I'm thinking that all this extra stuff will end at some point-but not today. The boiler is finished and I have hot water but Tom needs to bleed all the old radiators today while I'm at work. That necessitated moving everything away in each room and doing a little pick up, too. When I get off work the carpet guy is coming to "assess". My lifetime warranty on the new carpet only applies if I have it cleaned every two years and my anniversary is Aug. 3. I called yesterday and he had an opening for tomorrow. It's great-I won't be sweating it at the last minute.....so I'm also moving all the furniture out of the 3 rooms he will be doing. Fortunately, he says he doesn't need the bed moved however all my under-bed storage items will have to go elsewhere.
Amidst all of this, food continues to be pretty good. It just makes me so happy to have found a food plan I seem to be able to follow with ease and that I'm able to counter all the off plan thoughts that wander through, thanks to BDS.
Yesterday had some slippery areas yet I came away in pretty good shape, thanks to much practiced resistance tools. Donuts showed up at work for the second day in a row to join the cheapo BBMuffins that have been hanging out. I didn't touch either and did move the donuts out of the mainstream after an appropriate period of time. Dinner was 1/2 of another work mistake and I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I was going to so I'll bravely pitch the rest of it this morning. Credit.
Thanks to all of you for being here as I know that daily support makes all the difference.
BBE, your plumber and mine would get along well. Every time he does a project he does a little upgrading, too. I think it's a good thing. Credit for giving him the call to resolve another project!
onebyone, thinking of you today Take care and I look forward to hearing about your project as you keep your DB in mind. ( Remembering that water aerobics/water yoga was my successful starting point into the world of planned exercise)
Cheryl(GosfordGirl), sorry you had an anxious day! Even though you found some ch cake, having your dinner planned was certainly a help. Credit.
Aztricia, welcome home and credit for jumping right back on plan. I find that a detox day works very well. Hope it helped you, as well.
nationalparker, yay for a good food day, even though you are not sure why. I have sprouted raisin bread in the freezer and have found it is very satisfying when I'm in the mood for something far less nutritious. Credit for walking by all the other less than stellar choices!
maryann, yay for a successful day as you walked through DS's departure. Such success to be able to purchase items you've always "dreamed of wearing". I find those items to be very motivating!
gardenerjoy, yay for home grown tomatoes!
OK, off to finish my radiator clearing! Have a great day everyone!
Up the hill to Tahoe. Credit for meal written down and Beck Day 15 read. Will be on a girl's trip to spa. I am determine to not let it be an excuse to eat. My ARC is I will go to social events to socialize and not use them as an excuse to eat.
Flying home today. Dad is declining very rapidly. priest gave him last rites today. I will arrive tonight. Thankful for financial ability to fly home and life in a country that enables that. One month tomorrow was mom's funeral. This is so quick.
I went to the pantry repeatedly after running home from work to pack. Because food will solve this. Sheesh.
Edited - made it home in time and have been sitting by Dad's hospital bedside set up at home. He's not aware I'm here, really. Taking a break for a few minutes. I did not eat well today, but this ends today. Over by about 500 calories.
Last edited by nationalparker; 07-16-2014 at 05:14 AM.
Credits:
Stuck to foodplan
Attended 1st TOPS meeting ...more on this tomorrow
Cooked from scratch
Used some of my resistance muscle
Finally began work toward the gallery show, but
what I made isn't what I thought I'd make. I am sleeping on it. Will wait to see how I feel about it tomorrow.
Nationalparker: have a safe trip home. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi, I am on day 4 of the Beck Diet Solution, and also have been on the IP diet for about 3 months. I am struggling with a response to a negative thought, which is one I have had many times before, and am looking for some feedback.
There are a few restaurants where I live that have IP menus for people on the diet. When I am dieting I am normally concerned to go out to dinner because I feel like chefs want to make their food taste good regardless of what the customer wants or needs.Anyway, I try to go out even to an IP friendly place as infrequently as possible. So tonight my husband had a friend in town and wanted to go out to show her the town. I of course suggest this IP friendly place, prepared with what I am going to order... 4oz fish, mushrooms and roasted red pepper. Even though it's IP, I remind the waitress (who I have had before), no oil or butter. Food comes, it was delicious. Too good. I start looking at my plate, and notice oil/butter. My mind starts going... I know it's butter now. Anyway, too late, I ate it. I tell myself okay this was unplanned, but I did what I could to order as healthy as possible. Then more negative thoughts, I should have stayed home, I shouldnt have come here, I'm not going to have a loss this week. This is bad, etc. I go back and acknowledge myself for choosing a healthy item, tracking my food today, and not ordering dessert or other things that I normally like to get at the restaurant. But I can "feel" my pants getting tighter, as well as my shirt... I feel that I know longer look as "skinny" as I thought before we got there. I want to go home, so we can go on a walk. That's it, I'm going to walk when I get home, and hopefully this butter doesnt mess me up.
