have boatloads of those anxiety hormones. At one time I was agoraphobic and fought back from it so I know what true panic and fear are. I'm not sure I have a "cure" for this cause my life is stressful and I do do things that cause stress but I think just having even a little more understanding and maybe some kindness toward my long suffering ever faithful body will help me make the choice NOT TO EAT when the scale is stuck, or when I am doing everything I need to be doing but nothing is happening. I'll bet getting into that state of mind, that personal stressing out, stops the weight from leaving as well.
This is all fuzzy thinking the morning after a great accomplishment for me, but I thought I'd get it down here in words on virtual paper, so the next time I am super frustrated and believe I need to "change it up" I won't. I need to keep on truckin'...
Enjoy your day!
Evening Update: Not so good. I had an onplan day but DID NOT WRITE MY FOODPLAN OUT. I was very tired after this whole finale thing and I predicted last night to myself that I'd have trouble today but I ignored my own advice. No foodplan, exhausted by mid afternoon and wanting to please my spouse with food. When picking him up from work I knew that when I told him what I wanted to make he wouldn't want it and then what? I feel it is "my duty" to please him with food, with supper, one of our few bonding times these days. So when he went blech to what I had planned to make (and I always knew it was a meal for me-like I do know what he likes after decades together) I said let's go to KFC. And we did. And I at 6 pieces of chicken a small fries and small gravy. I have more than likely completely halted/stalled my fabulous weightloss run of two days.
I'll tell you what else. I have struggled for, what? Years? with the weightloss thing. I have TWO DAYS of "easy" loss and I feel an edge of fear to it. I can feel some anxiety. I feel some worry (is it healthy? Am I ok?) and instead of trusting my wonderful body which really knows how to function without my conscious input, instead of that I mess with it. That's one thing. The other is, I don't believe it should be easy. I think I believe it should be hard and I deserve to struggle. Two days 6lbs, too easy. Therefore not right, perhaps I think "not earned" cause in my world, all thngs are worked for, all things are earned. Harsh. Harsh standards. But I alos know that Beck and cognitive behaviour means you have to root out the THOUGHTS behind your actions. This is what I have gathered today after my foray into the world of "food".
What I did do right though outweighs the bad, not in calories but in behaviour: ate breakfast and lunch on plan. Planned a snack to tide me over the mid afternoon slump, which worked, drank 8+ glasses of water, and I closed the kitchen at 8. I spent about 20 minutes eating "food" and now 5 HOURS contemplating what if's about eating that food--which also may be part of why I do that. Thinking about my poor choices fills up time and is familiar and makes me feel it's a struggle again. I wonder if I can turn it around to believe weightloss should be not fun but what? Not emotionally loaded. Wouldn't that be nice. Anyone have any wisdom for me around this? I need a new way to re-frame this. I gotta break these patterns.
WooHoo! My computer is back with a shiny update of El Capitan. I have a big project today - making an iMovie of my nephew (all the clips I have of him.) My SIL has not one clip. The process will certainly count as "learning three new things a day." I will be watching lots of tutorials.
onebyone: terrific idea about the lemon and water.I bought a bag of dehydrated lemon powder and will start using that. It will be a good way to use that up and very easy to do. BBE: Happy bday. I suspect that the one time food help to soothe an upset was when I was three. Amazing that that memory still can control my behavior today. nationalparker: In the past I have literally thrown the sabotaging office food away (under the rest of the garbage) and told everyone "Wow, I guess it was all eaten." Not a shining moment for me but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The inevitable happened. My scale broke. I am embarrassed to say that I took the battery out one too many times to reset and re weigh. This is very old behavior that I am telling the truth about so it retains no power over me. My new resolutions: start reading my advantage cards again. Do a fearless and searching inventory of my food tracking and find points that are not being declared. Maintenance is not my goal. So far, I found 3 points that I have been ignoring because of my obstinacy. ("I shouldn't have to count that.") Everything is weighed and measured today. I will continuing to be fearless in my tracking until August first and buy the new scale on that day.
