So annoyed with everything today. Especially with how yesterday turned out. MORE FOOD PUSHERS: strangers and friends alike. I was feeling down and frustrated after the St Patrick's Day events and then I was like a sitting duck for wanting some comfort and relief and ease. To avoid all food pushers I opted to stay in today, instead of go to my studio. And then I saw a facebook post from a friend with an image of her submission to the printmaking show I had decided I couldn't do and now, of course, I feel sad I am blowing off my own work/interests/goals and now I want to submit to it. Since DH now has the car, this will require me to go to the studio tonight if I want to enter a print into the show.
*I am sighing deeply here*
Yesterday I intended to visit my mom, see where we are at with the transition from reg. underwear to disposable ones *sigh* which require me to remove all reg underwear from her room and since I was to do this I also went to see her and pick up her laundry. I was going to go in the morning but had to stop by the ceramic room to see if my missing glaze materials were there, cause if they were then I didn't have to look for them in my studio, which is close to where my mom lives. They weren't there, but my friends were. So we started talking and man, I am upset. I have been unwilling and unable to voice my feelings about my mother's situation to anyone. I reluctantly did so to my friends. It unleashed a torrent of anger ranging from the MIL to the food pushing to the marrying to the long term care to my sister to my inability to make anything or just simply get and STAY at work. Just really frustrated. My friends and I had plans to meet at noon as we were going to the Persian Bazaars in town--New Years celebrations for the Persian community and one of my pottery friends is Persian so 4 of us were going with her as our guide. I had asked her in advance if there would be food (so I could prepare) she said no and OMG so not true! COOKIES EVERYWHERE all new and unusual and everyone handing out free samples (Billblueeyes you would have DIED at the sheer quantity and variety of treenuts on offer--also free sampled at every booth) and offering tastes and OMG I said no no no no no and then, at yet another booth, while all my friends took one they said to me "you might as well" and then the guy pushing the clover-leaf shaped pistacho nut topped miniature creation said "it's New Year's! Why not!?" and so I ate it. And then I just ate whatever everyone was eating and then I bought cookies and then I ate some at home and this morning the scale is up 3.3lbs.
What took me, oh a month or so to drop, was back overnight.
Whoosh in the wrong direction FOR WHAT?
So I am avoiding people today. I have a foodplan. My sister wants to skype or call or something.
I am avoiding her.
I already got a call from the home where my mom lives in response to a note I left to the staff yesterday over my confusion as to why her clothes are sitting out in a laundry basket with a note in them?(Answer: she has no idea--someone must have washed her clothes even though they know I do that and had just done that--and she needs more hangers. Hello? She needs less clothes and now I have to re-order/remove stuff from her dresser and label the drawers, not for my mom, but for the support staff who help dress her. Still. I really really really want my mom to stay there and NOT go to a long term care place. So I will comply and be compliant.)
Anyway, an on plan day is planned for today. Plus plenty of water and I did track the food as best I could from yesterday just this morning and it looks like I was only 400calories over budget so not a disaster unless I compound it today. DH was supposed to take those cookies to work but they are here. I'm shoving them in the freezer.
Ok I feel better, Thanks for letting me vent.
PS I also listen to Simply the Best by Grant Boddington 2x a day. It's only 10 minutes, I love his Australian accent, and I swear it is really helping reprogram the subconcsious saboteur that lurks within. I recommend it.
__________________ **** 5lbs at a time. one * for every pound lost. RESTART:19/1/2015 - 284.8lbs
Hello to all,
Terrible day today. First, I had fruit, non-fat plain yogurt, and a half cup of homemade granola this morning. Delicious, right? I put the granola into MFP and discover that it has 505 calories. Then, I worked through lunch. The cafeteria closes at 1:00 and the only other source of food is the 7-11. I had a bag of squid-flavored potato chips and something called a salabao which kind of a bun thing with black mushrooms and pork. You’ll recall I live in Laos if you are wondering why you’ve never found the squid aisle in your 7-11. Then, I planned to have a Caesar salad for dinner and I ordered pizza for the girls. (Foreshadowing) I ate my lovely salad and then proceeded to eat four pieces of pepperoni pizza. For the record, I did read my card first but decided to eat it anyway, and I was glad. Beck always talks about how bummed you’ll be after you give into a craving but I am still feeling glad and full. Not even a tennis lesson on a too-full stomach was enough to move me to regret. Maybe I’ll regret it tomorrow. I will definitely be back on track tomorrow, although I have to travel (by plane) for work, which throws everything off. Meh.
Ceejay: Thanks for the heads up on the app. I will check it out.