Anyway, clearly I see these thoughts as totally irrational, but they are there with me when I think I have a problem like this.
Food today was better and I have organised dinner to eat when I finish this. I haven't been able to exercise because I have had asthma/allergies (weird for winter) probably due to the "August" windswhich usually come in October so who knows what is going on - even the doctor said he was getting a lot of cases.
Got a message today that I hadn't changed my ticker in 80 days which was a bit grim - that means I have been messing about for 80 days and in fact my weight has been going up. So I changed the ticker and that is where I am at the moment tragically.
I am in a holding pattern for the next week and will try to make sensible choices and not gain any weight - unfortunately I can barely keep it together so that is the best I can do. It turns out I will need to work on my weekend away which is annoying but it would be more annoying to be out of control with work not done. PT at gym tomorrow - at least it will get me there and hope I survive
Nationalparker - I am thinking of you as you go to see your father during a period of massive family change - take care.
BillBE - Credit for negotiating mentally difficult stuff and eating "OKish"
Debbie (Lexxiss) - Seems like you are up to your neck in household maintenance. Credit for having a plan and feeling safe within it
Gardenerjoy - glad you posted to ward off another snack attack. Glad someone else likes Hitchhiker's - radio or print!
Maryann - Hope Tahoe went well
ChoosingHappy - Welcome. I look forward to hearing more from you. Those sabotaging thoughts are tricky and you have really highlighted their impact. Credit for your degree of insight
Will get back to my list of credits when I am more organised coaches
Last edited by GosfordGirl; 07-16-2014 at 05:41 AM.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Walk, CREDIT moi, included picking up a rotisserie chicken for a few days meals. Picked our first cherry tomato for dinner - the start of a good thing since there's a bunch of hard green one's on the vines. For what it's worth, I can attest that an avocado cut open when it's too hard to eat will sit in the fridge remaining too hard to eat forever. Now I'm in a scientific experiment waiting to see just what it does sitting in there. Presumably, it can't really last forever. Feel like I'm in a stubbornness contest with a two year old, unlikely to win but interested in how it'll end.
Eating was only OK. I did resist buying additional snacks at the supermarket. When out walking, I passed several folks walking with ice cream. Now that's a bad idea to get into my head since our area competes for title to the most 'premium' (i.e. most fat content).
onebyone – Congrats for making it to your first TOPS meeting.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Will have to find my own 'talisman' to fight snacking.
Debbie (Lexxiss) – Kudos for ignoring the "cheapo BBMuffins that have been hanging out" (image of James Dean slouching). Yay for being able to toss half a meal.
Cheryl (GosfordGirl) – Ouch for a dose of "anxious all day" - untitled anxious is its own Sabotaging Thought seeking relief in food. I love the beach in the winter when I'm wearing the right clothes to be warm and marvel at the sea ducks oblivious to the cold. - Ouch for winter allergies. Sometimes a holding pattern is the good choice.
maryann - Such a clear notion, "social events to socialize."
nationalparker – Holding you in the light as you sit with your Dad in the hospital. Glad you were able to respond so rapidly to fly down there.
ChoosingHappy - Congrats for making it to day 4 of the Beck Diet Solution - Give Yourself Credit. My take is that several steps you took deserve credit: Kudos for knowing in advance which restaurant is IP friendly, Kudos for asking that your party go to that restaurant, Kudos for ordering an IP friendly dish, Kudos for asking the waitress to be sure that no fats were used in the cooking, Kudos for "tracking my food today," Kudos for "I'm going to walk when I get home," and Kudos for reviewing your performance to help make future choices.
This business of tracking our food leads to irrational thoughts - you're right on track for that. I'm aware that IP (Ideal Protein Diet) has much more strict boundaries than most eating plans. Despite that you deserve to give yourself serious credit for making mindful choices that allowed you to join your husband and friend while still staying your path. You're winning; keep up the good work. Glad that you've joined us.
Readers -
Quote:
day 19Stop Fooling Yourself
measuring up . . . You won't have to measure food for the rest of your life, however. As soon as you become adept at visualizing portion sizes, you can stop. (Of course, whenever you introduce a new food into your diet, you'll need to measure it.)
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 163.
Yesterday I under-ate as I responded to the duties of the moment. Credit. I've got a large task to finish before work so the carpet cleaner can perform in my absence. Credit for lots of spontaneous exercise already.
nationalparker, sending cyber-support your way.