Super quick check in before I head out to say that I bypassed FOUR different cakes - every single one of which looked delicious - four thin layers with frosting in between and gorgeous on top. These were at a meeting. I cannot accurately describe the longing I had to have a slice. I started thinking, just take it and eat the top thin layer with frosting. Just two bites. No. I cannot go down that road. They were thin slices, but four levels. I thought, they NEVER have that one, I'd better get it while I can. This cannot be stronger than my desire to lose weight and gain strength and walk more stairs. These cakes are still in my stream of consciousness.
DH walked with me last night - his hip felt better, so that's good. Hoping we can go tonight, as well. It is very humid here - we were walking at p.m. and it was 85 and 88% humidity. The AC felt good when we got home. Personals tonight, hopefully! But in the meantime, Bill HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY and sorry I missed it yesterday - I have not been a good communicator on here. OneByOne - KUDOS on completing your art-trepreneur project and sounds like it was well-received. Maryann - Credits for ending the scale war as the victor with the acknowledgement. I thought my battery was dying one time and replaced it with a new one and gained four pounds. I was SO MIFFED. I put the old battery back in but it kept the new weight. It tattled on me, apparently. GardnerJoy - Hope you're having a good week with a food plan.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included stopping by the library to return the Nook that I'd borrowed. I never got around to really using it, so I did learn that I'm not that interested. It came preloaded with books - just not ones that are on my current reading list. Maybe someday an electronic book will appeal to me.
Dinner was all cold stuff consumed out on the patio. This time of year is near magic. The gardens are green, the birds are about, and the temperature is soothing. We did have a mango for dessert - maybe as a last gasp.
onebyone – Thanks for the thoughts about the need for weight loss to be hard. Our Sabotaging Thoughts come in some many flavors. It's a challenge to go inside KFC and not want the comfort of their salty chicken. Perhaps if you planned your journey to KFC, you could budget two pieces of chicken and not feel it such a set back.
maryann - Ouch for the death of your scale with Kudos for a schedule for its replacement. Yay for a familiar computer to work with.
nationalparker – FOUR HUGE Kudos for bypassing those four cakes at your meeting. LOL at your battery story.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
#3: Limited Food Options Trap
We came up with a plan. If Joe was staying at a hotel with a gift shop, he could most likely buy nuts or protein bars - or just bring them from home. He pulled out his smartphone to add these items to his packing list. Noting that he's always busy just before traveling, he added a task into his schedule for the day before: "Buy nuts/bars."
Now we had to prepare Joe for sabotaging thoughts he might have when he saw people eating the conference snacks. "What do you want to remind yourself if you have your healthy snack with you but you're tempted by the doughnuts?" I asked.
Joe paused and thought. "I've had plenty of trips where I ate those snacks. They tasted good, but I felt bad afterward. And I gained weight. It really wasn't worth it." He wrote a reminder card:
No eating conference snacks! I don't want to feel
bad, and I don't want to gain weight. Eating the
healthy snacks I brought with me will make me
feel good, and I won't gain weight. Win-win.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 137
Read my advantage cards. Credit.
Roasted three portions of brussel sprouts so I have three days of veggies. Credit.
Planned food and pilates/bike today.
Super proud of myself for working on nephew's iMovie. The clips span from 2003 - 2011. My SIL has had a very rough year and I know this will brighten her day. Credit for a food distraction that also helps others. When I am working on a project (usually crafting or sewing) I can go hours without thinking about food.
I had some fun in a consignment store. I know most of our posters hate clothes shopping but I love it. I think it stems from the fact that growing up, I had no clothes and no idea how to buy clothes that fit. It was a great source of shame that I couldn't dress myself becomingly. It became even more embarrassing when I zoomed over 200 pounds. So even though I am ten pounds higher than I want to be, I have many outfits that are winners. I know it is a winner because someone will say, "What a nice . . . " this gives me a feeling of control and safety. I can take care of myself. I usually try to find this secure feeling in my aberrant eating behaviors. It is good to find healthy ways to feel calm and secure.