Tricia: I’ve been googling about T-Tapp. There is a lot of wild stuff. I think I want to try Hit the Floor but it’s expensive.
FutureFitChick and BethFromDayton: I hope all is well.
I am enjoying a very quiet evening, punctuated by the calling of the Canadian geese in the field next to me, the snapping and crackling of my fireplace, and listening to the wind whipping above the chimney. Decided to go with a quiet, meditational evening and will journal and enjoy a cup of hot tea here in a while.
Spoke with my brother earlier and he is quite worried about our dad, who is just in such severe pain. Tests have now been completed and consultation is on Monday. I feel the past six weeks have been test, test, consult, more testing and we still know so little. His heightened concern has me antsy. I've rebooked my trip to stay a few extra days when I visit in April. This will be a priority over work for that time period, but they're okay with me doing half sick days and half work days ... with our work, it's easy to see what is getting done.
I didn't sleep very soundly last night, and will start the process off with a hot bath tonight, to get a bit dozy.
I haven't been tracking my streak, yet i know I've been OP for about two weeks, and am buoyed by that. I know I'll have a splurge meal with some neighbors for Mexican in the next few days, and then a belated birthday gift night out for DH on Saturday (to see Defending the Caveman, which is supposed to be riotiously funny... we shall see) and will enjoy dinner downtown afterward. So if I can stay on track and just enjoy two meals that are a bit higher, I'm happy with balancing that out. I don't want to live my life regretting choices or bypassing enjoyable meals if I am able to keep portions/calories in a workable range. I just cannot sabotage myself as I tend to do. Oh, down a bit - this is working well, let's do this instead. blerg.
I tried to catch up but then got bogged down. My responses are out of date but heartfelt
Middle of work week means I need to economize my time and words to keep this family running. I promised DS we would watch Frozen again when it came out. So I will use the little popcorn I have left to make a movie treat . I will eat none.
Three days of OP. Salad, smopothie and logging. Weight is 3 pounds above ticker. It is moving in the right direction.
gardenerjoy: You are absolutely right about gratitude. It is the solutions to almost all my problems. It is the key to humilty as well. So I stop trying to play God and get on with the business of creating my life.
6crowsgold: I have found the my peace with food is directly relational to my peace in my life.
nationalparker: I appreciate the remarks remarks. The only thing I can really control is my attitude.
AZTricia Great solution - into action with a walk.
ladym0208: Great reminder to beware linking mysize to my self esteem. Insidious,
Lexxiss: Happy belated bday with no food attached
flnu: Yes. Black and White thinking error. I am always trying to label something wrong or right. Mostly it just "is."
Rearranged schedule for spring break this week so today was not pizza day, yeah! Instead had chicken veggie soup and the total for today's calories is 1645 ++OP food. Walked pup and did DVD so ++OP exercise too. A good day. My bad shoulder is doing better with stretches and exercise and not causing pain. Though I had a bit of a reality check when I measured for an online clothing order and my size is not as reduced as I might hope...or I'm measuring wrong. Maybe I need to stick with local stuff I can try on...
nationalparker I think I need to do the same with my closet and get rid of what still doesn't fit in the fall. There is also stuff I still have from living in the mid-west that will never work here in AZ that should go regardless. Kudos for resisting ice cream to deal with stress! I'm glad you are having a quiet evening, hope the bath allows you to rest well. Enjoy your Mexican night
CeeJay awesome for 4 OP days!
GosfordGirl/Cheryl Kudos for posting and acknowledging where you really are. I'm glad that CeeJay's track is helping you and you are getting back OP.
BillBlueEyes LOL about becoming a thermometer. I've been eating enough fish (mostly salmon) that I need to pay attention to that as well, thanks for the reminder. Chicken's are both almost gone and probably won't last past dh packing a lunch for tomorrow.
6crowsgold Writing letters is an awesome distraction from snacking! Great job with OP!
gardenerjoy Thanks for sharing how you are switching to weight loss mode as I am trying to learn how to deal with maintenance (when I ever make it there!) and your positive attitude and determination to do what is right is a great example.
onebyone Yikes for all the food pushers and stress! I hope you are able to "oh well" let it go and refocus to OP. Great choice to freeze the cookies!
flnu Oh my - granola is extremely calorie dense! Kudos for the choice to be back OP tomorrow. Hope you have a great trip.
shcirerf Welcome! Hope you enjoy the pink book.
maryann Is Frozen out now? We have not seen it yet! Have fun. Awesome for 3 days OP and lost pounds!!