ChoosingHappy, Welcome! I agree with BillBlueEyes, you did a great job of planning ahead and it's just a blip in the big picture! BeckDietSolution, and especially the coaches here, are really helpful as we learn to counter our sabotaging thoughts and grow in diet/food awareness. Kudos to you for joining us!
I did slightly better with snacking yesterday, planning to keep the snacks exactly on plan today.
WI: +0.1 in kg, Exercise: +50 680/1400 minutes for July, Food: 80% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
nationalparker: so sorry. I'm glad you can be where you want to be at this time. Hugs.
ChoosingHappy: Welcome! It gets better. Do you weigh daily? That sounds counterintuitive, but over time, it really helped me accept that things happen. And, then, they get better. I don't panic as much any more because I know that a little unexpected butter (and, worse, all the sodium in a restaurant meal) will, at most, cause a temporary blip that I won't even remember in the long run.
Love your user name. "I choose to be happy" has been my mantra since my birthday -- it really seems to be helping.
Take What You Need and Leave The Rest. This has definitely got to be the attitude I cultivate if I want to go to TOPS. Some of their materials are very very old school old-fashioned ideas. Very non-recoveryish(for all you Anon-knowledgable folks). I was shocked. But, yet, and still, there are things to recommend it. I was BY FAR the youngest person there. We were all women. About 9 of us were there. One woman was a KOPS member=Keeping Pounds Off Sensibly ie. in maintenance= 3 lbs over to 7lbs under goal weight. They encourage KOPS members to remain with the group to help them stay at their goal weight, which I thought admirable for sure. One of the members in the room has been going for 45 years to that group. Her daughter was with her last night as she attends when she comes to town. The daughter is 67. I found out her age cause the meeting was a slog by slog of recent surgeries, knee replacement stories-tips and hints! and general age-related topics. I felt so young! So spry!
They have a weigh-in scale. They have incentives to lose weight every week (pledge to lose a lb by next meeting by contributing a dollar to the kitty. If you succeed you split the pot). The group's total losses vs total gains are announced. They provide an exchange-based foodplan to follow based on several calorie levels: 1800, 1500, 1200. They ask you to get your doctor to set your goal weight for you. (um, really? feels weird to me.) Your doctor is also to approve your foodplan. (again, really?) And you say this pledge at the beginning of the meeting:
TOPS Pledge:
I am an intelligent Person.
I will control my emotions,
not let my emotions control me.
Every time I am tempted to use food
to satisfy my frustrated desires,
build up my injured ego
or dull my senses, I will remember:
Even though I over-eat in private,
my excess poundage
is there for all the world to see.
I will Take Off Pounds Sensibly.
So. I thought "control my emotions? what? Intelligent person? what? it is either or? What? but then I agree with the second paragraph which made me think maybe they aren't all clueless but then they lost me again with my excess poundage being there for all the world to see. Makes me think they are saying we of the excess pounder club shouldn't be out in the world, but that's my anger and defiance talking. All in all though they were nice people. I think the weekly weigh in will benefit me. I do feel they are supportive. But the talk around the table was very food-centric. Apparently it was an unusual meeting as around here the summertime=people not being home. They are mostly at the cottage so everything sort of shuts down. It's been my experience at the potters' guild as well. So I am going to take the good with the objectionable and use the TOPS thing for accountability and support. They don't have to be my everything as I have YOUS GUYS and my own resources as well. Apparently I was their first new member in a long time and their first online member ever. Welcome to the New Millenium local TOPS chapter.
Btw weigh-in last night was 277.5. Weigh in here at home this morning was 274.9. It's all good my friends. I also pulled up the chart of my weightloss/gains on my wii fit for the past year. Today is the day I learned of my brother's death exactly a year ago. And my weight made a slow but steady climb from a low of 250 exactly a year ago to 280 this past week. 30lbs+. I know it was a reaction to my brother's death. I also know were it not for this online group it would have been much much more. I am easily capable of that. I look forward to the track back down to a normal-for-me weight over the coming year. I believe my brother would have wished for me good health and a long life full of art making and joy.
Missed checking in last night as I was late home then needed to chop veggies with dh for the week and walk Teddy before bed. The mosquitoes got me! Still need to boil eggs. But a day of only raw foods has had its affect...back to ticker. YEAH! Going to keep going until my bag of "Super Greens" from Costco is gone, then back to regular tracking. Those greens are yum. Much better than their baby kale or plain spinach.
BillBlueEyes Looking forward to the day a single chicken will make several meals Love fresh tomatoes! LOL, your avocado description made my day. Yes, no lost children, though at least one would have enjoyed staying with Grandma! They are always spoiled there. Sorry the snacks are still getting you. You left a hardware store AND a book store without purchases?!?! You are amazing! So cool that so many birds are available in your area this year. Hope you found a dishwasher. We just replaced ours by a model rated well in Consumer Reports, luckily Lowes had it in stock.