It was strange not to weigh myself this morning. I look to August 1 and the new scale for proof of my success.
Planning = good. Execution = not so good. Larger lunch than planned since our staff went out. I completely skipped the bun on my chicken sandwich but did order the small side of potato wedges. Um. Phooey. Fast forward to dinner, I text DH to say I need to go light, want me to pick you up something? Ok... then we change to a sub shop since we had a buy one, get one free coupon, and instead of sticking to a 400 cal dinner which, honestly, should be EASY, I get a 700-cal sub and eat nearly all of it because by then, I was hungry. Now, having finished dinner, I'm kicking myself for not filling up with water, etc. ... but ending the day (at this point) over by a big chunk. I aim to get on the bike tonight, but we've got a bunch of trip planning to do and I want to tackle some house cleaning. This morning under my ticker, but figure that won't hold.
Ate two of the grape tomatoes from my plant - warm from the heat and so good ... tough skins, though. (Know how to prevent that next year?)
Plans for yesterday evening changed midafternoon - got Coldplay tickets, so we did a quick turnaround at home and headed to the arena for the concert. Good karma!
Last edited by nationalparker; 07-21-2016 at 08:15 PM.
Good food day today. I visited a new gallery and saw a printmaking studio set up inside a Boxcar. Uninsulated, it is hot and sweaty in there right now. Lithography and copper etching can be done there. It's a possible space for me to create in in the future. We'll see.
Super hot here. Not looking forward to the weekend outside. Tomorrow I set up as artist in residence once again at the local Gallery sharing the space and the time with another artist . I will be focused solely on woodblock prints. I am excited to get to this work!
Friday - Alexander Calder born (Pennsylvania, 1898)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – DW and I made trips to an upscale bathroom fixture store and to Home Depot. Home Depot displayed stuff with disappointing quality, albeit at very low prices. "The next level of quality requires custom construction." Perhaps. Even the vanity samples on display were chipped in a way that made them look cheap. We have to replace the vanity and medicine cabinet in our rental unit. This shopping business is the pits.
Dinner was grilled salmon on the patio. We never tire of that.
onebyone – Neat to get the time to focus on woodblock prints. They appeal to me because they've been done for so long.
maryann - Super Kudos for accepting compliments about your clothes.
nationalparker – Yep, when we don't get around to eating until we're hungry, it's a challenge. Yay for homegrown grape tomatoes - we've not harvested anything yet.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
#3: Limited Food Options Trap
Joe's next problem would be conference dinners. "There's a set menu," he told me, "and you don't get much choice over what you eat."
I pointed out a very important distinction to Joe: while he may not always have control over what food is served to him, he always has the ability to control what food he actually puts in his mouth. Joe and I decided that during these conference dinners, he would make the best choices he could and institute portion control.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 138
Weighed this morning. Scale dropped a bit after yesterday's rise and yesterday's careful eating: 266.8 today. My weightloss goal for the month was to be 265 at the end of it. I'm going to make that I believe. That I saw 263 two weigh-in's ago makes me feel I can achieve a lower number than 265, however, we takes what we can get!
A new week starts for me today. I have my artist in residence stint beginning this afternoon. I have to gather the work I want to display this morning, after I drop DH off at work. I will be at the gallery from noon until 8, hopefully being able to leave at 5 to go get DH from his work to bring him home. He said he'd take the bus home but the temperatures are brutal today: 35C (95F) feeling like 41C (105F!). He'd be walking home in that. I don't think so.
Foodwise I did ok yesterday. I had breakfast as planned and I chose well for lunch which was eaten mid afternoon and I felt no need to eat supper so I didn't. I had a pint of blueberries instead. I was out visiting that gallery with my friend and I knew only one place to eat in that town which is an authentic Mexican place (super rare here) and so we shared fajitas: grilled meat and veggies, lettuce small portion sour cream and 4 small soft flour tortillas. I did have a full on ice tea, as in not diet, but that was the worst of it yesterday.