Tricia in AZ
Weight loss Plan: Track food in Diet Power, Exercise Plan: walk dog + TTapp DVD 3X/wk
Thursday - First day of Spring - The Vernal Equinox
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Welcome Spring!! You've been anticipated in the northern hemisphere. Welcome Autumnal Equinox in the southern hemisphere.
Lunch was the challenge. I was scheduled busy until two hours after my daily lunch time, although I could bring my 'brown bag' lunch to the meeting that sat right atop the time I'd have liked to be eating. I didn't start the morning soon enough to make my peanut butter, pecan, and banana sandwich. DW suggested one of her Cricket Bars to tide me over. It's easy to distract a meeting by the simple statement, "Pardon me while I eat my Cricket Bar," but no one accepted my offer to split it. Bad news is that it was 290 calories - other granola bars in our pantry are about 190 calories. A granola bar doesn't go into my brain as food, so it didn't really satisfy. Nevertheless, when I got to my kitchen, I skipped my normal lunch except for the raw veggies. CREDIT moi for not using the schedule to justify eating a double sized lunch.
Exercise was walking, CREDIT moi, in cold then warmer temperatures. It's raining right now, so the temperature must be above freezing.
onebyone – Big Ouch for "MORE FOOD PUSHERS." Thanks for the warning about Persian Bazaars - you're right, I wouldn't have survived continuously offered tree nuts. Thinking about you dealing with your mother's handlers.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – Yikes! indeed. Welcome to the club of those of us who've stretched the credibility of 'red line.' Be encouraged that my attack on snacks is sliding me slowly back into range.
maryann - Kudos for "Three days of OP. Salad, smoothie and logging." Do you recommend Frozen?
nationalparker – Congrats on the new low scale reading. Kudos for recognizing that your attraction to snacks was for comfort. Sending supportive thoughts as you continue to wait for information about your dad.
janelle (shcirerf) - Yay for Beck's Pink Book to get her strategies first hand. Kudos for those two years of maintenance. Do you still do WW as a graduate?
Tricia (AZtricia) - Congrats on that pound lost to restore your feeling that you're on track. Keep the faith - your clothing size, like your scale, will come along in its own good time.
flnu - Drats, my 7-11 doesn't carry squid-flavored potato chips. Your salabao sounds like the Chinese dumplings we get around here. Hope your work trip goes well today.
6crowsgold - Neat strategy "to distract myself from snagging snackies all night."
day 13Overcome Cravings
Anti-Craving Strategies - Behavioral Techniques
If you're still tempted to eat something you shouldn't after you've done all five mindset techniques, then try as many of the behavior techniques below as you need: 1. Distance yourself from the food you crave. When you experience a craving because you see or smell food, you might be able to move that food to an inconvenient place (where you can't see it) or to get rid of it (give it away, throw it away, or put it down the disposal).
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Beck Diet Solution (Pink book), pg 131.
New Journey: 10 years
In maintenance phase: 8 years and 6 months
Following Dr. Judith Beck via 3FC's Beck Diet Solution Forum: 8 years
Yesterday was healthy. I've weighed this morning and need to think through the day. I believe I will have one meal out as we are accompanying DD/family to her sonogram. Today is the day we'll find out if we'll have another Granddaughter or a first Grandson. Recognizing that duties untended have an impact on my food I'm working at home until we leave. Some tax stuff is done and I'm working on health insurance now...baffling to me, but necessary that I finish. credit. Lots of exercise yesterday as we worked in the yard. I have one procrastinated project outside before we head out.
I forgot to weigh myself! Habits disappear so quickly. Let's hope the junk food habit disappears just as fast!
WI: NA kg, Exercise: +50 990/1500 minutes for March, Food: 100%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: no
flnu: I've been fooled by the health aura of granola, too. It can be nutritious (if there's not too much fat and sugar), but the serving size is tiny!
Lexxiss: sympathies for tax and health insurance issues -- we tackled both in the last week. Health insurance ended up surprisingly easy. Our current insurance sucks but it's so cheap that we're going stick with it rather than pay more for a plan that would cover more. At least, that's the decision this year. The new, and comforting, wrinkle is that we get to reconsider that decision each year.
A drive by tonight because I am on my ipad. I am happy to report that I was back on track today. I didn't have a good window of opportunity to exercise because I was traveling but I did do a solid 25 min of hard-for-me yoga abs. Food was better. Lunch was unidentifiable. Pretty sure it was meat and bamboo shoots. It was pretty good. Pomelo salad and pad thai for dinner. No granola at all. Best wishes for each and everyone you to have a day full of met goals.