Cheryl/GosfordGirl Hoping you figure out the allergies and feel better soon. Wishing you the best at PT. DH loves Hitchhiker's Guide, I read it. We enjoyed the Hobbit on audio CD but I had a difficult time getting through it otherwise. Kudos for updating your tracker, wishing you the best in reigning in to healthy choices. What part of fennel do you use in salad? We like the bulb cooked, but it seems a bit tough to eat raw. Is it the greens?
ChoosingHappy Welcome! Negative thoughts are rarely rational. Wishing you the best in confronting them.
Debbie/Lexxiss Kudos for tasks completed and spontaneous exercise. Glad you could get your carpet taken care of in time. Picking raspberries sounds awesome...love them!
flnu Good to "see" you. Kudos for practicing maintenance, a skill necessary to healthy living!
FutureFitChick Trying to picture OP with no food
gardenerjoy Kudos for posting as an avoidance of snack attacks. We are "cooling off" here...only 100F, but the 63% humidity makes it feel worse than the 110. Awesome for playing Bugs Bunny to avoid overeating. I agree that DF tone leaves a feel of indulgence and the balance of his cautionary words does not completely "fix" it.
maryann Kudos for day 15 and self care at the spa! Happy social time. Hope your son is enjoying his trip.
nationalparker So sorry your dad is not aware for you to communicate. I am glad you've been able to make it to see him. Such a hard month for you Glad you were able to enjoy time at the dinner theater before having to return to your dad.
onebyone Kudos for using your resistance muscle. Hope you've found a place to exercise in water and added it to your schedule. So glad your sis liked your accountant and that you found so many good choices for your mom's future care.
Woodland Kudos for a cooperative scale and for working on Beck skills.
Thank you so much for all of your feedback and support.
BillBlueEyes: I came across them on Amazon, and have heard a lot about CBT, so I figured it would help me with all all distorted thoughts around food. When I started IP, and would research recipes, 3 fat chicks would always pop up in my google search. I joined, and then while looking around came across the Beck Forum. I have been on more diets then I can remember, and I am only 29. For the last 7 years or so, I have gained and lost about 20-30lbs on a yearly basis. It seems as though what I have been doing hasnt been working. Those self hatred thoughts, and then I deserve it thoughts, along with using food as a coping mechanism are all too familiar, and arent working for me either. I have had these books since before I started IP, so when I saw this forum it reminded me to take a look at the books. I know a lot of people in my area including family who have been successful with IP, so I got a lot of insight into it before I started. Before I started, my husband and I spoke and I committed to do this diet with ease, and not struggle like I always did with diets in the past, and complain about what I cant have. So far, IP has been the easiest diet yet I love what I am eating, and am forcing myself to do things I normally wouldnt do when on other strict diets (such as go out to eat, have people over, go to parties, dinner parties, vacation, etc). However, the negative thoughts are still there, very loud, and I really want to learn to change them around as I know that is what has been holding me back from dieting and actually maintaining the weight.
GardenerJoy: I weigh only once a week with my IP coach, as well as get measured. I found that my thoughts were more obsessive about eating when I used to weigh everyday. I am now trying to teach myself to not have such high expectations at the weekly weigh in. I have a lot of magical thinking going on when it comes to weighing in... like I want to see a 12lb loss every week, and am very disappointed when I only see a 1 or 2 lb loss... surely my rational self knows the 12 lb is not realistic nor would it be healthy, but that's where my brain continues to trick me, leading to disappointment, and before IP, self sabatoging with food.
I still have to read a bit more about this forum before I jump completely in, but last night I was really just stuck on those thoughts and thought this would be a good place
Last edited by ChoosingHappy; 07-16-2014 at 06:38 PM.
Take care and I look forward to hearing about your project as you keep your DB in mind. ( Remembering that water aerobics/water yoga was my successful starting point into the world of planned exercise)
Welcome ChoosingHappy
Twynaltr=tops
Welcome to the New Millenium local TOPS chapter.
Love fresh tomatoes! LOL, your avocado description made my day. Yes, no lost children, though at least one would have enjoyed staying with Grandma! They are always spoiled there. Sorry the snacks are still getting you. You left a hardware store AND a book store without purchases?!?! You are amazing! So cool that so many birds are available in your area this year. Hope you found a dishwasher. We just replaced ours by a model rated well in Consumer Reports, luckily Lowes had it in stock. 
Glad you were able to enjoy time at the dinner theater before having to return to your dad.
and for working on Beck skills.