Today will require planning as well and I will make my juices before we leave this morning.
I did tell a whole bunch of folks that I am at the farmers' markets on the weekends so I think I have to go to the farmers' markets this weekend which means I cut into my gallery time. I can have a few hours on Saturday after my market, but Sunday is a complete write-off. And Mondays we are closed there. My most solid work time will be Tuesday - Thursday. And today. I need to get to it right away.
Phone check in. Off to San Francisco for two days than Tahoe for three days. I am happy to see friends but anxious about food events right now. I will track, read my advantage cards, drink lots of water and focus on fruits and veggies.
The blues have resurface this week. I need to be especially careful with myself. Lots of walking and good sleep.
Well, my first week is wrapping up here and I can honestly say I could have done a lot better. And I'm not even angling for perfection. Today - good breakfast, lunch with a friend at a cafe was okay - I ate half of my sandwich but then ate the rest four hours later at 3:45 ... dinner at 7 was tapas at home. I saved my bag of blue corn tortilla chips and put those on a tray with leftover turkey taco meat and added a bit of shredded cheese and made some quick nachos as part of our quick bites dinner. A treat, then. I can't remember when I started this "first week" but I'm going to make my executive decision and say I'm weighing to count it on Sunday because I'm not proud of today. No donuts (!) which was an achievement since there were few folks eating them and the buyer took the rest home with him for his family. Stayed up late last night cleaning, so no bike time, but wasn't sitting down at all for a few hours except when booking some travel. It's hot and MUGGY here, and much of the weekend for me will be spent inside with brief times out. No trail walk - they're issuing the heat advisories all over it seems. Off to try to find another flight...the beach in October sounds like a nice way to kick off the "fall". We'll see what we can work out.
Saturday - R.I.P. Eudora Welty at 92 (Jackson, MS, 2001)
Diet Coaches/Buddies – We had dinner inside to avoid the heat - just Ouch for us since that's uncommon. But eating was on plan for the day, CREDIT moi.
Exercise was marching about Lowes attempting to buy the most common, vanilla vanity possible. Finally, a smart sales associate told us that the quality we wanted was only sold as 'custom.' So off we trotted to their custom section where, low and behold, a competent guy quickly designed the standard sized vanity for the price we had expected to pay for off-the-shelf. We paid and left. If they sold ice cream on the way out I would have bought some, LOL. It feels good to complete a task.
onebyone – Yep, "we takes what we can get!" is the road to tranquility. Kudos for juggling all those events.
maryann - Waving back toward San Francisco. Yay for "Lots of walking and good sleep."
nationalparker – Always Kudos for "No donuts (!)" on your office Donut Friday. Heat advisories sound serious.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 6 Family Traps
#3: Limited Food Options Trap
Joe made a list.
Conference Dinner Plan
Club soda during cocktail hour
Up to 2 passed appetizers, plus raw vegetables if available
No bread (I have plenty of opportunities to get really good bread at home.)
One glass of wine or beer during dinner
Salad with dressing on the side
Soup (but just a coule of spoonfuls if it's cream based)
Entree (part of a portion if it's big) plus most of 2 side dishes
Reasonable-size portion of dessert, it it looks good
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 138
Good day here beginning with the farmers' market. We each picked a reasonable breakfast "treat" and returned home to eat it for brunch at the table, savoring it. I ate half of mine and DH took the other half, which I just remembered! Heat/humidity combo was tough. Time outside was in brief segments. Trimmed shrubs and deadheaded two huge daisy bushes ... probably the wrong way/time for both. Mosquito-attacked in the process and have nine bites on one leg. Rode the bike tonight.
Bill - OK - what is this Cafe Fleuri at the Langham that I just heard of? Have you been there for their all-you-can-eat chocolate bar? Divulge!
Wednesday - Armstrong walks on moon (1969)
Mysteries of Nature
